Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Valentine's Day: Sex Toy Gift Giving Tips

Sex toys can be fun to give to your partner any time of the year, but Valentine’s Day is an especially great occasion! However, this can be an incredibly personal gift, and everyone has different preferences and needs when it comes to sex toys that can make it harder to choose the right one. Here are some tips to make that decision a little easier and help you find something your partner will love.

If this would be their first sex toy, keep these things in mind:

For newbies to the world of sex toys, versatility is a particularly important quality - in regard to uses, vibration strengths, and charging methods. More options means more ways they can enjoy the toy!

            Uses: Instead of a vibrator that’s intended for clitoral stimulation only, look for an insertable vibrator which could also be used for clitoral stimulation. Or, try to find a dildo or vibrator that could be used vaginally but can also be used anally or with a harness because of its flared base. Maybe get something waterproof so they’ll have even more chances to use their toy.

            Vibration strength: If your partner hasn’t used a vibrator before, it’s hard to know what kind of vibration they’d prefer. Vibrators with multiple speeds or large ranges of vibration strength present a lot of options and allow the user to find the one that works best for them. LELO’s vibrators are a great choice for this.

            Charging methods: Many vibrators are powered by AA or AAA batteries, but there are also lots of conveniently rechargeable toys to choose from. Some of these rechargeable toys have wall chargers, some have USB chargers, and some have both options. Having both of those options might make using their toy easier and more convenient.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Sex Toy Health and Safety

Group of Sex Toys

A high-quality dildo or vibrator can last you years, perhaps even a lifetime, if you properly care for it. That's a countless number of orgasms – hopefully! But there's a dark side to sex toys that many people never consider in their haste to enjoy a deserved orgasm. This might do no harm, or it could lead to recurring infections and sex toys that melt into one.

What Your Sex Toy's Made of Matters

Some sex toys are simply worse for your health than others! Porous materials – including jelly, PVC, rubber and most real-feel skin type with the exception of dual-density silicone – contain tiny holes that can harbor bacteria well after you've washed them because the holes are smaller than water and soap molecules but large enough for bacteria to find a new home in your sex toys.

This is the one reason why so many people recommend upgrading to nonporous materials such as the following:

  •  Silicone
  • Glass
  • Stainless steel
  • Ceramic
  • Wood
  • ABS plastic

The lack of pores means you can use those sex toys almost indefinitely without worrying about what might be hiding out, just waiting to make its next home your body!

You should never swap toys between orifices or partners if they're made of a porous material, even though they may look clean. This means not using a toy vaginally after it's been used anally until you can sterilize it.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Sex Toy

All sex toys should be washed before and, ideally, after use. This means scrubbing down that new vibrator as soon as you get it out of the package. There's no telling how many hands have handled your new sex toy at the factory – or what type of residue might be left over from the manufacturing process.

Friday, January 15, 2016

The Power of Blindfolds

Naked Man with Blindfold on Eyes

Before I met the man who is now my fiance, I was pretty dang vanilla and scared to do anything new. Luckily, he's a kinky little bastard who gently led me into the wonderful world of BDSM. First among the baby steps to a more experimental me: adding a blindfold to the mix.

In a word, the experience is wonderful. That little piece of fabric makes vanilla taste so much more Neapolitan, even though I'm not the one wearing it. Considering how much I love ice cream, I mean sex, it's no wonder I'm still singing the many praises of the humble-yet-perspective-shifting blindfold years later.

Before anyone's eyes are covered, there's got to be some communication. Whether you're to be blindfolded or not, a frank conversation about limits and desires is a must. As a result, you'll have better sex overall, get practice talking about what you want, open the door for dirty talk, and let your partner know they can do the same. Even the sluttiest slut wants to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood.

Sharing your body with someone requires a certain level of comfort. Giving up your vision, orientation with the world, and a great deal of autonomy requires an entirely new level of comfort - some know this as trust. Communication opens you up to the possibility. Still, you won't really know the feeling of letting go, until you experience it first-hand.

You're giving up your main protective sense. You're extremely vulnerable and that brings the possibility to stoke some very uncomfortable long-smoldering feelings. Most often, it's a thrilling ride, but it's important to have that safety net of trust to fall back on. You did talk first, right?

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Anal Sex Adventures: Pegging Basics

Young Couple During Foreplay

Anal August is not only a good time to learn about all things anal, but to try new things. If you’re not too familiar with pegging, or have never heard of it before, here is a short primer to get you started. There is much to learn so you should just take this as a starting point. I also recommend doing some more extensive reading. There are some fantastic books and videos out there, as well as, helpful websites and podcasts.

Pegging is when a woman engages in anal sex with a man using a harness and a dildo. The name was chosen when Dan Savage asked his sex column readers to vote on a term for this sex act. The practice has been around for a while but has recently seen a surge in popularity. Pegging provides a great deal of pleasure since not only is the rectal area loaded with sensitive nerve endings, but is also an excellent way to stimulate the prostate. Manual stimulation of genitals is made easier with a strap on harness that leaves hands free to roam and explore. Women experience pleasure from pressure as the base of the dildo presses into the pubic area, or internal stimulation if used with a double-ended dildo. Pegging is safe and pain free if you take your time and prepare properly. As with anal sex in general, a generous amount of good lube and a generous amount of patience can lead to a pleasurable experience.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Sex Talk with jessica drake

Join Wicked Pictures Exclusive performer and director of the award-winning instructional series "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex" as she teaches you the ins and outs of better sex. Enrich your love life with the help of this exciting and informative workshop offering a candid look at how men and women really feel about oral sex. 

We'll discuss basic anatomy, tips, techniques, and orgasms, PLUS after class there will be a candid Q&A for all of your unanswered questions. Following the workshop, jessica will sign autographs and take pictures. Bring your partner and an open mind as you join us for Sex Talk with Wicked's very own Sexpert jessica drake

Admission is free but seating will be limited.

Friday October 2, 2015 7-9 PM
2925 Carpenter Road
Ann Arbor, MI

Saturday October 3, 2015 2-4 PM
6858 Telegraph Road
Dearborn, MI  

RSVP at 

Follow jessica drake on twitter @thejessicadrake

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Pleasures of Orgasm Control

The girl on the bed take a masturbation

Most people think of achieving orgasm as crossing the finish line. Sometimes the race to the finish line is a quick sprint, sometimes a long marathon, sometimes it’s anywhere in between. The goal is usually to keep going to the finish line, running enthusiastically through, finish line tape fluttering behind us, waving our arms in the ecstasy of the moment, all aglow yet nearly exhausted.

This is either the end of the event or at the very least an extended break before continuing again.

There are others that aren’t rushing for that finish line no matter how long it’s taken to get there. They are slowing down or stopping before the end, sometimes even turning around and running again. In a race, this would seem ridiculous but in sex, delaying the end result can bring on an even more satisfying and enjoyable finish. Extending the time to reach orgasm can make orgasm itself a mind blowing euphoric experience. This is the pleasure of orgasm control.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Electro Sex – The Art of Electro Stimulation

Zeus Deluxe Edition Twilight Violet Wand Kit

Erotic electro stimulation, electro-stim for short, is a form of sensation play used often in BDSM play but can be used for any kind of sexy time play. Electro-stim uses static electricity to stimulate the nerves in a way that can be soft and tingly to strong and stingy. Toys like the stronger Violet Wand to the soft fingertip pads of the Hello Touch X can be used against the skin for a pleasurable effect. The static discharge can be an amazing sensual experience, especially when focused on the genitals. Electro stimulation has a non-sexual physical therapy use but has also become a long time favorite for erotic stimulation too. It can feel everywhere from a mild static shock that just above a tickle to an intense zap depending on a several variables.

Early Electro-Stim Use

Since Luigi Galvani first showed how electrical current applied to a dead frog made its legs move in the 18th century, we’ve been developing forms of electronic stimulation. It wasn’t until the 1950’s that this kind of stimulation became more commonplace. At this time the first EMS (electrical muscle stimulation) units were developed like the Relaxacisor, which was used as a passive form of exercise. Of course the Relaxacisor became a pervertable when it was discovered that placing the contacts on certain parts of the body was sexually stimulating. The EMS works by stimulating muscles to contract and is not used much erotically today. The 1970’s brought us the TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) unit. It was used medically to stimulate nerves as a form of pain therapy. Units made specifically for erotic use were developed in the 90’s and remain popular. TENS units are comprised of a box that regulates the current and pads that are placed on the skin allowing the current to pass between the pads. Nowadays you can even get specific toys for your TENS unit like dildos, butt plugs and other sexy accessories.