Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Thursday, January 18, 2018

The Truth about Couple’s Sex Toys

Different sex toys on a light background

If you’ve ever been on a sex toy website or blog or even read a page on sex toys in a magazine, you’ve probably heard of toys like cock rings, the We-Vibe or the Eva, designed to be used during sex involving a penis and a vagina. These toys are super cool and can work for a whole bunch of bodies, but I have a secret for you…

Any sex toy can be a couple’s sex toy.

What I mean is, your toy doesn’t have to be labeled for use with a partner in order to be used with a partner. Sex toys can be used any way you want!

Let’s start with an example, do you know what’s easier than using a dildo on yourself? Having a partner use one on you! Same goes for vibrators, butt plugs, and strokers. Using a sex toy on a partner for the first time can be nerve-wracking, but there are a whole bunch of ways to introduce a sex toy of any type. You can watch your partner use it, have them show you how to use it on them, or each use your own sex toy next to one another (a sexy activity called mutual masturbation!).

You may be wondering why you might use a sex toy instead of your partner’s penis, hands, or mouth. “Aren’t they good enough? Will a sex toy replace them?” you ask.  Worry not, my friend. Your partner’s sexual expertise is probably absolutely wonderful. Using sex toys doesn’t replace your partner though, it only offers something different! Sex toys can provide new sensations, textures, and activities. A biological penis, no matter who it is attached to, cannot spin around 360 degrees inside another human while vibrating. It’s just not a thing, but do you know what can? A sex toy.

I’ve got another secret for you: sex doesn’t have to mean putting a penis in a vagina, and for many couples, it doesn’t mean that at all! Sex can mean oral stimulation (blowjobs or cunnilingus!), manual action (fingering and handjobs!), or simply masturbating next to one another. Even kissing and roaming hands can count as sex for some folks.

Having only one narrow definition for sex, and one definition for a “couples sex toy” leaves many people out of the conversation. For example, take the classic question “How do lesbians have sex?” Our narrow definition of sex is the reason that question exists. Lesbians have sex in the way they choose to define sex, and everyone gets to define sex in the way they want to.

Some couples may use sex toys almost every time they have sex. This can be two folks who adore strap-on sex, and therefore use a harness and dildo for their penetrative fun, or someone who needs the strong vibrations of their magic wand in order to orgasm, or extra-kinky folks who are head-over-heels about impact play, pulling out an arsenal of riding crops or paddles every time they get busy!

So keep using your We-Vibes and cock rings for partnered sex (they’re great!), but remember you can also throw a magic wand, stroker, or dildo in the mix. You define your own version of sex, whatever that may mean to you, so sex can be whatever you want it to be!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

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