Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Monday, July 25, 2016

Benefits of Male Chastity

Matching metal chastity cages

There's nothing I love more than control. Even still, having control over some things gives me a queasy sensation in my belly like I've moved a bit too fast just after eating a large meal. Chastity play is one such situation where my enjoyment is a confusing mix of feelings that is best described as uncomfortably fun.  As a beginner, these feelings often mean my wonderful CB-6000 sits around collecting dust, which is sad.

The best way to ease discomfort with things like this is to simply explore what it is and how it works. So, I set out on a mission to figure out what people actually get out of chastity play, with the hope that I can answer that for myself when I’m all done.

It’s hot

While it seems unnecessary to say, many people, myself included, forget that things being fun is enough often a perfectly valid reason to do them. Much like sweet grits and Pok√©mon Go, chastity play is fun for lots of people and it really doesn’t matter if it’s understood or not. If that was enough to get over self-doubt and general anxiety, we wouldn’t be here. So, let’s dig a little deeper.

Focus 

My sub is full of energy, has an one-track mind, and a preoccupation with how sexy their Dom is. While I enjoy it, he could definitely use a bit more focus in general. From my conversations with fellow D-type folks, that seems to be an incredibly common refrain. So, perhaps the sub community can use a bit more focus en mass. Luckily, many people find that chastity play helps the wearer focus on things other than sex.

Although I’m a little dubious, it’s true my pup finds solace in the weight of the collar around his neck. When locked in his cage, I definitely notice that mine becomes more attentive and present. I guess urban legend, that infamous George-focused Seinfeld episode, and the echoing words on semen retention from Tibetan Tantra educator Devi Ward can’t all be wrong.

Plus, even my pup Bubby agrees. “My time in Chastity allows me enough focus to explore alternative avenues of pleasure, such as: personal self-care, nipple play, and getting off in providing my Dom his daily services.”

Humility & Obedience

It is said that for a man to submit, one must grab him firmly by the balls. Chastity play has a sub by their dick and balls, lock and key. The Vulcan in me logics that the combination should be somewhat if not significantly more effective.  Looking back, the times my pup is in his cage are some of the most cooperative times we share. He’s generally very mouthy, but the cage tends to help keep his smart-assed comments to a minimum.

Since we only use our chastity cage for short periods, I’m not sitting on a mountain of data. Still, I must give the cock cage its due credit; it’s only one of a few physical things that help my bull-headed boy behave. I’m not sure of the how behind the attitudinal adjustment, but it’s a comforting tool to have regardless.


Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Squirting 101: How to Squirt

Squirting through Gray Panties
Squirting. Is it the holy grail of a woman's sexual pleasure? Is it overblown? Is it really a sexual response at all? Read on to find out.

The Science of Squirting

There have been a lot of studies that indicate squirting is or isn't urine – or related to urine at the very least. Because of a lack of research on the study, it's difficult to be sure. New science may come out tomorrow that tells us even more about squirting. But here's what we know so far. If you're a woman who can squirt, you probably already know this!

During sex or masturbation, a woman's bladder quickly fills with fluid, including prostate fluid from the G-spot. If you find that you squirt just a little during sex, it might only be prostate fluid. For most women who are able to ejaculate, this liquid is ejaculated during a vaginal/G-spot orgasm. However, some women are able to squirt without any orgasm at all!

Although squirting seems really popular in porn, it's not something that every woman finds herself able or even willing to do! It also tends to look different in person. While you can push out more ejaculate by bearing down with your PC muscles – the opposite you would do to stop the flow of urine – it doesn't tend to dribble or bubble out from the vagina. In porn, women who “squirt” are sometimes pushing out water that they've been holding in their vagina for effect.

Can Everyone Squirt?

It's difficult to determine how many women can squirt it for several reasons. First, some women's G-spots aren't particularly responsive to even direct stimulation. Secondly, that lack of research makes it difficult to pinpoint what enables squirting. Finally, some women may be able to squirt but hold back because they're worried it's urine.

Recently, one study concluded that it was urine simply because a woman's ejaculate comes from the bladder and exits through the urethra, which has made some women -- and their partners -- reluctant to try squirting. Squirters don't necessarily agree with this search, however. Their experiences prove otherwise! Medication that affects urine doesn't affect a woman's ejaculate.

Regardless, squirting can be erotic and pleasurable if you're willing to give it a go. Make sure to put a few towels beneath you or invest in a Liberator Throe if you're a serious squirter. This blanket keeps the mess to a minimum! It's great for cleanup during sex even if you don't squirt, and you can protect your sheets from lube stains, too.