Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Anal Sex Adventures: Pegging Basics

Young Couple During Foreplay


Anal August is not only a good time to learn about all things anal, but to try new things. If you’re not too familiar with pegging, or have never heard of it before, here is a short primer to get you started. There is much to learn so you should just take this as a starting point. I also recommend doing some more extensive reading. There are some fantastic books and videos out there, as well as, helpful websites and podcasts.

Pegging is when a woman engages in anal sex with a man using a harness and a dildo. The name was chosen when Dan Savage asked his sex column readers to vote on a term for this sex act. The practice has been around for a while but has recently seen a surge in popularity. Pegging provides a great deal of pleasure since not only is the rectal area loaded with sensitive nerve endings, but is also an excellent way to stimulate the prostate. Manual stimulation of genitals is made easier with a strap on harness that leaves hands free to roam and explore. Women experience pleasure from pressure as the base of the dildo presses into the pubic area, or internal stimulation if used with a double-ended dildo. Pegging is safe and pain free if you take your time and prepare properly. As with anal sex in general, a generous amount of good lube and a generous amount of patience can lead to a pleasurable experience.

I’m tempted to just start by talking about the proper equipment but if you are brand new to this, or your partner is brand new to this, the most important thing to talk about first is communication. For many this is venturing into unknown territory. If you are the partner interested in introducing this to your partner and neither of you are experienced, finding a way to talk about it is in important. You can try reading a good introductory book together like The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure by Charlie Glickman or The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex by Violet Blue. Watching educational DVDs like Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging, Jessica Drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Anal Play for Men and classic Bend Over Boyfriend with Carol Queen are helpful. There’s even a fantastic podcast by Ruby Ryder called Pegging Paradise that can help start the conversation and teach you a great deal. This is only a short listing of quality resources out there. One thing that is also important to note that strap-on sex and pegging will in no way lead to changing your sexual orientation, straight men can enjoy pegging without needing to define themselves as homosexual. The act and the orientation are separate. It seems obvious to say pegging won’t turn you gay but it still comes up as a common question so it bears mentioning.

Once you are ready to start it is important to pick the right equipment. A trusted local sex shop can help you pick out the right kind of harness for you and the best dildo. If you don’t have a store you can go to or prefer online shopping, most online stores will have a section or search filter for pegging and even a handy guide to picking the products you need. Check out harness reviews if you’re not sure. Harnesses come in a variety of configurations: two-strap and three-strap. The two strap is similar to a G-string while a three strap has straps that go around each thigh. You can also find a harness that comes in a brief style with a cloth body. It helps to find a harness that can fit a variety of dildos so something with a flexible O-ring or comes with a variety of sizes that are interchangeable is preferable. Harnesses also come in different materials, choose one that feel comfortable and can be easily cleaned, something important if you are using it with different partners. The harness should fit comfortably but securely.

Not all dildos work with all harness, it is important to see how dildos fit/attach to your harness and buy the appropriate kind of dildo. Choose a dildo that is body safe, fits your harness and, especially if you are starting out, a size that isn’t too large. A dildo with testicles or one with a wide base will keep it secure in the harness. Dildos with a slight curve help with prostate stimulation. Double ended strapless dildos work well in a harness too. Along with taking care in choosing your dildo, also look into the right kind of personal lubricant. A good lube will make a world of difference. While a good body safe lube should work be careful as silicone can damage silicone toys. The rule of thumb has been no silicone lube with silicone toys but lately it’s been recommended to check, as it’s not always the case. If you don’t want to take a chance then find a good water based lubricant. I would also suggest testing a little bit first on yourself to make sure you don’t have an adverse reaction to the lube. Even a healthy body safe lube can have something in it that you are allergic to. Also, stay away from lube with numbing agents. They often use toxic ingredients and numbing the rectum means you can’t feel what is actually going on. Not feeling anything means you can’t tell if you’re doing any damage that means you won’t stop when you really need to.

Now that you have all the things you need its time to really get things going. Definitely take your time and take it easy. Do things to get yourself relaxed like taking time with some sexy foreplay. You can start with your fingers if your receiving partner is really new at this. Applying lube while getting them used to the sensation. You can even start with smaller toys before slowly inserting with the harness. Try different positions to get the one that works for both of you. Doggie style on hands and knees works or even missionary position. You may have to try a few things if the penetrating partner is much smaller in height than the receiving partner. Choosing a curved dildo and finding the right angle can give you the prostate stimulation you want. Go as far as it feels comfortable and pleasurable. It should never hurt; this is not something where working through the pain is ever recommended. You also don’t have to make it happen on the first try so don’t feel like your first pegging experience is a failure if things don’t work as planned. If you’re worried about possible messiness or difficult clean up, a good wash up before play can help but an enema is not necessary nor recommended. Using a condom on the dildo can help with clean up afterward.

Adding pegging to your repertoire will bring with it many new ways to experience pleasure. Everything from the intense orgasms accompanying prostate play that could also lead to multiple male orgasms, a hint of kink if you add a dominant/submissive edge to it (but not necessary), the erotic fun of switching roles, and playing with sex toys you may never have tried before.

By: Technogeisha
Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha

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