Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Sex Toys Are a Man's Best Friend Too

Muscular young sexy man lies on the bed

There's a common idea that men are all self-satisfied horn dogs who get whatever kind of sex they want because they're guys and that's what they do. While people mean well when they say that, it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Sure, women often get called names for having many sexual partners while men typically get a gentle chiding for the same behavior. Still, quantity and quality are not the same. Men might have sex with more people, but they aren't really allowed to enjoy it.

While there's a lot of attention and time spent educating and teaching women to advocate for their sexual pleasure, we actively discourage men from fully enjoying their sexuality. There's tons of examples of this in our culture, but one the saddest is the stigma against men using sex toys.

While this is fading with time, I really don't think it's moving fast enough. As a former victim of this continuing social plague, it's important for me speak openly about my love of sex toys and all the joys they've brought into my life.

I once believed wanting to try something more than just penetration was a sign of weakness. Now, I'm proud to have a sex toy box to rival my childhood X-Men & Power Ranger action figure collections. The change came gradually with a few restrained attempts at keeping up the facade of stoic masculinity followed by several purchases that changed my mind about the kind of pleasure I was capable of having.

While most of the specific products I bought aren't really sold anymore, the categories have only gotten better. So, let's go over a few sex toys that changed my life and could help step your sex game up, even if it's solo dolo.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Talking About Safer Sex

Woman with Condom Packet in Underwear

How did it go the last time you engaged in sexual activities with a new partner? Was it awkward? Did you discuss condoms and birth control? Did you gloss over the whole thing and wish for the best?

Perhaps you've already dealt with negative repercussions because you didn't take safer sex seriously, or you may be wanting to make sex for the first time go as smoothly as possible. Safer sex is definitely something you need to consider then!

Safer Sex Protects You

Perhaps you don't know how crucial safer sex is. This is especially true for people who had little to no sex education, and the recipients of sex ed that focused on abstinence only. Instead of teaching about how the risks of sex can be minimized, many try to instill a fear of sex. However, this leads to bad sex and actually encourages risky behavior.

There's an even greater lack of guidance when it comes to talking about sex, which can be tricky at the best of times. These talks can remind us of partners who weren't receptive or bring up feelings of guilt surrounding our pleasure, neither of which are productive.

It becomes much easier to talk about safer sex when you stick to big-picture thinking. Sure, talking about it might be a little awkward now. But if you don't have a talk, you could wind up with some consequences that are far worse than a little awkwardness or missing the chance to have sex with someone, including becoming pregnant and having to choose to have a child or abortion.

STIs are another serious risk, and the consequences vary depending upon the infection. For instance, you might wind up with abnormal Pap smear results from HPV and find yourself visiting your provider more frequently. If you're fortunate, you'll have an asymptomatic strain. Less fortunate women have contracted a strain of HPV that lead to cervical cancer and infertility.

HPV and other infections that cause periodic breakouts will limit your sexual activity in the future. You may always have to use condoms, even when you decide to become fluid-bonded with a single partner, or you may have to avoid certain activities entirely during a breakout. Medication, whether temporary or prescribed for life, is a reality for the many people who have had an STI.

This isn't our attempt to slut-shame anyone or to scare you away from sex. Quite the opposite is true. Sex can be pleasurable and a wonderful way to show someone that you care. Through sex, you can learn more about yourself and other people, but there are risks, some of which are quite severe. Being able to talk about safer sex and sexual histories can prevent much of this stress and keep your body healthier, and it doesn't take a lot of effort!