Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Pleasures of Orgasm Control

The girl on the bed take a masturbation

Most people think of achieving orgasm as crossing the finish line. Sometimes the race to the finish line is a quick sprint, sometimes a long marathon, sometimes it’s anywhere in between. The goal is usually to keep going to the finish line, running enthusiastically through, finish line tape fluttering behind us, waving our arms in the ecstasy of the moment, all aglow yet nearly exhausted.

This is either the end of the event or at the very least an extended break before continuing again.

There are others that aren’t rushing for that finish line no matter how long it’s taken to get there. They are slowing down or stopping before the end, sometimes even turning around and running again. In a race, this would seem ridiculous but in sex, delaying the end result can bring on an even more satisfying and enjoyable finish. Extending the time to reach orgasm can make orgasm itself a mind blowing euphoric experience. This is the pleasure of orgasm control.

Orgasm control, also known as edging, peaking or surfing, can be enjoyed by anyone. The goal is not to actually achieve orgasm but maintain the heightened state just before orgasm. This can be reached by providing stimulation in any way that would usually bring you to orgasm but just as you feel it about to peak, stopping stimulation so that you float at the edge then start to feel the stimulation decrease. You can build up, hold off, and decrease over and over again before allowing yourself (or another person allows you in a dominant/submission experience) to orgasm. Whether it’s self-stimulation, having a partner stimulate you, or during penetrative sex, you can try different techniques to halt the on coming storm until you are ready to unleash it. Each time you get close to orgasm you achieve a euphoric state. Repeated trips to the edge of orgasm intensify the experience. It has been said the feeling can seem like entering another state of consciousness.

Orgasm control works by delaying the release so you stay in a heightened state longer. During this time, you are building up the release of hormones and chemicals in your brain. Imagine all that dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins being constantly released. Taking full advantage of this can start with a slow build, really listening and being aware of your body. The road to climax starts with increasing tension in your body. Muscles are tensing up, almost like a spring tightening before reaching its peak then releasing it all at once while sparking contractions and a burst of more brain chemicals. This is a great way to get to know your body. Staying mindful to your reactions, knowing those tell-tale feelings that you are getting closer to orgasm will help you to decide the right moment to pull back. You can simply decrease your manual stimulation or stop abruptly; you can slow down penetration or pull away from each other briefly. Applying pressure to the penis around the shaft where it meets the glans can help stop ejaculation thus helping to prevent orgasm. Each time you start back up you’ll find the increased state of sensitivity will necessitate being even more attuned to your body and to your partner. Eventually, you will either fall over the edge because you can no longer control yourself or just feel like you can't wait any longer. The ensuing orgasm may be prolonged and really intense. Allow for some after care time following this kind of playtime. You may need time to enjoy your extended euphoric state and need more time to recover.

Try several different techniques and see which gives you the results you like best. Orgasm control in solo play can extend the time you spend with yourself and increase the quality of your self-care time. You can use toys or just simple manual stimulation. Perhaps stay away from toys that bring you to climax quickly. Trying to use a Magic Wand Original may make it nearly impossible to stop the orgasm since this can bring it on like a freight train. But if you're the type of person that needs a high level of stimulation just to get there, this may be your tool of choice. Partnered play can use the same techniques. If you want to experiment with some D/s style kink, try tying your partner down or not allowing them to touch themselves then choosing when your partner can achieve orgasm. You can use any style of penetrative sex (strap on, fingering, sex toys, etc.) to slowly work towards climax then use different techniques to slow the process down. Partners may really enjoy getting to know the subtle, and not so subtle, signs that their partner's pleasure is increasing and getting close to the finish. Take the time to pay attention to how their breathing changes, how the muscle tension in their body changes, the changes in their expression. This pre-orgasm study can be some amazing bonding time. Giving them that mind altering experience can be some of the best sex ever.

Orgasm control can also help those with premature ejaculation issues. Listening to your body then stopping before ejaculation can extend the time to ejaculation and also extend the time to orgasm. Keep in mind that ejaculation and orgasm do not always happen simultaneously. You can have orgasm without ejaculation. Orgasm control can take you to new levels of excitement and bonding with your partner and even make masturbation more hot and intense. It’s definitely worth putting it on your sexperimentations bucket list.

By: Technogeisha
Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha