Before I met the man who is now my fiance, I was pretty dang
vanilla and scared to do anything new. Luckily, he's a kinky little bastard who
gently led me into the wonderful world of BDSM. First among the baby steps to a
more experimental me: adding a blindfold to the mix.
In a word, the experience is wonderful. That little piece of
fabric makes vanilla taste so much more Neapolitan, even though I'm not the one
wearing it. Considering how much I love ice cream, I mean sex, it's no wonder
I'm still singing the many praises of the humble-yet-perspective-shifting
blindfold years later.
Communication
Before anyone's eyes are covered, there's got to be some
communication. Whether you're to be blindfolded or not, a frank conversation
about limits and desires is a must. As a result, you'll have better sex
overall, get practice talking about what you want, open the door for dirty
talk, and let your partner know they can do the same. Even the sluttiest slut
wants to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood.
Trust
Sharing your body with someone requires a certain level of
comfort. Giving up your vision, orientation with the world, and a great deal of
autonomy requires an entirely new level of comfort - some know this as trust.
Communication opens you up to the possibility. Still, you won't really know the
feeling of letting go, until you experience it first-hand.
You're giving up your main protective sense. You're
extremely vulnerable and that brings the possibility to stoke some very
uncomfortable long-smoldering feelings. Most often, it's a thrilling ride, but
it's important to have that safety net of trust to fall back on. You did talk
first, right?
The Rush
Beneath the blindfold, you are free falling through sizzling
nothingness. Without your eyes, your brain frantically reaches out into the
world with all your other senses. Everything you experience is amplified and
you can't help but pay attention to all of it at once.
Your skin flickers with energy. Your heartbeat is crisp in
your ears. You're suddenly aware of every scent floating through your nasal
cavity and the natural umami of your saliva. It's intoxicating, even though
you're just doing the same things you always do.
Surprise
In the dark, you've no idea what's just happened, what's
going on, or what's up next. No matter how familiar, every sensation is paired
with a sharp spark of surprise. With every touch, your heart races and your
lungs lose the rhythm of their breath. Each whimper drains your soul, yet
you've never felt more alive. The potent mixture of anticipation and fear makes
every moment just that much more energetic.
The Freedom
Sight is a powerful sense, which easily amplifies your
arousal; sadly, it also easily adds to one's anxiety. Even though you
consciously know your partner is having fun, it's automatic to read their face
just to make sure. Without the option to do so your imagination fills in the
blanks with your sweetest dreams, wildest fantasies and bliss-stained hallucinations,
no drugs required.
Being the sighted one has a particular freedom as well. Your
orgasm face can literally be as ugly as you want without anxiety. You don't
realize how freeing that is, until don't have to do it anymore.
Serenity
Though much of the experience behind the mask is intense,
there's also a steady undercurrent of release, stillness and peace. You're
blind and there's nothing you can really do except breathe and comply. Some
people say they leave their bodies; others simply float within themselves.
Wherever you end up, remember to let go and get carried away.
Ritual
As you use blindfolds more frequently, it'll move from a
novelty to a more familiar ritual. While the novelty stage adds excitement,
there's just something more complex and yet much easier about it all as a
ritual. With experience you master the art of sensory deprivation and with it
the art of getting lost in pleasure.
Everyone's experience will vary. Still, whether you're in
the dark or taking the lead, a blindfold might be the perfect accessory to stir
up your sexual routine.
By: Jerome Stuart Nichols
Follow on Twitter @NotJeromeStuart
Follow on Twitter @NotJeromeStuart
