Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Thursday, January 3, 2019

Sexy Roleplay Scenarios with the Woman in Charge

sexy womans buttocks in underwears with a whip standing in front of handsome guy. BDSM concept

While sexual role playing scenarios often put the man in charge, there are many women who desire a more dominant role. Whether you switch from time to time or always feel the call of dominating your partner, the following situations put you in charge of the situation and let you feel as powerful and sexy as you really are!

1. Librarian and Patron


You might appreciate this if you're a bookworm. The sexy librarian trope is one that's easy to adopt with some heels and a pair of glasses, and you can have fun making sure your partner is quiet (even as you give him or her plenty of things that make this difficult to do), always puts books back where they belong, and returns materials before they've overdue. The role play scenes practically write themselves.

2. Owner/Trainer and Pet


Many kinksters are aware of just how sexy pet play can be. There are pony, cat, and dog boys and girls, among other species. You'll find plenty of costumes, tails, and other accessories to go along with these scenes as you train your pet to do exactly what you'd like. However, you don't need to spend a lot of money to enjoy this occasional role play scenario that puts you in charge.

3. Nurse and Patient


These roles work well if your idea of dominance is to take care of your submissive. Under the guise of nurse, you'll bathe your “patient,” fluff his pillows and perhaps even feed him. Have you ever noticed that traction is essentially a form of bondage? If you're into medical play, there are tons of accessories you can add to your scene. Plus, you can take even more control by promoting yourself to doctor.

4. Police Officer and Criminal


Imagine this: you're in police uniform and trying to prevent would-be criminals. You have cuffs and maybe a club to keep the world in line. Your partner has attempted to thwart the law and perhaps even succeeded, but now that you've caught him or her, it's up to you arrest them, read them their rights, and lock them in a cell. You might be lenient if they perform sexual favors.. or not.

A similar role play scenario can be detective/interrogator and suspect.

5. Personal Trainer and Client


Just like in real life, playing the role of the personal trainer lets you watch your partner as they flex muscles and work up a sweat. You get to tell your partner what they're doing right, but discipline but the wrong format can be particularly sexy. Plus, certain setups are ideal for bondage. Avoid actual weights or machinery that might be dangerous when you're in the throes of passion; although, a weightlifting bench might be a useful prop.

5. Boss and Assistant


While most people would have a woman playing the submissive secretary, you can easily turn the tables on this even going so far as to wear a suit and tie. Your assistant has a ton of duties to complete including pleasing you sexually, and he or she won't like to see you when those deadlines are missed. This scenario is fun because your “assistant” can stimulate you under a desk, lean over it while you mete out punishment, and you can enjoy sweeping the contents off a desktop before you appease your unrelenting lust.

6. Cougar and Cub


You might not know that the nickname given to a younger man who has sex with an older woman is a cub, even if you've called yourself a cougar a time or two in the past. Not only is this a fun role play scenario, but it's one you can actually live out if you like your partners a little younger. As an older and more experienced woman, you can teach your adoring partner a few tricks and feel absolutely desired. You can vary this one as the older woman next door who is taking a young adult's virginity if you prefer.

7. Teacher and Student


What's a strict teacher going to do when her student isn't listening or hasn't turned in homework on time? Perhaps a rap on the knuckles with a ruler will do it. Or wearing a dunce cap while standing in the corner could be an effective punishment. But if you want to make it a little naughtier, that ruler might become a spanking implement. And if your student is the naughty one, then it might be up to you to make sure they keep their hands to themselves!

8. Kidnapper and Hostage


There's no denying you're in control when you've kidnapped someone and are holding them hostage. There's no need to delve into exactly why you've done what you've done (unless you want to), but you have your hostage tied up and perhaps blindfolded. You control their every sense. Perhaps you threaten them with a (fake) weapon. Instead of money, you demand that your hostage makes you orgasm. Perhaps a little Stockholm syndrome could come into play.

Of course, you can decide what to include or omit in your role playing scene if there's a particular element that's too weird, unappetizing or difficult to believe. But trying on these roles allows women to take control and exercise authority while their partners must obey orders or face the consequences.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Friday, December 21, 2018

The Lowdown on Flavored Lube

Ice-cream, lips and tongue

Have you heard about all the different kinds of lube? There’s water-based and silicone-based and oil-based and hybrid and thick and thin and toy-compatible and condom-compatible and the list goes on and on. There’s a different lube suited for every purpose, and everyone has their preferences. When it comes to lube for oral sex however, flavored lube might be your best bet.

While all lubes are perfectly fine for oral consumption, they might not taste great. That’s where a good flavored lube comes in. Perusing the lube section of any sex toy store reveals heaps of flavored products like cotton candy hand job gel, oral sex “Tingle Drops”, and edible massage candles and oils. Lots of people use these products, too. Some folks find the taste of genitals unappealing and use something tastier to cover up that flavor. Some use it to aid their dry mouths and make oral sex more slippery and pleasurable. Others simply find candy-flavored bits to be a fun experience.

The problem with flavored lube is that it can upset the balance of yeast or bacteria in the vagina. Every vagina has it’s own little healthy world of perfectly balanced bacteria and yeast cells. If something were to upset that balance, such as introduction of a lubricant, semen, or douching, some of that bacteria or yeast may become overactive and cause an infection. Yeast infections (where the yeast cells overgrow), and Bacterial Vaginosis (BV for short, when bacteria become overactive), are incredibly common. In fact, most women will experience at least one of these in their lifetime.

BV is triggered by a change in the pH of the vagina, and yeast infections are often triggered by an increase in what those yeast cells eat, sugars. Anything you introduce to the vagina, such as the lubricant, semen, or douching, can cause either of these uncomfortable issues. However, flavored lube is especially risky because it contains more sweeteners than its flavorless counterpart. Glycerine, for example, is what makes many lubricants slippery. However, it’s actually a type of sugar and can therefore trigger yeast infections.

But fear not, this doesn’t mean you can never use a flavored lubricant. You may just need to pay close attention to what kind of lube you use and how your body reacts when you use it. When choosing a flavored lubricant, look for something with a short ingredients list, and avoid glycerine if you can. Usually, this will mean a more expensive purchase, but it’s still cheaper than a trip to the doctor to clear up an infection. Wicked, for example, has a short ingredients list (although it does contain glycerine) and has flavors like salted caramel and pink lemonade, while JO Naturalove is strawberry-flavored glycerine-free goodness (and it’s organic too!). Some brands even offer Sample packs, which allow you to try a couple flavors before buying a whole bottle.

When using a flavored lubricant, there are some things you can do to reduce your chances of an infection. First, using a flavored lubricant on a penis is usually fine. While penises can also get yeast infections, it’s far less common. If that penis is going into a vagina afterwards, however, you may want to use some precautions. For example, you could rinse off the lube before having intercourse, you could cover up with a condom (hooray for bonus STI protection!), or you could use a flavored condom for oral sex and switch condoms for vaginal sex. For oral sex on a vulva or anus (yes, yeast infections can develop there, too!), dental dams are a great tool to allow the giver to experience the flavor without the receiver coming in contact with the lube. Of course, as with any sex act, peeing after sex can help reduce chances of infections, especially those of the urinary tract.

After you play with a flavored lube, pay close attention to how your body reacts. If you experience any burning, redness, or swelling in your genitals, or pain or burning when you pee or during sex, it is most likely a sign your body didn’t react well to the lube. If you experience an unusual white discharge from your vagina, you may be experiencing a yeast infection. If that discharge smells “fishy”, it may be BV. Both of these infections are incredibly common and can be treated by a clinician, so refrain from sex and get yourself to a doctor.

If your body does respond with an infection, remember that there’s nothing shameful about it. Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but contrary to popular assumptions, it doesn’t mean that your vagina is “dirty”. Some sensitive bodies get them often, some get them once or twice, and some don’t get them at all. Some folks will be able to use a flavored lube with no problems, some will be able to use one but not another, and some won’t be able to use any at all. It’s up to you to be mindful of what lube you use and how you use it, so you can best take care of your body.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Why Sex Hurts

Couple lying in bed under sheets
Painful sex, also known as dyspareunia, is unfortunately common especially when you consider how simple some of the solutions can be. If you experience pain or discomfort when you have sex, it might be due to one of the reasons below.

You're Not Using Lube


Although some people view lube as something that you shouldn't need because a person should be turned on enough to self-lubricate, this is actually the wrong way to look at it. A person's natural lubrication varies such as with their menstrual cycle, and some vaginas never lubricate that much. Plus, medicine (anti-histamines, birth control, SSRI used to treat anxiety or depression, and insomnia medication can all contribute to vaginal dryness), and certain health conditions can interfere with your body's ability to self-lubricate.

When it comes to anal sex, you should always use lube because the anus isn't able to self-lubricate.

Almost everyone will benefit from using lube. Even if it sex doesn't necessarily hurt, lube can make it more comfortable and allow you to have sex for longer. Don't just think that using lube helps the receiving partner, either. Trying to penetrate an orifice that isn't properly lubricated can be quite uncomfortable, too!

You're Not Turned On


Although this plays into the previous point because being more turned on equals more self-lubrication, there's more at work here. Aside from lubrication, being properly aroused leads to ballooning of the vagina, which makes more room for penetration by a partner's penis, fingers, or even a toy.

The solution to this one is simple, fortunately. Spend more time on core activities such as making out, manual stimulation, oral sex, or whatever it is that gets you really turned on. That way, you'll be ready for penetration.

There's Cervical Contact


While a few women do like when a toy or their partner's penis comes in contact with their cervix – the body part that separates your vagina from your uterus – this isn't the case for most people. Try positions that change the angle of penetration or prevent deep penetration from happening.

Remember that making contact with your cervix The position and texture of your cervix changes during your cycle. Around ovulation (approximately two weeks before your period if you have a 28-day cycle), your cervix will be higher and softer, potentially making it more difficult to touch during sex and reducing pain if you do. However, during and after your period, your cervix will typically be low and hard, and this may lead to more pain during sex.

You Have an STI 


Pain during sex could be a symptom of a sexually transmitted infection such as herpes, which causes sores. Those sores are incredibly infectious, so you should avoid being sexually active during any outbreaks. If you've noticed sores due to painful sex, it's time to talk to your doctor about treatment options.

Of course, herpes isn't the only STI that can make sex painful for you. Gonorrhea, herpes, genital warts, chlamydia, syphilis, and trichomoniasis can all put the kibosh on a good time.

...Or Another Infection


Sometimes another infection could be the culprit causing all your painful sex. It might not necessarily be transmitted sexually; although, sex could be a reason why you experience infections so frequently. Urination tract infections, bacterial infections – also known as bacterial vaginosis – and even yeast infections can become quite uncomfortable. Fortunately, you can resolve these infections fairly easily with either a trip to your doctor's office or your local pharmacy department.

There's an Underlying Medical Issue


A visit from your doctor can help determine if one of the following medical issues/conditions are why it hurts to have sex.


  • Vaginismus: Involuntary contractions of the vagina that make penetration painful or even impossible. Mindfulness practices and the use of dilators can help with this condition.
  • Paraphimosis: Happens when the foreskin is trapped behind the head of the penis so that it cannot be pulled forward.
  • Phimosis: Is foreskin too tight to move.
  • Psoriasis: A skin condition that produces red, scaly patches.
  • Menopause: Causes changing hormones that can lead to vaginal dryness as well as atrophying of vaginal tissues due to a drop of hormones. Estrogen supplements can treat the symptoms of menopause.
  • Prostatitis: An inflamed prostate.
  • Vulvodynia: A condition marked by unexplained pain in and around a vulva.
  • Imperforate or Microperforate Hymen: A normal hymen only partially covers the vagina opening and stretches to accommodate tampons, toys, or penises. An imperforate hymen completely blocks the vaginal opening, making sex or using tampons impossible. A microperforate hymen allows room for a small opening but not one big enough for comfortable penetration.

Other conditions can cause deep pelvic pain. Cervical fibroids, endometriosis, and pelvic inflammatory disease are several such conditions.

You're Allergic to Condoms or Lube


It's possible to be allergic to condoms, specifically the latex from which they are made. Burning and other discomfort during sex might be a sign that you have a latex allergy. You can opt for polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms instead of latex, however.

Lube allergies and sensitivities also exist. It could be due to an ingredient in the lube such as glycerin. Or you might be reacting to a heating or cooling lube. It's always a good idea to test lube on your inner thigh before using it during sex just in case. Some lubes and sensitizing creams contain l'arginine, which can irritate herpes and possibly make sex painful.

Other Reasons Sex Hurts



  • The angle is wrong, so your partner's penis feels more pokey than pleasurable. Or your penis is being bent at an angle that's pressing on the suspensory ligament. Beware that this ligament can fracture! A simple change of sex position can fix this – and it's fun to boot!
  • You're being too rough. Even if you're using lube, rough sex can be painful. Some people even like this pain. Keep in mind that rough sex or sex without lube can cause microtears, especially in the vagina or anus, and this can make you more susceptible to infections and STIs.


Although sex is occasionally painful, especially for women, there's no reason why it should cause you discomfort some or even all of the time. Whether you take a bit of time to find the perfect lube or condoms for you or to add more foreplay or you talk to your doctor, you can have more comfortable sex and discover how pleasurable sex can be!

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r


Monday, December 3, 2018

How to Give a Sex Toy As a Gift

Woman choosing sex handcuffs and mask

Birthdays, bachelor parties, divorces. What do these events have in common? They're all occurrences where it might be appropriate to give someone a sex toy. However, vibrators, dildos, and other sexy extras are not always the right choice for a gift. Here's what you need to know if you're considering giving a sex toy to someone.

Know Your Recipient


If your potential receiver is quite closed off about sex or even publicly prudish, then a sex toy is a bad idea – even as a gag. Furthermore, if you don't know your intended receiver well enough to know where they stand on the subject of sex toys, then you don't know them well enough to buy them a sex toy!

For this reason, buying a sex toy for your significant other doesn't usually present an issue. And you might also feel comfortable purchasing a sex toy or accessory for a good friend or even a sibling. Regardless of your level of closeness, if you're unsure how well this present will go over, you can hint at the gift and pay close attention to their reaction.

Buying a sex toy is such a personal endeavor. Do you prefer clitoral, nipple, vaginal, anus, penile, or some other type of stimulation? What about vibrations: should they be buzzy or deep? Is a rechargeable vibrator better or one that uses batteries more convenient? Do you prefer a plug-in wand that has Earth-shaking vibrations?

I say this not to dissuade you from buying someone a sex toy as a gift but to remind you to think of the recipient whose preference may differ from yours. You might prefer external stimulation or a dildo as thick as your arm, but not everyone does.

Finally, don't buy a present for your significant other that's actually a gift for you. While it might be fun to try something new in the bedroom, it's kinder to give them a gift that will enhance their own pleasure specifically.

Mind the Audience


If you give the bride-to-be a vibrator at her bridal shower, you might wind up offending her grandmother or future mother-in-law. The same gift might go over much better at a bachelor party. On the other hand, a friend who might be perfectly fine receiving a sex toy as a gift in private but might feel embarrassed to open such a present in the presence of others.

Don't Skimp


You can find sex toys available in a wide range of prices. While you might be tempted to buy something on the cheaper end, this could be a mistake especially if you're looking at rock-bottom prices on Amazon. The toy might be more likely to break or have its motor die at an inopportune moment. Furthermore, it could be made of a material that's no body-safe and could cause a reaction or even an infection (it's best to stick to plastic, glass, silicone, metal, or wood, all of which are body-safe).

The Internet is a great place to find reviews on toys if you're unsure. You can also check out sex toy reviewer's blogs to see what toys they like – and what they don't like.

Think Versatile


When you're shopping for someone whose preferences are well-known, you might opt for a particular toy such as a butt plug. However, if you're not sure or if your recipient is unfamiliar with sex toys, you might be better off buying something that can be more versatile.

For example, some G-spot toys can also be used for anal play. And many insertable vibrators can just as easily be used to stimulate the clitoris or nipples. If you buy something too specific and the person you're shopping for realizes they don't like that sort of stimulation, then they may simply have a sex toy that collects dust. But if you give them something that can be used in a variety of ways, it's easier for them to find a use for the toy.

Remember the Warranty


Some sex toys come with warranties, which is a nice option when you're buying for a friend. If something should happen to the toy, your friend may be able to get a replacement. Brands that offer a warranty include:

Lelo
Bodywand
Blush
We-Vibe
Screaming O
CalExotics
BS Atelier
B-vibe
Evolved

Not every product may include a warranty, so make sure to investigate before you make your purchase.

Other manufacturers may offer warranties as well.

When In Doubt, Consider a Gift Card


While a gift card doesn't necessarily scream “personal,” it does come with a few perks. First, your recipient can buy whatever they want and at their own pace. If it's a card to an online retailer, they can shop from the privacy of their own home; otherwise, they can get their hands on the toy in store to see if they really like the size, shape, texture, and material. If they plan to use the toy with someone, say a spouse, the pair can shop together and find something that meets their needs as a couple. They might also find this activity quite sexy.

Don't Expect a Full Report


Just because you're close enough to someone to buy them a sex toy that will be accepted gratefully and used happily doesn't mean you should expect a detailed report about its use. It might simply not be the right toy for your recipient, or they may realize they're not comfortable using toys. While you might inquire whether they've enjoyed their gift, you definitely shouldn't press, and you should accept whatever answer they give you.

Of course, if this wasn't the toy for them and they're looking for advice to buy something a little more fitting, you can always offer our opinion!

The more you know about your intended recipient, the better the odds that you can buy them a sex toy that will be both appreciated and effective. A little research can prevent strain on your relationship and avoid embarrassing your friend.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Why Millennials Have Less Sex Than Older Generations

Intimate games in bed, passionate lovers

The millennial is full of articles about how hookup culture has taken the world by storm and young people are engaging in more casual sex and less likely to get married than generations that came before. If you believed all these posts, you'd think that people born between 1980 and 2000 are the most sex-up fiends ever. Yet, research finds that millennials are actually having less sex than other generations. How can this be?

Why Don't Millennials Have More Sex?


You might come up with a few of your own theories about why millennials are having less sex than their parents. Perhaps you think that it's because they have to work two jobs just to keep a roof over their head or spend more time watching porn and having solo sex than engaging with partners. Both of those things may very well be true, but researchers have investigated those factors, and the findings might surprise you. First, they've looked into hours worked and found that people who work more don't necessarily have less sex than other people. In fact, they may be having more sex. Secondly, at least one study has found that people who watch porn are actually having more sex, not less!

So if it's not porn or long workdays, why aren't millennials hopping in the sack more, especially if those two theories actually suggest that an increase in porn and sex should be linked to? There is one trend among millennials that could explain why they're having less sex than their older counterparts: marriage.

Millennials are getting married less frequently than their parents and grandparents, and they're waiting longer to do it. Studies in the past have shown that married people have more sex than single people, so this could be a significant factor in millennials' low rate of getting it on. A steady partner provides more opportunity to have sex.

Another not-so-surprising factor? Medication, specifically that intended to treat mental health issues. SSRIs, which are typically taken as a treatment for depression, have a well-known side effect: lowering libido. And millennials are prescribed medication for depression more than any other generation. So while they're working to be happy and healthy, their sex drives might be taking a hit.

The Internet has also been blamed for millennials having less sex than other generations, despite apps like Tinder and Grindr that fuel so-called “hookup culture.” While these apps may make it easier for people who are looking for sex to find it, the sheer number of devices at our sides at any given time provide plenty of distraction. Where millennials are watching TV, playing video games, or scrolling through endless Facebook feeds, Baby Boomers had little access to such entertainment and distraction. They didn't have a TV in every room of the house so that they could binge hours of TV on end. Sex it was.

This suggestion could be supported by data. One 2017 survey published in Archives of Sexual Behavior looked at how often Americans of any age were having sex. Compared to the 1990s, the 2010s were less sexually active. Researchers specifically found that people were having sex nine fewer times per year. While this might not seem like much, it adds up over the years. Remember that we're talking averages here, which means while some people may not be having less sex than they were twenty years ago, some people are having significantly less sex!

Some people might find this news alarming, especially if they feel like they're already having less sex than they want. Does this mean that people won't be having sex at all in another twenty years? While we're certainly hesitant to make such bold claims, there is are lessons to be learned after looking at these numbers.

How to Keep Your Sex Life Active


If you want to avoid being another statistic, here are a few things you can do.


  • Choose a partner who is sexually compatible. If you both prioritize sex as a significant element of your relationship and enjoy the same sexual activities, there's a greater chance that you'll remain sexually active – and satisfied!
  • Make sex a priority. Recognize that it won't “just happen.” Sometimes there needs to be effort. Plan date nights and examine your schedule to determine when sex works best. For some people, the sex-before-bed routine means they never have sex because they're always too tired. A quickie at lunch or roll in the hay before morning might be the better option to ensure you have sex.
  • Minimize distractions in the bedroom. This means leaving your phone and tablet on the kitchen counter, not putting a TV in your bedroom, or at least scheduling device-free time so that you can connect with your partner. Even if it doesn't lead to sex, this time is beneficial for your relationship.
  • Learn about your desire and what triggers it. Create an atmosphere full of those triggers so you'll want to have sex and not just find yourself wishing you had more sex but never being in the mood.
  • Talk to your partner about sex – outside the bedroom. Get into the habit of discussing what worked, what didn't work, and what you'd like to try together. Be game to make the fantasies of your partner(s) come true, as much as you can at least. 
  • Explore sexually. New activities, locations, and even partners can be quite arousing because of the novelty. Try new sex toys, bondage, talking dirty in bed, or sending sexy texts while one or both of you are at work. Avoiding routine means you're excited for all the sex you'll be having instead of putting it off. 
  • Take care of your health. Eat well, exercises, and get enough sleep. Good health, in general, is conducive for a better sex life. Pay attention to sexual side effects of any medication you might take. Keep up with pelvic and prostate exams. And if you do notice any changes, talk to your doctor immediately. Do not be afraid to talk to your doctor about any sexual concerns. She has heard them all – and more. 

The fact that millennials are having less sex than previous generations might sound alarming, but it's just a sign that things are changing. Remember that plenty of people are having lots of sex, and you can be one of those people as long as you make sex a priority.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

Friday, November 16, 2018

Where Can I Learn More About Sex?

Physically Fit Man Using Laptop at home

If you’re scrolling through this blog here at Cirilla's, you might be interested in learning more about sex. Perhaps you’re curious about a certain sex act or kink or relationship style. Maybe you want to learn more about what sex toys are especially good or what constitutes sex toy safety. However, all this information can sometimes be difficult to find. Any sex-related words searched through google may come up with pornographic material, and while perhaps that may be exactly what you’re looking for, it also might not be. Fear not, for there are so many resources out there to gather wonderful, detailed, accurate information about sexuality. Here are just a few to help you continue your own sex education journey.

Websites

Possibly the easiest way to educate yourself, websites are one of my favorite forms of resource, and the world wide web certainly has a whole lot of sites out there. Although Scarleteen may be targeted to teenagers, it has buckets of information perfect for folks of any age. Bedsider has an interactive birth control method comparison tool that is perfect for figuring out what form of contraceptive might be perfect for you. Of course, Planned Parenthood is always an amazing resources for curiosity about sex, relationships, and sexual health care.

Blogs

In today’s modern day and age, blogs are becoming an increasingly popular resource for information on sex, kink, sex toys, and personal stories. I’m going to slip a shameless self-promotion in here for my own blog, Squeaky Bedsprings, but also check out the ever-popular sex toy critics Hey Epiphora, Dangerous Lilly, and The Big Gay Review, sex and disability focused Chronic Sex, or sexy storyteller Girl On The Net.

Books

There are so many wonderful sex education books for adults available about everything from oral sex tips to navigating open relationships to detailed rope bondage instructions. Books like Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon and Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski can instruct you in the magic of female pleasure, while The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy is a great intro to non-monogamy.

Podcasts

If reading isn’t your thing, podcasts are a great way to learn while doing something as mundane as driving to work. Laugh along to The Dildorks, a pun-saturated podcast on “sex, dating, and masturbating”, discover a host of sex topics with American Sex Podcast, or learn about why people are into that with Why Are People Into That?! . Interested in polyamory? Try Polyweekly!

Youtube 

Youtube is great if you’re a visual sort of person. Most sex-ed youtube videos are short (between five and ten minutes) snippets of easily digestible knowledge on specific topics. Sexplanations has hundreds of videos on so many topics and approaches them in a positive, judgment-free way, and purple-haired Erika Lynae has a whole channel for her sex toy reviews. Hannah Witton has a channel about general sex topics, and regularly collaborates with other youtubers.

Workshops

For an in-person, potentially interactive experience, try attending a workshop! Some sex shops offer classes through the stores themselves. These are classes hosted by the store and taught by a sex educator, usually for a low price of $5-20. Some are hands-on. I’ve heard of blowjob workshops where an individual gets a sanitized, unused dildo to practice on while the educator gives instructions. Workshops also give you the chance to ask an educator your questions, so think about what you want to know before you go.

Private coaching 

Of course, showing up in public to a sex workshop may not be everyone’s cup of tea. For shy folks, or those who may need a little more help, many sex educators offer private coaching via skype where you can ask your questions and gain knowledge tailored just for you. These resources can be great for those overcoming sexual shame or anxiety.

No matter your preference for educational medium, sex education shouldn’t stop at your gym teacher’s horrendously awkward screening of a woman giving birth. Check out some of these resources and gain some new sexy knowledge. Happy learning!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

No-Shave November: Prostate Health Awareness

Prostate Cancer Awareness, Man hand holding light Blue Ribbon with mustache for supporting people living and illness. Men Healthcare and World cancer day concept


Look around you during the month of November and you may see some men with mustaches that most certainly weren’t there before. “No-Shave November” or “Movember” as the month is affectionately called is dedicated to raising awareness for men’s health issues, especially prostate and testicular cancers, mental health, and suicide. These topics are often taboo for men to talk about, and the organizations behind the campaigns work hard to fund research and promote awareness of these often undiscussed issues, oftentimes in the form of encouraging men to grow out their mustaches to spark conversation.

Most men have a prostate, so one of these men’s health issues is prostate health. The prostate is a small walnut-sized gland nestled between the bladder, the rectum, and the internal base of the penis. It is responsible for making prostatic fluid, which, upon ejaculation, mixes with sperm to provide the cells with food and an ideal environment.

The prostate continues to grow as men age, and in many men this can cause problems. With a larger prostate pressing on the urethra (the tube that channels urine out of the body) or bladder, urination becomes more frequent and more difficult. Nearly all men over 50 experience this, and it can also cause difficulties in getting and maintaining an erection. If you or someone you love is experiencing these issues, talk to or encourage them to talk to their doctor.

Although enlarged prostates and infections are more benign prostate issues, prostate cancer is the main concern. Prostate cancer is the most common form of cancer among men, and 1 in 41 die from the disease. It is recommended, then, for anyone with a prostate to start talking to their doctor about screenings after the age of 50, and 45 if there is a family history of prostate cancer. The most common screening is a blood test for prostate-specific antigen, or PSA, a protein produced by the prostate. A high PSA may indicate presence of an enlarged prostate or cancer, and can then be followed by further tests.

The good news is that besides getting regularly screened and paying attention (and possibly eating a tablespoon of ground flaxseeds per day), there’s another much more fun way to care for a prostate, and that’s through prostate massage. Although medical research has yet to confirm it, anecdotal evidence shows that regular prostate massage may improve prostate health, prevent and help heal infection, and possibly even prevent cancer.

To massage a prostate, lube up a finger or toy and insert it into the rectum. Use a toy with a curve to more effectively target the prostate, or curve your finger towards the navel and feel around for a walnut-shaped bump that can be felt through the wall of the rectum. Use a back and forth or up and down motion, move in circles, and experiment with what feels good. Some popular toys are even designed to be used hands-free for solo play. Your efforts may cause fluid (pre-ejaculate) to drain out of the body through the urethra, which doctors think may help cleanse the prostate.

The purpose of No-Shave-November is to get people talking about men’s health issues, so maybe it’s time to do just that. That doesn’t have to mean bringing up the benefits of prostate massage at the Thanksgiving dinner table (that might be awkward!), but it could mean asking your partner if he’s talked to his doctor about a PSA test, or if his family has any history of cancer. Perhaps you could even join the crowd of folks embracing No-shave November and grow out your very own mustache!

By: Sammi
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