Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Thursday, June 4, 2015

Electro Sex – The Art of Electro Stimulation

Zeus Deluxe Edition Twilight Violet Wand Kit



Erotic electro stimulation, electro-stim for short, is a form of sensation play used often in BDSM play but can be used for any kind of sexy time play. Electro-stim uses static electricity to stimulate the nerves in a way that can be soft and tingly to strong and stingy. Toys like the stronger Violet Wand to the soft fingertip pads of the Hello Touch X can be used against the skin for a pleasurable effect. The static discharge can be an amazing sensual experience, especially when focused on the genitals. Electro stimulation has a non-sexual physical therapy use but has also become a long time favorite for erotic stimulation too. It can feel everywhere from a mild static shock that just above a tickle to an intense zap depending on a several variables.

Early Electro-Stim Use

Since Luigi Galvani first showed how electrical current applied to a dead frog made its legs move in the 18th century, we’ve been developing forms of electronic stimulation. It wasn’t until the 1950’s that this kind of stimulation became more commonplace. At this time the first EMS (electrical muscle stimulation) units were developed like the Relaxacisor, which was used as a passive form of exercise. Of course the Relaxacisor became a pervertable when it was discovered that placing the contacts on certain parts of the body was sexually stimulating. The EMS works by stimulating muscles to contract and is not used much erotically today. The 1970’s brought us the TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) unit. It was used medically to stimulate nerves as a form of pain therapy. Units made specifically for erotic use were developed in the 90’s and remain popular. TENS units are comprised of a box that regulates the current and pads that are placed on the skin allowing the current to pass between the pads. Nowadays you can even get specific toys for your TENS unit like dildos, butt plugs and other sexy accessories.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Masturbation Tips for Women

Sexy young woman dressed in lingerie

May is the time where we focus on this amazing thing we all do called masturbation. One on one sexy time with yourself can do so much more for you than ever imagined. It can help your overall health such as regulating blood pressure, boosting your mood and bolstering your immune system. Taking time to explore yourself more closely can give you a better understanding of your body during sex. So loosen those shackles of shame that have hovered over self-pleasuring since time unmemorable. Here are some tips to get the most out of solo time.

Set the mood

Sometimes it not enough to just flop down on a bed and rub one out. Sometimes you need to set the mood. It’s like a date with yourself. Put out candles and put on sexy music, whatever you feel will put you in the mood. Make sure the room is comfortable and you will have private uninterrupted time, this can be a challenge if you’re a mom. Have everything you need close at hand like lube, toys, etc. You can get into the mood by watching some porn. Maybe even try a new genre you’ve never watched before. Take out some erotica and not only read it to yourself but try to read it out loud. Or take some time to check out some of the amazing photos available online. You’re imagination can help with the sexy feelings by fantasizing about some really hot steamy scenes. Have some mental role play with your favorite celebrity or hottie you’ve been thinking about.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Masturbation Tips for Men

Young Sexy Man on a Bed

Masturbation May is the perfect time to explore the art of self-pleasuring in ways you never have before. Masturbation has hidden health benefits. It not only feels good but it helps improve sexual performance, can improve your overall mood, can boost your immunity, help to prevent prostate cancer and even help with premature ejaculation issues. Unfortunately society has tried to attach shame to masturbation and many have grown up hearing lots of myths to discourage it. Many have not even looked into this healthy way of exploring your sexuality fully. Even long time fans are stuck in a rut, sticking to the same routine. Here are some tips to make the most of solo playtime.

Get To Know Your Body

Rather than rush to your usual go-to routine, try to explore other areas of your body. The penis consists of the shaft and it’s bulbous cap called the glans. Areas sensitive to touch aren’t just the shaft and glans in general. The frenulum, the area that connects the foreskin to the coronal ridge of the glans, is dense with sensitive nerve endings. There’s also your testicles, the area between your testicles and your anus called the perineum, and the anus which is also rich in nerve endings and is the best way to reach the prostate, or p-spot, for stimulation. You also have nipples that are sensitive to touch and temperature. Nipple play is not just people equipped with breasts; all nipples feel good when touched so try to include some time with them. Experimenting and getting to know your body more intimately might help you to discover new ways of pleasuring yourself.

Don’t Just Hit It and Quit it


A common routine is to just bang one out, a quick full hand yank that barrels toward orgasm. Delaying orgasm can lead to a more intense and longer orgasm experience. The kink community calls this “edging” or orgasm control and is basically a stop-and-start method. Bring yourself right up to the edge of ejaculation and then stop. Take enough of a break to stay turned on, maybe have your erection soften a bit, then start all over again. Doing this a couple of times before you let yourself orgasm will lead to more powerful orgasms. The start stop method can also help with longevity. Discovering ways to control your responses could help with early ejaculation issues too. You may find longer more fulfilling sexual experiences once you’ve worked on controlling and elongating your response time.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Consent Is Not Just Sexy, It’s Mandatory.

There are lots of important things to talk about during Sexual Assault Awareness Month every April. Each year’s campaign puts a spotlight on issues like preventing sexual assault on campus, healthy adolescent sexuality and child sexual abuse prevention. One subject that comes up often is teaching and understanding the importance of consent. We need to get past the victim blaming/slut shaming techniques used in the past. Telling women they were “asking for it” because of the clothing they were wearing, or being flirtatious, being intoxicated, or even just walking alone at night is no longer acceptable. This takes the responsibility away from the perpetrators. Teaching consent starts with learning how to say no and receive a no, how to say yes, how to have a conversation about what you want, how a person’s way of expressing themselves with their clothes is not inviting you to violate them, and learning that we are not ever entitled sex… ever. It’s a long row to hoe (no slut shaming here!) but even the campaign telling us that consent is sexy fell a little short. Consent can be sexy, but it can also be difficult and awkward. No matter how it happens, consent is mandatory.

What is Consent?

The definition of consent, according to Merriam Webster, is “to give assent or approval.” Unfortunately, that approval has for a long time been somewhat fuzzy in its definition. Consent needs to be given in an honest, sober and willing manner. While Yes always means Yes, the absence of a No does not mean Yes. It’s more than just a Yes, too. Consent is about a mutually agreed upon expression of desire that includes the discussion of boundaries along with these desires. Consent isn’t a maybe, maybe is always a no. What you need to look for is enthusiastic consent, not an “I don’t know.” “I’m not sure.” or “I guess so.” When looking for enthusiastic consent also look at body language. Are they turning away, folding their arms around their body, stiffening up, or being unresponsive? Then stop what you are doing and check in with your partner. Consent is not being freely given so either this person changed their mind or was not an enthusiastic yes to begin with.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Intimate Grooming Tips: From Brazilians to Manscaping

woman lowers her panties and shows waxed pubic area

Intimate grooming, specifically the removal of pubic hair, has many levels from the untouched natural to completely bare. Lots of people are happy to leave things as is. Many others want to neaten things up, shape, or outright remove what’s there. Whether you go for a simple bikini or want to try a full Brazilian with perhaps some vajazzling, here are some tips to do it safely and with minimal discomfort.

Shaving

You can start by picking a razor for intimate areas. They will have pivoting blades and moisturizing strips to protect the skin. You can even get personal groomers, electric trimmers, designed specifically for this area. Shaving does not last as long as waxing and can leave cuts and micro tears afterward. It is easy to do at home and has less discomfort than waxing. First trim the area so hair is not too long. Shower or soak first to soften hair. Do not use water that is too hot as it can irritate the skin, especially after shaving. Use a moisturizing shaving cream or foam instead of soap. This will provide more protection against irritation. You want to minimize the chance of razor burn. Men can use these same shaving techniques if they are looking to trim their pubic hair or even shave their testicles, as some men want to do.

Hold skin taught. Shave in the direction the hair grows and try not to go over the area too many times. The bikini area is sensitive (where your legs meet your pelvis and the outer labia) and you need to take even greater care once you get to the vulva. A Brazilian, where all or most of the pubic hair is removed, can be a challenge to remove. Aftercare is important too. Be kind to that area of your body at first and avoid overly tight clothing that doesn’t breathe. This can trigger ingrown hairs or encourage the growth of bacteria. Once the shaved skin has calmed, do a light exfoliation with a washcloth or soft brush to keep pores open and prevent ingrown hairs. You may find your skin is more sensitive when shaving during your period.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Sex Toys Go High-Tech

Fun Factory at ANME Expo

New technology has become an ever more popular subject when it comes to sex toys. Even Wired magazine is doing a Sex in the Digital Age issue this March. This year started with a few significant conferences when it comes to new products and technology. ANME (Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo), AVN Novelty Expo and CES (Consumers Electronics Show) each had a show in January of this year and each showcased new toys and tech. It may be hard to believe but there are people working all year long to create the best new sex toy. In some ways this may seem like reinventing the wheel, but advances in technology, and some incredible imaginations, have produced some interesting new sex toys. Some of these toys are updated versions of product already on the market but some are brand spankin’ new. Let’s take a look at what’s new and improved this year.

The HELLO Touch by Jimmyjane certainly wasn’t the first fingertip vibrator, or the first with multiple tips. It first appeared on the market in 2013 as the smallest fingertip vibrator ever invented. Dual pads are linked by a cord to a wristband powerpack with controls. It’s designed for both internal and external stimulation. This year they brought out the HELLO Touch X, which adds electro-stim, actually electrostatic stimulation, along with vibration. Electronic stimulation is when mild electric current is applied to the body with pleasurable results. With the HELLO Touch X you can swap out the vibrating pad for electro-stim pads. I’m sure this is much milder than a violet wand but could be a low-key way to introduce electro-stim to your playtime.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Flirtatious Flirting Tips

Low section view of a businessman and a businesswoman flirting in an office

It may be that time of year where we’re focusing on being coupled and all the cuddly, lovey, sexy that comes with it but learning ways to flirt is helpful whether you’re still searching for or already in a relationship. Flirting is defined as: to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously. Flirting can be fun but most of the time it’s a subtle way to let someone know you’re interested in them. In a society that doesn’t allow us to be upfront and straightforward about attraction, especially sexual attraction, we use gestures, words, movements and other forms of body language that are like a code to tell people we’re hot for them. This subtle, or sometimes not so subtle, body language is helpful in public situations where coming right out and saying you’re interested is either difficult or terrifying. You can use these tips to get the attention of that person you’ve been eyeing all night. Flirting can be used in established relationships to reconnect with your partner, let them know you still find them attractive and that they still make you hot.

Breaking The Ice


The first step towards successful flirting is actually doing something. Social interaction doesn’t come easy to everyone and initiating contact with someone you are attracted to can make it feel daunting. Finding an easy way to begin conversation could be as simple as brushing past them then stopping to talk or making eye contact then approaching. Close proximity or eye contact can also make you open to being approached. Find something about the event, location or situation that can start casual conversation. Or if you are so attracted you’re scared out of your mind, you can try to approach someone else with them in a friendly way that then lends itself to contact with your intended flirtation target. Most importantly just try to relax. Confidence is what’s sexy and research has shown that people who gave signals that they were open to being approached, available and confident almost always found people attracted to them.