Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Friday, January 15, 2016

The Power of Blindfolds

Naked Man with Blindfold on Eyes

Before I met the man who is now my fiance, I was pretty dang vanilla and scared to do anything new. Luckily, he's a kinky little bastard who gently led me into the wonderful world of BDSM. First among the baby steps to a more experimental me: adding a blindfold to the mix.

In a word, the experience is wonderful. That little piece of fabric makes vanilla taste so much more Neapolitan, even though I'm not the one wearing it. Considering how much I love ice cream, I mean sex, it's no wonder I'm still singing the many praises of the humble-yet-perspective-shifting blindfold years later.

Before anyone's eyes are covered, there's got to be some communication. Whether you're to be blindfolded or not, a frank conversation about limits and desires is a must. As a result, you'll have better sex overall, get practice talking about what you want, open the door for dirty talk, and let your partner know they can do the same. Even the sluttiest slut wants to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood.

Sharing your body with someone requires a certain level of comfort. Giving up your vision, orientation with the world, and a great deal of autonomy requires an entirely new level of comfort - some know this as trust. Communication opens you up to the possibility. Still, you won't really know the feeling of letting go, until you experience it first-hand.

You're giving up your main protective sense. You're extremely vulnerable and that brings the possibility to stoke some very uncomfortable long-smoldering feelings. Most often, it's a thrilling ride, but it's important to have that safety net of trust to fall back on. You did talk first, right?

The Rush
Beneath the blindfold, you are free falling through sizzling nothingness. Without your eyes, your brain frantically reaches out into the world with all your other senses. Everything you experience is amplified and you can't help but pay attention to all of it at once.

Your skin flickers with energy. Your heartbeat is crisp in your ears. You're suddenly aware of every scent floating through your nasal cavity and the natural umami of your saliva. It's intoxicating, even though you're just doing the same things you always do.

In the dark, you've no idea what's just happened, what's going on, or what's up next. No matter how familiar, every sensation is paired with a sharp spark of surprise. With every touch, your heart races and your lungs lose the rhythm of their breath. Each whimper drains your soul, yet you've never felt more alive. The potent mixture of anticipation and fear makes every moment just that much more energetic. 

The Freedom 
Sight is a powerful sense, which easily amplifies your arousal; sadly, it also easily adds to one's anxiety. Even though you consciously know your partner is having fun, it's automatic to read their face just to make sure. Without the option to do so your imagination fills in the blanks with your sweetest dreams, wildest fantasies and bliss-stained hallucinations, no drugs required.

Being the sighted one has a particular freedom as well. Your orgasm face can literally be as ugly as you want without anxiety. You don't realize how freeing that is, until don't have to do it anymore.

Though much of the experience behind the mask is intense, there's also a steady undercurrent of release, stillness and peace. You're blind and there's nothing you can really do except breathe and comply. Some people say they leave their bodies; others simply float within themselves. Wherever you end up, remember to let go and get carried away.

As you use blindfolds more frequently, it'll move from a novelty to a more familiar ritual. While the novelty stage adds excitement, there's just something more complex and yet much easier about it all as a ritual. With experience you master the art of sensory deprivation and with it the art of getting lost in pleasure.

Everyone's experience will vary. Still, whether you're in the dark or taking the lead, a blindfold might be the perfect accessory to stir up your sexual routine.

By: Jerome Stuart Nichols
Follow on Twitter @NotJeromeStuart