Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Thursday, December 15, 2016

8 Innovative Sex Toys You've Got to See to Believe

adult girl choosing toys in sex shop
If you're looking for a new sex toy to add excitement to your sex life, then look no further than this list. You might have missed some of the latest sex toy technology on the market, but we've got information on all the innovate sex toys and how those toys will work for you.

1. Warming Vibrators


Whether you're in the middle of the cold front that's taken over much of the country or you simply like to heat things up, a warming vibrator is just what the doctor ordered. These vibrators offer a gradual warming function without need for an AC adapter or the risk of burning yourself; although, you can use these toys without warming if you'd like.

We carry one such toy, the Summer Lovin' Vibrator, but there are a few more options in the market if you'd like a different shape or size.

2. Partner Toys


Toys dedicated to using with your partner have always existed, but We-Vibe was among the first companies to take it to the next step. The We-Vibe is a vibrator intended to be worn vaginally during intercourse. Through the years, the company has added features such as flexibility and a remote control.

Check out the newest version of the We-Vibe Sync, a silicone-coated couple's vibrator that comes with its own charging dock, remote control and adjustable shape. You can even use it remotely thanks to the compatible app.

Lelo's Tiani is another couples' vibrator, and it uses an original remote control that responds to movement.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

7 Sex Toy Mistakes You're Making

Fun Factory Vibrators with a Bag on White Background
Did you know that using sex toys wrong could lead to infection, a broken sex toy or worse? Sex toys are a fantastic addition to your sex life, but you should take a few moments to get to know your toys and go over some safety basics before using them.

Fortunately, we've got the lowdown on using sex toys, so you can avoid these 7 sex toy mistakes.

1. You're Still Using Jelly Toys


Many of us purchased jelly toys when we first started experimenting because they were plentiful and cheap, but that's not all jelly toys are. They can be unhealthy because they're porous, which means bacteria can remain embedded in the material no matter how thoroughly you scrub them. This porosity can be seen as jelly toys melt together over time.

Silicone offers a nonporous alternative that's safe to swap between orifices or partners, store side-by-side, comes in a variety of colors and can be just as hard as your favorite jelly toy or as hard as glass (nearly). Prices are also surprisingly affordable.

With care, a silicone toy can last for a lifetime.


2. You're Going Ass to Vagina (or Mouth)


While this dubious activity seems common in porn, it's not safe in real life. The anus contains bacteria that can lead to infections if you swap toys without fully disinfecting them. That's why we recommend nonporous materials such as silicone. Glass, stainless steel, ceramic, treated wood and ceramic are also nonporous and can be safely used vaginally as long you disinfect them first.

There are a few ways to disinfect nonporous toys:
  • Boil toys without a motor for at least 3 minutes.
  • Spray toys with motors with a 10% bleach solution, allow it to sit, then rinse dry.
  • Place toys without a motor on the top rack of your dishwasher and run a cycle without soap.

If you don't plan to orifice swap, a soap-and-water wash or using sex toy cleaner should do the trick.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

How to Gift Sex Toys Like a Pro

Surprised santa woman with gift box vintage
Based on the holly jolly spreading through retailers across the country, the various winter holidays and their inevitable gift-giving quandaries are nigh. Since the whole point of gift giving is to put a smile on the receiver’s face, it makes sense that sex toys might be high up on the list of wants. It also makes sense that the uncertainty in buying a sex toy as a gift might lead some to err on the side of shopping at a big box store instead. This year, though, we've got your back with this fail proof guide to giving sex toys as a gift.

Make Good Decisions

The absolute best way to make sure your sex toy gift goes over well is to make good decisions about who to give them to. While you may jump for joy over a surprise new rabbit vibe, not everyone is going to feel the same. In fact, you may find that  even your hippest friends may be uncomfortable receiving a sex toy as a gift if they aren't having sex with you. Also, if your relationship is closer to acquaintance than friend, it might feel a lot like harassment to receive such a gift.

Make sure you know that the recipient will be ok with receiving a sex toy from you specifically. Now is not the time to antagonize your conservative friend for laughs. Be kind and get consent before you waste your time and money.

Know Their Preferences

Everybody's body is a little different. So, picking the perfect toy often starts with a research project, which is part of the fun. Even if you know what they like in general, you may not know what they want specifically or ideally. Try to find out if a certain toy or category is on their shortlist. Perhaps ask about some components of their dream toy.

Often a passive night of online shopping can be enough to point you in the right direction, but you could also ask outright. If you prefer to keep the mystery, maybe talk about what you like instead.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Tips for a Safe Hookup

fashion studio photo of impassioned beautiful couple. sexy woman with blond hair and handsome brunette man
Now more than ever, hookups are on trend. There's no need to spend countless dates getting to know a good-looking stranger if all you want is something physical. Hookups allow both men and women to get theirs, and there's certainly nothing wrong with them.

However, a hookup isn't without risk, especially with apps and sites that match you up with strangers about whom you might not have a lot of information. Follow our advice for a hookup that's both safe and sexy.

Don't Forget About Safer Sex During Your Hookups


To start, you want to have safer sex. This means protecting against pregnancy and STI transmission. Even if you're on a type of birth control (the pill, patch or shot, for example), using condoms is important to protect against sexually transmitted infections. We don't mean to imply that your hookup partner is hiding anything from you, but some STIs can fly under the radar. Even if you're a woman, bring your own condoms just to be covered.

With that in mind, condoms don't protect against every type of infection. HPV, for example, is one STI that can be passed on via skin-to-skin contact, so condoms won't be effective. It's always smart to disclose your STI status before hooking up with someone, but this may not be possible or practical with a one-night stand, so safety is a must!

Some people like to go the extra mile by bringing along dental dams, which you can use when performing oral sex on a partner to reduce the risk of STI transmission. Non-latex gloves are great during manual stimulation, especially of the anus.

The last thing you should add to your safer sex kit is lubrication. It makes things slippery and smooth. It can also prevent micro-abrasions from the friction of sex, which sounds pretty safe to us! If you show up prepared for sex, your partner will definitely be impressed.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Cirilla's Awarded Best Adult Toy Store

Nuvo & Leo Weekly Best of Covers 2016
A big thank you to our customers in Louisville and Indianapolis for voting us the "Best Adult Store". We are honored to have won the Leo Readers' Choice award for "Best Adult/Erotic Store" 13 years in a row.  Our Indianapolis customers also named us Nuvo's "Best Adult Toy Store" for the 3rd year in a row. Thank you to everyone who voted!

Best Adult/Erotic Store

Cirilla’s

For LEO’s last Valentine’s Day issue, I drove to every adult/erotic store in the city to ask: “How kinky is Louisville?” I didn’t know what to expect, but the people working at Cirilla’s couldn’t have been nicer. They know their trade, they don’t judge and they just want to help you find your kink. But seriously, don’t ask them to come home and try out your new toy with them … not cool. — Ethan Smith

See the full article here

Best Adult Toy Store 

Cirilla’s

Dildos! Get yer dildos here! Dongs! Dildos, vibrators and butt plugs! Lace panties and fireman outfits! Come one, er, come all! This longtime favorite supplies everything you need to get freaky. Need a recommendation? They’ve got a friendly, knowledgeable staff! Don’t quite know what you want? Get a surprise grab bag for a man, a woman or a couple, filled with an assortment of toys to rev your engine solo or together. They also have a wide selection of costumes, lingerie, fetish toys, DVDs and other goodies. The point is, get down there and get off creatively!

See the full article here


Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Silicone Lube vs. Silicone Toys

sex shop
The wide world of personal lubricants is confusing at best. Thankfully, most of the questions and confusions can be solved with a simple Google search. Still, not all are.

For example, the question of if one can use silicone lubes with silicone sex toys takes more than a leisurely stroll, mainly because the answers are many, incomplete, and very conflicting. From the research I’ve done – you’re welcome – the answer is far simpler than it appears.

In short, you can absolutely use silicone lubes with silicone sex toys, but you have to be cautious about the ingredients. If you are unsure, it is always best to stick with a water-based lubricant.

The problem with silicone on silicone love 


Those familiar with the experience of opening a drawer to find two toys hopelessly and spontaneously melted together know just how frustrating chemical reactions can be. Luckily, in the case of silicone vs. silicone, the problem isn’t so much that the silicone itself is the falling apart. Instead, the problem is actually the extra ingredients some manufacturers add to their toys for price savings. Well, that or the way they turn the liquid silicone into the firm elastic stuff you’re familiar with, otherwise known as curing.

Silicone – officially known as silicone rubber despite it being rubber-free – is a sticky liquid mixture of silicon, carbon, hydrogen and oxygen. In its pure state, it’s highly stable and is one of the safest materials we can use with our bodies. It’s also very expensive and capitalism makes some manufactures add a little more to that simple mixture to make it stretch a little further – a dildo puttanesca, if you will.

While every poor community since the dawn of currency can appreciate a little cost savings, sometimes the additives can make the mixture less stable chemically and/or simply more reactive to chemicals and solvents… like oils, other sex toys and, sadly, silicone lubes. The lubes themselves can have a similar problem. Usually, though, it simply changes the firmness or elasticity.
If you’re using a pure toy with a diluted lube or vice versa, everything should be fine. If they’re both diluted, then you can have a problem. That problem being a molecular breakdown, which could cause your lube to fuse to the toy or un-cure the silicone of the toy mixture back to its natural state. Either of those is something you’re best served by avoiding. Here’s how…

Monday, September 26, 2016

Kinky Toys for Couples

Riding crop, a whip flogger and blindfold mask on red satin, kinky sex toys for dom / sub sexual games and other forms of kink
If you and your partner are just venturing into kink, you might not know where to start. There are plenty of toys available to satiate your every desire, but there are also those that are quite costly or unsuitable for the newly-kinky couple. Below you'll find some of the most common toys you may want to add to your toy box, so they'll be ready for the next playtime.


1. Blindfolds


The blindfold is simple and might seem, to some, like it's not adding a whole lot to your kinky repertoire. But they're wrong! Simply blinding yourself – or your partner – can heighten playtime. Plus, an elastic blindfold can double as a sleep mask when it's not playtime.

Even if you do the same things you always do, you'll feel an increased sense of anticipation when waiting for your partner's next move or touch. And all that anticipation? Leads to an increased payoff in the end!

The blindfolds that come with other kits tend to be low quality and quite small. If you want to achieve full blackout, choose a blindfold that has a more defined shape in front and is larger than the space around your eyes. Elastic means a blindfold will fit a variety of wearers, but some are adjustable.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Lingerie Buying Basics

Woman in garter belt lingerie drinking wine
Lingerie can be your secret sexual weapon, but if you're not sure how to wear it or even shop for it, lingerie can be quite intimidating.

The perfect piece of lingerie for you will fit your body and, perhaps more importantly, be comfortable. After all, confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear, and it's nearly impossible to be confident when you're not comfortable.

Read on to learn more about lingerie styles and fit.

Types of Lingerie

There are a number of types of lingerie to consider when you're purchasing.

  • Bustier: This piece of lingerie is like a light corset. It's not designed to pull anything in, but it has the same general shape that will emphasize an hourglass figure but may highlight your tummy if it's a problem area.
  • Corset: A corset helps to pull in your hips and waist thanks to the ribbons or strings. It also boosts your cleavage. A corset with boning will be more effective, and premium corsets will have multiple metal bones to provide structure. However, they come at a much higher price. 
  • Camisole: Often worn with panties or something else on the bottom, a camisole is a sexy top often made from satin or silk and trimmed in lace. Camisoles are sometimes worn under day clothing.
  • Chemise: A form-fitting nightgown that covers your upper body but stops around your hips or butt.
  • Babydoll: Has an empire waist right below your breast. It's looser below the waist, which is great for hiding tummies. Some babydolls utilize a flyaway style, showing a hint of your belly or back (if the pieces separate in back).
  • Garter belts: Garter belts or skirts are worn at the hip or waist, typically over your panties. They connect to stockings to keep them up. This piece really pulls together your outfit. Garter belts aren't necessary when your other pieces of lingerie have garters.
  • Teddies: The classic teddy is like a sexy bathing suit or leotard. It covers your upper body and includes a panty portion. It's especially stunning on svelte bodies.
  • Bodystocking: A single-piece type of hosiery that covers your entire body in lace, mesh or similar material. Tall or shorter women may have trouble finding one that fits well.
  • Robe: A robe can be worn over any of the other lingerie on this list or by itself. Robes are loose and fit a variety of bodies.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

PVC Gets a Bad Wrap

collection of purple sex toys
For as long as I’ve been a part of the sex-positive blogging community, I’ve been aware of and echoed the need to buy only body safe sex toys. While the category includes many different materials, the leader of this cool kids club is far and away silicone. Since the popular kids get the most said about them, we often forget that the less popular ones have a lot to offer, too.
Recently, I ventured a little out of my comfort zone and now own a toy made of PVC. So far, it’s looking like one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while.

Although I love that toy now, until it arrived, I was scared it’d be like all those toys made from mystery material I bought as a horny youngin’. The horrors of those are burned into my mind and orifices permanently. Luckily, unlike those other toys, when I excitedly snapped open the clamshell pack, I failed to register any gnarly chemical odors – a sure sign we were off to a great start.

Pricing:

The decision to plop down my own hard-earned money on a toy made from PVC came from a lack of options. My partner wanted something larger than any toy made from silicone I could find… for less than $300. My hard-earned duckets are also minimal. So, spending almost half what I pay on rent for a sex toy is out of the question. Luckily, my toy was only about $40.

There’s a whole world of toys made from PVC that are just waiting to find a home and you don’t have to sell your house to give them one. Although, their reasonable price leads many people to say things like, “you get what you pay for.” As if every silicone toy’s high price is always justified by it’s quality. It’s most certainly not. Having seen the actual costs associated with producing things like this, $40 should get us a lot more than it usually does.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Anatomy of the Clitoris



woman touching herself on the bed

The clitoris is a rather complex part of our anatomy and it is unique because it exists purely for pleasure. But it is perhaps unsurprising if you're at all familiar with the history of women's health in the field of science that the clitoris has largely been misunderstood, misrepresented, and even deliberately ignored (hint: it's because patriarchy).

Thankfully, research during the past two decades, including MRI imaging and 3D sonography, has provided more solid evidence regarding the extensive internal components of the clitoris. Despite this research many people still don't know that the clitoris is more than a small sensitive nub at the top of the vulva (external genitals). This part of our external anatomy that we refer to as the clitoris is actually just a part of the clitoris. It's called the glans and is homologous to the head of a penis, meaning they are similar and develop from the same tissue in utero.

A common analogy is that the glans is like the tip of an iceberg; it's the part that is visible externally, but there is a lot more going on internally.

So what else is the clitoris besides the glans?


The other major parts of the clitoris include the shaft, crura (singular: crus), and vestibular bulbs, all of which are made of erectile tissue. That means that during arousal, these parts will fill with blood and become firm, like a penis does. The crura and bulbs don't exactly become as stiffly hard as an erect penis does, but they become engorged with blood, making the vulva more sensitive.

The shaft is what connects the glans to the rest of the internal clitoris and can be felt under the clitoral hood just above the glans. The shaft is made of two corpora cavernosa (plural: corpus cavernosum), which is erectile tissue that fills with blood and causes clitoral erection. The corpus cavernosum then split into the crura.

The crura are the wishbone-shaped “legs” that extend outward from the shaft. They attach to the pelvic bone and may even wrap around the vagina during arousal.

The vestibular bulbs lay between the crura and surround the urethra and part of the vagina. During arousal the bulbs cuff the vagina and cause the vulva to expand outward.

And how does this affect pleasure?


It makes sense that typically when we discuss the clitoris we tend to focus so on the glans. With 8,000 nerve endings – twice as many as a penis – it is an incredibly sensitive and pleasurable spot! But it's important to understand what else is going on behind the scenes, so to speak, since the the internal clitoris is so extensive and interacts with other pleasurable parts of our anatomy.

As described above, when the crura and vestibular bulbs become engorged with blood, it increases sensitivity of the vulva. These structures also surround the urethra and vaginal walls, interacting with even more nerve endings. This means more pleasure from both external stimulation and through vaginal penetration.

Vibrators can be used to stimulate the entire clitoris through both internal and external stimulation. Using a strong, rumbly insertable vibrator like the LELO Mona 2 or We-Vibe Rave can stimulate the internal clitoris through the vagina for more intense sensations. And while the glans of the clitoris is already very sensitive, stimulating the internal structure is possible as well with powerful and/or rumbly external vibrators such as the We-Vibe Tango or Magic Wand Original.

According to researchers, less than 10% of folks with vaginas report reliably reaching orgasm through vaginal sex only, and about 25% report never being able to, so incorporating the clitoris in sexual stimulation is very important! Luckily, there are lots of ways to do that.

By: April
Follow on Twitter @VivaLaSexyBlog 

Monday, July 25, 2016

Benefits of Male Chastity

Matching metal chastity cages

There's nothing I love more than control. Even still, having control over some things gives me a queasy sensation in my belly like I've moved a bit too fast just after eating a large meal. Chastity play is one such situation where my enjoyment is a confusing mix of feelings that is best described as uncomfortably fun.  As a beginner, these feelings often mean my wonderful CB-6000 sits around collecting dust, which is sad.

The best way to ease discomfort with things like this is to simply explore what it is and how it works. So, I set out on a mission to figure out what people actually get out of chastity play, with the hope that I can answer that for myself when I’m all done.

It’s hot

While it seems unnecessary to say, many people, myself included, forget that things being fun is enough often a perfectly valid reason to do them. Much like sweet grits and Pok√©mon Go, chastity play is fun for lots of people and it really doesn’t matter if it’s understood or not. If that was enough to get over self-doubt and general anxiety, we wouldn’t be here. So, let’s dig a little deeper.

Focus 

My sub is full of energy, has an one-track mind, and a preoccupation with how sexy their Dom is. While I enjoy it, he could definitely use a bit more focus in general. From my conversations with fellow D-type folks, that seems to be an incredibly common refrain. So, perhaps the sub community can use a bit more focus en mass. Luckily, many people find that chastity play helps the wearer focus on things other than sex.

Although I’m a little dubious, it’s true my pup finds solace in the weight of the collar around his neck. When locked in his cage, I definitely notice that mine becomes more attentive and present. I guess urban legend, that infamous George-focused Seinfeld episode, and the echoing words on semen retention from Tibetan Tantra educator Devi Ward can’t all be wrong.

Plus, even my pup Bubby agrees. “My time in Chastity allows me enough focus to explore alternative avenues of pleasure, such as: personal self-care, nipple play, and getting off in providing my Dom his daily services.”

Humility & Obedience

It is said that for a man to submit, one must grab him firmly by the balls. Chastity play has a sub by their dick and balls, lock and key. The Vulcan in me logics that the combination should be somewhat if not significantly more effective.  Looking back, the times my pup is in his cage are some of the most cooperative times we share. He’s generally very mouthy, but the cage tends to help keep his smart-assed comments to a minimum.

Since we only use our chastity cage for short periods, I’m not sitting on a mountain of data. Still, I must give the cock cage its due credit; it’s only one of a few physical things that help my bull-headed boy behave. I’m not sure of the how behind the attitudinal adjustment, but it’s a comforting tool to have regardless.


Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Squirting 101: How to Squirt

Squirting through Gray Panties
Squirting. Is it the holy grail of a woman's sexual pleasure? Is it overblown? Is it really a sexual response at all? Read on to find out.

The Science of Squirting

There have been a lot of studies that indicate squirting is or isn't urine – or related to urine at the very least. Because of a lack of research on the study, it's difficult to be sure. New science may come out tomorrow that tells us even more about squirting. But here's what we know so far. If you're a woman who can squirt, you probably already know this!

During sex or masturbation, a woman's bladder quickly fills with fluid, including prostate fluid from the G-spot. If you find that you squirt just a little during sex, it might only be prostate fluid. For most women who are able to ejaculate, this liquid is ejaculated during a vaginal/G-spot orgasm. However, some women are able to squirt without any orgasm at all!

Although squirting seems really popular in porn, it's not something that every woman finds herself able or even willing to do! It also tends to look different in person. While you can push out more ejaculate by bearing down with your PC muscles – the opposite you would do to stop the flow of urine – it doesn't tend to dribble or bubble out from the vagina. In porn, women who “squirt” are sometimes pushing out water that they've been holding in their vagina for effect.

Can Everyone Squirt?

It's difficult to determine how many women can squirt it for several reasons. First, some women's G-spots aren't particularly responsive to even direct stimulation. Secondly, that lack of research makes it difficult to pinpoint what enables squirting. Finally, some women may be able to squirt but hold back because they're worried it's urine.

Recently, one study concluded that it was urine simply because a woman's ejaculate comes from the bladder and exits through the urethra, which has made some women -- and their partners -- reluctant to try squirting. Squirters don't necessarily agree with this search, however. Their experiences prove otherwise! Medication that affects urine doesn't affect a woman's ejaculate.

Regardless, squirting can be erotic and pleasurable if you're willing to give it a go. Make sure to put a few towels beneath you or invest in a Liberator Throe if you're a serious squirter. This blanket keeps the mess to a minimum! It's great for cleanup during sex even if you don't squirt, and you can protect your sheets from lube stains, too.


Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Guide to Personal Lubricants

Wicked Sensual Care Aqua Collection
A lot of people buy personal lubricant because it's available and cheap, but they could be making a mistake. For example, you can't use all lube with condoms, and some contain ingredients that are potentially harmful to your health or sex toys.

Why Use Lube At All?

Lube keeps things slippery. Not every vagina makes enough natural lubrication for sex (and the rectum doesn't lubricate at all!), especially if it's going to be a long session. Plenty of foreplay helps, but there's no shame in reaching for lube. Personal lubricants keep things comfortable.
You can also find lube with special features such as warming, cooling or flavors, which can make your sex life more fun. If you're struggling not to orgasm, numbing lubricants can delay ejaculation, but we don't recommend them for anal sex. There are even lubes intended to help you conceive and hypoallergenic formulas for those who are prone to infections.

What do you need to know when choosing lube? Read on.

Know Your Ingredients

In general, there are three types of lube: water-based, silicone and oil-based lubes. Plus, there are hybrids, lubes that contain both water and silicone ingredients to consider.

There are a few things to know about these ingredients.


  1. Oil-based lubricants are great for male masturbation and anal sex but are not safe if you use condoms, diaphragms or dental dams for safer sex because the oil degrades latex. Some people love the luxurious feel of coconut oil, and they reach into their kitchen cabinets before sex. Lube makers are paying attention and have begun including it in their products. We recommend caution when using oil-based lube for vaginal sex because it can interfere with your vagina's natural cleansing process. 
  2. Silicone lubes like Pjur tend to be slicker and last longer than water-based, so you'll need to apply them less. They're also condom compatible. But they can react with your silicone toys, especially if your lube is lower quality. You can do a patch test on part of the toy that you don't insert. If it becomes gummy, try a water-based lube. 
  3. Water-based lubes are the most economical and readily available. You can refresh them with water, but they do tend to become sticky as they dry. Try ID Glide if you're looking for a brand. However, ingredients such as parabens and glycerin can lead to yeast infections in some women. There are plenty of water-based lubes that don't use these ingredients, however, and they're safe with all toys and condoms. 
  4. Hybrid lubes like the one made by System Jo could potentially react with silicone toys, but they're condom safe and offer a balance between silicone slickness and water's easy clean up.


Friday, June 24, 2016

Queer Porn Talk


Latex Lesbians

In honor of Pride month, I want to talk about queer porn. Queer porn is an inclusive and often subversive genre that showcases performers of many sexual orientations and gender identities which are seldom included in mainstream porn. The genre is steadily growing but there are still a lot of people who aren't familiar with it. So, let's look at the “who, what, when, where, and why” of queer porn!

WHO
            Courtney Trouble and Shine Louise Houston are responsible for some of the most popular queer porn sites and production companies. Trouble runs the websites Indie Porn Revolution (formerly NoFauxxx) and Queer Porn TV, as well as her own production company TROUBLEfilms.  Houston is the creator and director of the Crash Pad Series, which is made by her company Pink & White Productions. She also runs PinkLabel.TV, a streaming site that features her films and films from other queer porn producers. Both Trouble and Houston (and their production companies) have won multiple Feminist Porn Awards, Xbiz Awards, and have been nominated for AVN awards. Aside from these two fantastic producers, there's a growing number of other indie porn producers and individuals creating sexy queer porn. As for queer porn performers, they are a wonderfully diverse group of people. You'll see lots of different gender presentations, body sizes, ethnicities, kinks, etc.

           
WHAT
            So what exactly is queer porn, and how is it different from other porn? Well, most importantly, queer folks are involved in the whole process: directing, starring, and buying. Its focus is on representing different sexual orientations and gender identities, usually in a way that is very authentic and sometimes also educational or political. Unlike most mainstream porn, it's target demographic isn't necessarily straight white men. Courtney Trouble explains it like this: “I feel like [queer porn] is porn that's been taken a step above and beyond what 'lesbian porn' or 'gay porn' has offered. It includes all genders, all identities, and shows sex between queers in an honest, respectful, and artistic light.” Similarly, Chelsea Poe, a trans porn actress, put it this way: “I think the reality of queer porn is it's art and it's about creating space for marginalized people.”
          
            Queer porn inherently means showing many kinds of sex acts and ways to have sex. You're more likely to see people using sex toys, strap-ons, and lube, and practicing safer sex. It's typically less scripted and more authentic. This is how Kitty Stryker explains being on a queer porn set: “You really feel the electricity of how these various people have sex together... The goal is to have sex in the ways that feel good for you and your partner/s, right at that moment. As a performer I’ve found it very freeing; as a [production assistant], I find it healing and informative to watch.”


WHERE
            A lot of queer porn is being made is San Francisco and the Bay Area, which makes a lot of sense considering the area's long history of having a large LGBTQ+ community. As the genre grows, an increasing number of retailers are selling queer porn films.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

How to Incorporate Sex Toys Into Your Bedroom

Sex toys for adults
Sex toys aren't just for solo play. They can be great with your partner in the bedroom, too! Find new ways to pleasure your partner and strengthen your bond when you add sex toys to your next bedroom
foray.

But Aren't I Enough?

Some people flinch when their partners suggest using sex toys in the bedroom. You might be wondering if your partner is boring or if you're somehow not good enough. That is not true. Think of it like ice cream: there are hundreds of flavors, and you might have a favorite. But it's okay if you sometimes want to try something new or add some toppings. This doesn't mean your favorite is any less good. Sex is much like that, and variety is the spice of your sex life!

Many women are already familiar with sex toys because they provide the clitoral stimulation that most women need to get off, and it's a lot less stress on hands and wrists when a toy can do most of the work. You might be surprised how much fun you have shopping for and using new items, and toys and accessories can open up doorways to roleplay, bondage and other types of kink.

Friday, June 3, 2016

National LGBT Pride Month

#LoveIsLove

Rejoice spread across the nation when the US Supreme Court finally made same-sex marriage legal nationwide June 26, 2015. In the year since the queens of the court set up the most legendary QueerPride & History Month of my lifetime, it’s been relatively quiet.

Then again, there’s few events beside the release of Lemonade and T’Challa’s life-altering catwalk in Civil War that have made as much of a stir. Even still, it’s been one heck of the year.

Montana, New York state, and the city of Charlotte now offer their LGBT citizens legal protections against discrimination. Unfortunately, North Carolina had to show out at the function passing the infamous and much protested HB 2 bathroom bill. My favorite president and America’s dad jumped in with a directive to public schools nationwide to allow students to use the bathrooms that match their gender identity. See NY Times article

If he could slap the spit out of North Carolina Governor Pat McCory’s stupid mouth, he probably wouldn’t; Barry O is all class, which why part of why we love him. Instead, he’d sit back, wait and then so something like this:  Obama Issues Pride Month Proclamation

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2016 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month.  I call upon the people of the United States to eliminate prejudice everywhere it exists, and to celebrate the great diversity of the American people.”

He's so dreamy <3

Friday, May 20, 2016

Masturbation Is Essential for A Better Sex Life


You know, there’s this pervasive idea that masturbation makes partnered sex less fun. While it certainly can cool off one's raging libido, masturbation is definitely no substitute for a cuddles, smiles and everything else a partner brings into your sex and life. Even more, when done with care, masturbation actually does way more good than most people give it credit for.

Let's take a moment to think about the phrase "masturbation makes sex less fun;" there's so many problems with it. Like, firstly, masturbation is sex. I know people usually mean partnered sex, but masturbation can and often does happen during sex with someone(s) else, so... what's the problem?

Though I feign ignorance, I know that beneath all various complaints about masturbation, the true problem: fear that our partners can be replaced by the convenience of masturbation alone.

There's so much more to sex than masturbation can provide. Even the pleasure of masturbation isn't quite the same as the pleasure of intercourse or even simply human connection. Still they aren't at odds. In fact, here’s a few of the most thrilling ways masturbation can make your partnered sex even hotter!

Thursday, April 28, 2016

CB-6000 Male Chastity Device Review


Before I was offered to review the CB-6000 Male Chastity Device, orgasm and chastity control sat on my list of things to try eventually - once I wrap my mind around it. While I still haven't quite done that, it's safe to say CB-6000 is an excellent device to explore this burgeoning kink of mine.

My first thoughts about the CB-6000 could be summarized as thus: Wow this thing has a lot of parts. Metal locks, plastic locks, two-part cage system, plus a bunch of spacers, lube, and other various doodads to customize the fit of the unit. It’s great that there's a ton of things to play around with. Still, it’s an intimidating number of options.

As a beginner in the world of male chastity and only two years or so into exploring kink in my life, the most important thing for me is accessibility. I don't mind instructions, but I shouldn't feel like I'm putting together Ikea furniture, either. On our first time testing CB-6000 together, we didn't use the instructions and found it very easy to jump into.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Ways to Feel Confident in The Bedroom

Beautiful Young Girl in a Sexy Lingerie

Although tips on sex toys and techniques are valuable for any person who wants a satisfying sex life, it's advice about feeling sexually confident that proves invaluable to our readers. This is especially true for women, who want learn to compare themselves to other women at an early age!

No matter your height or weight, the amount of experience you have or how in love you might be, you're never impervious to feeling a little anxiety. No one is.

The good news is that it's not a terminal issue. With time, practice and even a little help from your partner, you can raise your confidence inside the bedroom – and this confidence might even spill over to other areas of your life. Keep reading to learn how!

Fake it 'til you make it:

Remember that no one is impervious to criticism. Stripping down in front of another person is vulnerable, no matter who you are. Do you know the secret of people who don't seem so vulnerable? They fake it, at least a little bit!

If you're incredibly uncomfortable, it shows. And it can be a turn-off. So instead of hiding behind the blanket, keeping your clothes on every time or refusing to turn on the lights, try this: take a deep breath, smile, and forge ahead as if you're not as bothered as you are.

One way to do that is to simply visualize yourself as the sexual create you can be – and are! Eventually, you will feel more confident. Plus, your partner will find this confidence a turn on!

Dress the part:

No one feels sexy after a long day at work. If you want to feel more confident, do a little makeup (if you'd like), style your hair and wear something that makes you feel like you just have to be touched. Perhaps it's your partner's t-shirt, a sexy chemise or your favorite bra and panty set. Whatever makes you feel good? Rock it!

Monday, March 28, 2016

Sex Toys Are a Man's Best Friend Too

Muscular young sexy man lies on the bed

There's a common idea that men are all self-satisfied horn dogs who get whatever kind of sex they want because they're guys and that's what they do. While people mean well when they say that, it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Sure, women often get called names for having many sexual partners while men typically get a gentle chiding for the same behavior. Still, quantity and quality are not the same. Men might have sex with more people, but they aren't really allowed to enjoy it.

While there's a lot of attention and time spent educating and teaching women to advocate for their sexual pleasure, we actively discourage men from fully enjoying their sexuality. There's tons of examples of this in our culture, but one the saddest is the stigma against men using sex toys.

While this is fading with time, I really don't think it's moving fast enough. As a former victim of this continuing social plague, it's important for me speak openly about my love of sex toys and all the joys they've brought into my life.

I once believed wanting to try something more than just penetration was a sign of weakness. Now, I'm proud to have a sex toy box to rival my childhood X-Men & Power Ranger action figure collections. The change came gradually with a few restrained attempts at keeping up the facade of stoic masculinity followed by several purchases that changed my mind about the kind of pleasure I was capable of having.

While most of the specific products I bought aren't really sold anymore, the categories have only gotten better. So, let's go over a few sex toys that changed my life and could help step your sex game up, even if it's solo dolo.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Talking About Safer Sex

Woman with Condom Packet in Underwear

How did it go the last time you engaged in sexual activities with a new partner? Was it awkward? Did you discuss condoms and birth control? Did you gloss over the whole thing and wish for the best?

Perhaps you've already dealt with negative repercussions because you didn't take safer sex seriously, or you may be wanting to make sex for the first time go as smoothly as possible. Safer sex is definitely something you need to consider then!

Safer Sex Protects You

Perhaps you don't know how crucial safer sex is. This is especially true for people who had little to no sex education, and the recipients of sex ed that focused on abstinence only. Instead of teaching about how the risks of sex can be minimized, many try to instill a fear of sex. However, this leads to bad sex and actually encourages risky behavior.

There's an even greater lack of guidance when it comes to talking about sex, which can be tricky at the best of times. These talks can remind us of partners who weren't receptive or bring up feelings of guilt surrounding our pleasure, neither of which are productive.

It becomes much easier to talk about safer sex when you stick to big-picture thinking. Sure, talking about it might be a little awkward now. But if you don't have a talk, you could wind up with some consequences that are far worse than a little awkwardness or missing the chance to have sex with someone, including becoming pregnant and having to choose to have a child or abortion.

STIs are another serious risk, and the consequences vary depending upon the infection. For instance, you might wind up with abnormal Pap smear results from HPV and find yourself visiting your provider more frequently. If you're fortunate, you'll have an asymptomatic strain. Less fortunate women have contracted a strain of HPV that lead to cervical cancer and infertility.

HPV and other infections that cause periodic breakouts will limit your sexual activity in the future. You may always have to use condoms, even when you decide to become fluid-bonded with a single partner, or you may have to avoid certain activities entirely during a breakout. Medication, whether temporary or prescribed for life, is a reality for the many people who have had an STI.

This isn't our attempt to slut-shame anyone or to scare you away from sex. Quite the opposite is true. Sex can be pleasurable and a wonderful way to show someone that you care. Through sex, you can learn more about yourself and other people, but there are risks, some of which are quite severe. Being able to talk about safer sex and sexual histories can prevent much of this stress and keep your body healthier, and it doesn't take a lot of effort!

Monday, February 29, 2016

Safety and BDSM Play

Hot Passionate Lovers at Night

BDSM might look extreme and fantastic to those on the outside. For those in the know, however, it's well thought out and every precaution is taken to ensure that a scene is safe for everyone involved. In fact, it's wise not to play with anyone who won't discuss safety in regards to BDSM or prepare for potential negative outcomes!

The first line of safety available to you when engaging in BDSM is the safe word. This is something you can say – or a small but clear action – that lets your partner know when things are becoming too intense or when play must stop immediately. Although it's typically the bottom or sub who uses safe words, it's perfectly fine for a dominant or top to use a safe word to halt play, especially for those who are less experienced.

There's no ideal safe word, but you want something that you can easily remember and say even during intense play. Short safe words are better, but “No” and “Stop” are generally not a good idea, especially if you're experimenting with forced play. Furthermore, avoid a safe word that rhymes with any word you wish to avoid because they could become confused during your scene.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Why Glass Toys Are the Best for Your Anal Play

Icicles No. 46 Glass Massager

If you’re looking for something pleasurable for your collection, glass sex toys are a great all-purpose choice. Still, the combination of anal play and the unique properties of glass toys make them the perfect partners in anal pleasure.

Temperature

One of the greatest attributes of glass toys is their ability to absorb the body's heat and reflect it back. With the rectum's high number of blood vessels, it's one of the warmest parts of our body. Together, it creates a one-of-a-kind sensation that's almost electric. Although it just uses your body's own heat, it feels warmer somehow; it's incredible.

If you're looking for something brisker, glass toys can also be put in cold water or the freezer. This might come in handy after a spanking, but before anal play. It's a great way to do aftercare without having to stop the action. The cold doesn’t last a long time inside someone, but it can give things a shocking start.

Smoothness

The tissues of the rectum and anus are some of the most delicate in the whole body. They're made to transport soft material, not for filling with fingers or other objects. So, those thin, blood rich, nerve-ending packed tissues are only protected by natural lubrication. While lots of other toy materials offer the requisite satin finish, none offer the incredible smoothness of glass toys.

Because glass toys are completely free of pores or pits in the surface, your lube does its job even better. Glass toys seem to glide in and out friction-free, which makes them great for gauging up to larger sizes. With less friction on your anus, you can also enjoy anal pleasure longer without the rubbed raw feeling that can occur with other materials.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Valentine's Day: Sex Toy Gift Giving Tips



Sex toys can be fun to give to your partner any time of the year, but Valentine’s Day is an especially great occasion! However, this can be an incredibly personal gift, and everyone has different preferences and needs when it comes to sex toys that can make it harder to choose the right one. Here are some tips to make that decision a little easier and help you find something your partner will love.

If this would be their first sex toy, keep these things in mind:

For newbies to the world of sex toys, versatility is a particularly important quality - in regard to uses, vibration strengths, and charging methods. More options means more ways they can enjoy the toy!

            Uses: Instead of a vibrator that’s intended for clitoral stimulation only, look for an insertable vibrator which could also be used for clitoral stimulation. Or, try to find a dildo or vibrator that could be used vaginally but can also be used anally or with a harness because of its flared base. Maybe get something waterproof so they’ll have even more chances to use their toy.

            Vibration strength: If your partner hasn’t used a vibrator before, it’s hard to know what kind of vibration they’d prefer. Vibrators with multiple speeds or large ranges of vibration strength present a lot of options and allow the user to find the one that works best for them. LELO’s vibrators are a great choice for this.

            Charging methods: Many vibrators are powered by AA or AAA batteries, but there are also lots of conveniently rechargeable toys to choose from. Some of these rechargeable toys have wall chargers, some have USB chargers, and some have both options. Having both of those options might make using their toy easier and more convenient.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Sex Toy Health and Safety

Group of Sex Toys


A high-quality dildo or vibrator can last you years, perhaps even a lifetime, if you properly care for it. That's a countless number of orgasms – hopefully! But there's a dark side to sex toys that many people never consider in their haste to enjoy a deserved orgasm. This might do no harm, or it could lead to recurring infections and sex toys that melt into one.

What Your Sex Toy's Made of Matters

Some sex toys are simply worse for your health than others! Porous materials – including jelly, PVC, rubber and most real-feel skin type with the exception of dual-density silicone – contain tiny holes that can harbor bacteria well after you've washed them because the holes are smaller than water and soap molecules but large enough for bacteria to find a new home in your sex toys.

This is the one reason why so many people recommend upgrading to nonporous materials such as the following:

  •  Silicone
  • Glass
  • Stainless steel
  • Ceramic
  • Wood
  • ABS plastic


The lack of pores means you can use those sex toys almost indefinitely without worrying about what might be hiding out, just waiting to make its next home your body!

You should never swap toys between orifices or partners if they're made of a porous material, even though they may look clean. This means not using a toy vaginally after it's been used anally until you can sterilize it.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Sex Toy

All sex toys should be washed before and, ideally, after use. This means scrubbing down that new vibrator as soon as you get it out of the package. There's no telling how many hands have handled your new sex toy at the factory – or what type of residue might be left over from the manufacturing process.

Friday, January 15, 2016

The Power of Blindfolds

Naked Man with Blindfold on Eyes


Before I met the man who is now my fiance, I was pretty dang vanilla and scared to do anything new. Luckily, he's a kinky little bastard who gently led me into the wonderful world of BDSM. First among the baby steps to a more experimental me: adding a blindfold to the mix.

In a word, the experience is wonderful. That little piece of fabric makes vanilla taste so much more Neapolitan, even though I'm not the one wearing it. Considering how much I love ice cream, I mean sex, it's no wonder I'm still singing the many praises of the humble-yet-perspective-shifting blindfold years later.

Communication
Before anyone's eyes are covered, there's got to be some communication. Whether you're to be blindfolded or not, a frank conversation about limits and desires is a must. As a result, you'll have better sex overall, get practice talking about what you want, open the door for dirty talk, and let your partner know they can do the same. Even the sluttiest slut wants to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood.

Trust
Sharing your body with someone requires a certain level of comfort. Giving up your vision, orientation with the world, and a great deal of autonomy requires an entirely new level of comfort - some know this as trust. Communication opens you up to the possibility. Still, you won't really know the feeling of letting go, until you experience it first-hand.

You're giving up your main protective sense. You're extremely vulnerable and that brings the possibility to stoke some very uncomfortable long-smoldering feelings. Most often, it's a thrilling ride, but it's important to have that safety net of trust to fall back on. You did talk first, right?