Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Wand Vibrators More Than Hitachi

Vibrator adult sex toy

You've probably heard the Hitachi Magic Wand called the “Cadillac of vibrators” if you've read a sex toy review or two. For years, the Hitachi Magic Wand represented the gold standard of vibrators for decades despite its bulk and weight and the fact that it needed to be plugged in because of its powerful motor. Your mom may have used one or even your grandmother, and some people have used the same toy for years. The Hitachi has truly stood the test of time.

However, it's 2019, and it's not the only wand massager available, and it may no longer be the best one. This does make shopping for a wand a little harder, but we're here to help.

Does Hitachi Still Make the Magic Wand?

You might not realize that you can still get the Magic Wand if you don't keep up with sex toy news. It's just got a new name: Magic Wand Original. But while the wand is still available, that almost wasn't the case.

In 2013, the Hitachi company considered discontinuing the Magic Wand because it wanted to distance sex toys from its brand. Instead, Hitachi's distributor Vibratex, which you may know for its happy-looking rabbit vibrators, convinced Hitachi to keep making the Magic Wand but under a different name. So you have Vibratex to thank if your trusty Hitachi died and you wanted to replace it with the same toy.
Cordless, Variable, and More

This rebranding brought with it the long-desired Magic Wand Rechargeable. This version now boasts four speeds into of the two that the original comes with.

A note on Magic Wands: there are plenty of imitations on the market. If you want the real deal, purchase the Magic Wand Original or Rechargeable from a reputable sex toy retailer that's certified to sell the wand, which comes with a one-year warranty. Yup, Cirilla's is one of them, but Magic Wands sold on Amazon, Ebay, and other vendor sites may be fake. You might want to save a little money, but you won't save yourself any hassle. Learn more about counterfeit Magic Wands.

More Choices Than Ever

I've spent a lot of time talking about the Magic Wand Original after pointing out that there are alternatives available to customers. It's still an incredibly popular sex toy, after all. But what if the Magic Wand isn't your cup of tea? Perhaps you don't like the strength or depth of the vibrations. The head might be the wrong shape or size. Many people wish it were adjustable (for years, you could buy a cord attachment to hack the vibrations of the Hitachi). Whatever your preference, we've got you covered.

Cirilla's sells the following wands:

  • Le Wand – 20-setting wand available in regular and petite sizes with a variety of attachments and covers but you can always use the silicone head
  • Bodywand – fully adjustable thanks to a dial and without the risk of overheating due to air vents
  • Lelo Smartwand – rechargeable, silicone-coated wands available in medium and large sizes
  • Sola Sync – has a uniquely long handle, silicone exterior, 10 functions, and a wireless remote

Vibratex also makes corded and rechargeable versions of its own Mystic Wand that have been favorably reviewed. Lovehoney has thrown its hat into the wand game with both corded and cordless massagers. Another popular wand maker is Doxy, available in the original design, with a sleek die cast body, and an upgraded design that combines the best of both worlds. Doxy also makes a number of attachments.

Palm Power, Fairy Wand, Tantus Rumble, and Lovense Domi are just a few of the wands offered by reputable makers. CalExotics sells a few wands under the Embrace, Inspire, Miracle Massager, and Utopia lines. But Amazon is full of knockoffs.

There are simply too many options to list, but when it comes to choosing an alternative, a trusted name is often worth paying a bit more (wands can run from $60 to $150+). But you should read a few reviews for specific models before making your choice.

One thing that can make your decision easier is whether a toy is compatible with attachments.
Do More With Attachments

You probably have a good idea of what features you want in your wand massage, but you can do a lot more if you opt for an attachment. Attachments typically fit on the head of the wand to provide you with different sensations or, in some cases, different functions.

If you want a different sensation, a cover that fits over the head of the wand might do the trick. But if you want to use your toy in multiple ways, look for an insertable attachment so you can enjoy your wand vaginally or anally Some attachments provide dual stimulation with their shapes.

Attachments aren't just good for you if you have a clitoris or vagina. Le Wand even comes with attachments intended for use with a penis, and you can purchase stroker attachments that fit over the head of your massager.

Another benefit of covers and attachments? You can take them off to clean them easily. And if the attachment is made of pure silicone (unfortunately, the head of the Hitachi is PVC), you can sanitize it by boiling or washing with a 10% bleach solution. Just be sure to rinse it well after you do!

While you can sometimes buy attachments as a bundle with the wand – and this might mean savings -- you can usually purchase them separately. This is ideal if you're unsure which attachment you'd like or would like to buy more than one to use with your massager.

Attachments are sometimes compatible with different models. Many companies designed their wands specifically to be the same size as the Hitachi. So an attachment that works for any of the following wands will work for all of them: Hitachi, Bodywand, Doxy, Lovehoney, Wand Essentials.

Finally, you can accessorize your wand with a harness that holds your wand in place (perfect for bondage scenarios where hands are bound), saddles for the Sybian that allow you to use a wand with it, and sex pillows with special pockets for holding your wand (Liberator makes the Axis among others).

While no one would blame you if you wanted to stick to the tried-and-true Magic Wand Original, there are plenty of alternatives out there. If you find the choices overwhelming, consider whether you want something cordless, with multiple speeds, or that's compatible with accessories. This will help you

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Thursday, May 9, 2019

How to Go from Good Sex To Great Sex

Above top view of passionate beautiful naughty sexualcouple, woman domination and provocation she is kissing the handsome man on a bed and wearing lace black erotic underwear

A lot of people simply want to know the techniques that will make good sex into great sex, and you'll find plenty of those within our blog posts. But you can try all sorts of new things to make your good sex great and wind up a little disappointed. Why is that? There are two factors at play: your attitude and communication.

Your Attitudes About Sex

We start with attitude because if you have a bad attitude about sex, then you're unlikely to communicate about it effectively. Of course, some people may have a pretty healthy view of sex. If you're one of
them, you might want to skip this section.

What do we mean when we talk about a healthy attitude about sex?

  • You recognize that sex (with others and yourself) is natural and healthy
  • You don't judge others or yourself for your sexual preferences (as long as they involve consenting adults)
  • You recognize that having great sex can take work
  • You proactively take charge of your sexual healthYou don't prioritize your partner's pleasure over your own
  • You have sex because and only when you want to
Many of these ideas are tenets of the sex-positive movement, and while it's gaining traction, it's harder to shed "sex negative" thoughts than you might realize.

If you've been taught your entire life that sex is scary or risky, that your sexuality belongs to another person (such as a partner), that your pleasure is less important than someone else's (often true for women), that sex is your duty, that sex should only be for procreation (thus sex with yourself, multiple people, using birth control, or with a same-sex partner is immoral), that you shouldn't be interested in sex or any of the myriad other things that society impressed upon us, you might not look so favorably on sex.

You may have spent much of your sex life having mediocre sex, perhaps dealing with pain or discomfort or partners who don't care about your sexual pleasure. You might not be familiar with your anatomy. You may never have learned that sex can be good for you. It may be something that you simply grin and bear until it's over. Or you may have felt coerced to say "Yes" to sex you didn't want.

None of these things is helpful if you want to have a happy and healthy sex life, and several of these attitudes can get in the way of your pleasure and fostering greater intimacy with your partner(s).

How do you change attitudes about sex?

It's certainly easier said than done. You might start by examining how those attitudes have harmed you. You might finally admit your real desires and fantasies.

It also helps to learn more about sex whether that be by reading books, listening to podcasts, or attending lectures and sessions. There are so many resources available if you want to learn. You might be surprised how much you didn't know, but it's not your fault. Society often hides sex in the shadows.

Sex positivity can include talking to people about sex. We don't mean just your partner; although, we'll get to that in a moment. We mean friends, siblings, parents, and anyone else whom you might know. Recognizing that sex is healthy and natural and something to be enjoyed enables you to talk without shame. Knowing this can encourage you to speak to your doctor about any sexual problems.

One particular person who may prove helpful is a sex-positive therapist who can help you work through long-held beliefs about sex that are not longer aiding you. Although some professionals may be sex-negative, the right therapist can help you experience your sexuality more fully.

Let's Talk About Communication

Once you've got a healthy relationship with sex, it's time to consider your relationships with other people (unless, of course, you're sticking to solo sex).

Many people have the type of sex they think they should have, which might be good enough, but may not scratch every itch. You might want to try something such as bondage or spanking instead of just having "vanilla" sex. You may want your partner to pay more attention to your clitoris during sex or find yourself wishing that foreplay took longer.

These are all valid desires and, in some cases, are quite natural. If you're a woman, you've dealt with sex that prioritizes a man's orgasm. Even men might be surprised by how much better good sex can become once they talk about it.

Some people might think that talking about sex is silly. As long as it's good enough, why do it? After all, it's such an awkward conversation to have.

While that's true, it sets limits on your sexual experiences. Talking about sex means you can describe your fantasies, ask for what you want, talk dirty, and get to know your partner better.

There are a few things to keep in mind when talking about sex.

  • These conversations don't have to be tense or a "big deal." Keep a light tone and use humor when talking about sex. Just make sure the humor isn't at the expense of your partner.
  • Don't assume that the response will be negative or a rejection. Allow your partner to surprise you.
  • It's usually smart not to have a conversation about sex in the middle of sex or right after because this may come off as criticism.
  • Start the conversation when you know your partner has time for it and not when they're busy or distracted. You can let your partner know that you'd like to talk about sex when there's time.
  • Try not to have conversations where your partner will feel "trapped." This means that conversations in a vehicle might be ill-advised.
  • Be prepared to hear your partner's own desires and needs when you open the channels of communication.
  • Avoid blame or judgment in these conversations.

Remember that the sooner you make a habit of talking about sex, the easier it will be. If you can talk about sex when your sex life is good, you'll have an easier time should you run into any trouble down the line. These skills can also apply to other difficult discussions you may have.

Talking about your sex life allows you to explore with your partner, and both of you may find that sex gets even better by doing so. Communication is the foundation that lets you try any toy or technique you might discover.

Adopting a healthy attitude about sex and developing the skills to talk about sex can transform a good sex life into an even better one, and it can also help you improve your sex life if it's lackluster.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r