Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Thursday, August 17, 2017

Butts and Beaches and Bathing Suits, Oh My!: How Masturbation Can Help You Love Your Body

Four beautiful African American Bikini girls on the beach.

“Swimsuit Season” is upon us, and while some are thrilled to shed their clothes and show some skin, others dread the pool, beach, or lake, fearing what others will think of them for their body size. While there isn’t an overnight fix to overcome years of negative feelings about your body, there are some small steps that can help, and one of these unconventional tricks requires nothing more than your hand.

Feeling positive about your body is extremely difficult in a society filled with magazines emblazoned with the word “DIET” residing in every checkout line, the exact same body type on every movie screen, and jokes in which a larger bodied person is the punchline. Nearly every day we are told we are not attractive enough. Combating that takes work.

No matter one’s size or shape, everyone deserves to feel good about their body, and there are so many ways to do so: wearing clothes you love, exercising the way you like to, or practicing positive self-talk in the mirror. All of these are great options, and everyone will have a different preference for their source of good-feels. However, there might be another practice you haven’t yet thought of, and that’s masturbation.

From a physical and biological approach, masturbation simply feels good. Pleasure and orgasms cause chemicals called endorphins to be released in the brain, and these little hormones cause feelings of happiness and relaxation. Orgasms also cause muscles to relax, and encourage blood circulation throughout the body. For these physical reasons, masturbation (and sex in general!) is great for stress relief, helping to release physical and mental tension.

Masturbation is a great distraction from stress, and can also be an intentional moment of mindfulness. The goal of mindfulness, a practice often used in managing anxiety and stress, is to build the habit of focusing on the present moment instead of worrying about the past or what’s to come. Masturbating is an excellent way of bringing your attention away from worries and into your body, enjoying the pleasure at hand.

Pleasuring yourself is also just that, giving yourself pleasure. If having sex with someone is called “making love”, then masturbation could be akin to making love to yourself. Your body deserves to feel good. People have sex with one another because they’re attracted to one another, so why should sex with yourself be any different?

Just like sex has the potential to connect two people, masturbation can connect you with your own self. Both having control over and getting to know your body can give you a boost of confidence. Through self-pleasure, you learn what your body likes and how to make it feel good. Although it may seem like a stretch, feeling good in your body (Pleasure and orgasms!) can totally translate to feeling good about your body (Confidence and self-love!).


Masturbation may be often viewed as nothing more than a naughty secret act, but if you’re reading this little article on a sex toy store’s blog, than you may know that experiencing pleasure is neither naughty, nor does it need to be secretive. It has so many physical and mental health benefits, and using masturbation  to accept and appreciate your body is just one of it’s many perks. So get down to some self-lovin’ and lovin’ yourself.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Three Firework-Worthy Strokers to Spark Pleasure


Playful male hand in pants.

Independence day has come and gone. Perhaps you’ve chowed down on classics like burgers and watermelon or gone swimming with family and friends. Chances are, you probably watched some fireworks. These splashes of light were probably all sorts of sizes, shapes, sounds, and colors, right? Well guess what? So are strokers.

Strokers are tube-like toys that stimulate the penis by mimicking any hole you would normally put a penis in, whether that’s a mouth, vagina, or anus. Inside the tube is often a pattern of squishy ridges or bumps designed to give the user extra pleasure. Any stroker has the potential to feel great, but these three are especially interesting. These unique strokers will have you seeing fireworks of your own!

Tenga Egg


A Tenga Egg is one of the cheapest options out there in the stroker world. Inside the plastic egg is a small masturbation sleeve. There’s no fancy case, and all you need to operate it is your hand. These toys are one of my favorites because unlike traditional hard-cased strokers, you can exactly control how tight the sleeve fits around the penis just by squeezing your hand to your regular masturbation or handjob strength. The eggs come in many different textures, from swirls to waves, and while technically single-use, you can definitely get a few uses out of it with proper cleaning. They’re also incredibly easy to hide, just don’t leave them out around Easter time if you have kids!

Fleshlight Quickshot


Another one of my personal favorites, the Fleshlight Quickshot offers something most strokers don’t. It’s about a quarter of the size of a conventional masturbator, which makes this great for at least two things. Firstly, it permits what I like to call “super-powered blowjobs”. Have your partner hold the Quickshot in their hand, moving it up and down the shaft while they use their mouth on the tip! This may get a whole lot of lube in their mouth, so try something tasty like Wicked Aqua Flavored Lubricant (It comes in flavors like pomegranate and salted caramel). The Quickshot is also great for those with more sensitive tips. This stroker can more easily be focused on the shaft, leaving the head of the penis free if overstimulated.

Hot Octopuss Pulse III Solo and Duo


Possibly the most unique toy in this list, the Pulse III is a vibrator for your penis. The Pulse can be placed on your penis whether it is flaccid or erect, which makes it a great helping hand for those that may struggle with erections. The solo is operated via the toy itself, but the duo comes with a remote for play with a partner. As cool as this toy is, penises can be picky with vibrations. Some people absolutely love them, and can even have a hands-free orgasm simply by placing the Pulse on their peen and cranking up the vibrations. However, some might find a toy like this unexciting and unarousing. All bodies are different and will respond differently to the Pulse. After all, part of what makes sex toys so exciting (besides pleasure, that is) is trying new things!

With all of these toys, you’ll want a water-based lube to keep things nice and slick. Toys for penises are often overlooked, but these ones are sure to light up your night.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Monday, August 7, 2017

Four Sex Toys to Heat Up (Or Cool Down) Your Summer

Attractive anonymous couple on a date, summer love concept

It’s official. Summer has arrived, and so has the heat that comes with it. While some of us thrive in sticky humidity and scorching sun, others turn into sweaty grumpy blobs. I think many people would agree that ninety-something degree days aren’t exactly a time where they feel most sexy, but fear not. Here to end those steamy days with some even steamier nights are four sex toys perfect for summer. Whether you’re planning on lounging by the beach or hiding inside with the air conditioner blasting, one of these toys may just be the perfect fit for you!

Wicked Ultra Chill Lubricant


This slip and slide is for adults only! Perfect for cooling off on hot summer days, Wicked Ultra Chill lube is specially formulated to cause a cooling sensation wherever applied. It’s silicone formula has only a few simple ingredients, and includes menthol for it’s namesake chill. Lube is great for all sorts of sexy activities, whether you’re using hands, a penis, or a toy. In my humble opinion, a lube that tingles like this one does could be regarded as a sex toy on it’s own. Try putting it in the refrigerator for some extra shivers!


Pipedream Icicles No. 46 Glass Massager


If cooling lube isn’t enough to beat the heat, try temperature play! Glass (and metal) toys hold temperatures wonderfully, making cooling down or heating up your sex life as easy as pouring yourself a glass of water. Try putting this prostate massager in cold water for a bit before insertion (never put in the freezer; you don’t want frostbite down there) to cool things down. Alternatively, soak your glass or metal toy in warm (never hot!) water to add some heat.

We-Vibe Tango


For vacations both near and far, pack a punch with a small, travel-friendly vibrator like the We-Vibe Tango. This isn’t one of the most popular small vibrators for nothing. It’s incredibly strong for it’s size, rechargeable, and waterproof (so it’s perfect for a relaxing bath or shower!). Small and lipstick-shaped, it’s a wonderfully discreet toy perfect for stowing away in your purse, carry-on, or suitcase.

Bonus tip: To avoid sex toys turning on during travel, pack in appropriately sized boxes. The We-Vibe Tango easily fits in a glasses case or even a pill bottle.


BS Atelier Oben Silicone Anal Dildo


Planning a stay-at-home vacation this year? No problem! With BS Atelier’s Oben dildo, you can bring the beach to you. These colors remind me of either the sand meeting the waves, or a fancy poolside beverage. Either way, the blue and yellow gradient creates a beautiful, tropical toy. The Oben comes in three sizes, all of which are perfect if trying out anal play is on your summer bucket list. It’s made of body-safe silicone too, which makes cleaning a (summer) breeze.

No matter your summer plans, trying out new things is a great way to spend such a lovely season, and these toys are perfect ways to do that. Summer vacation may be designed for the kids, but that doesn’t mean adults can’t play too!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Sex Talk with jessica drake

Sex Talk with jessica drake

Join Wicked Pictures Exclusive performer and director of the award-winning instructional series "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex" as she teaches you the ins and outs of better sex. Enrich your love life with the help of this exciting and informative workshop. 

This informative workshop will cover basic anatomy, tips, techniques, and orgasms, PLUS after class there will be a candid Q&A for all of your unanswered questions. Following the workshop, jessica will sign autographs and take pictures. Bring your partner and an open mind as you join us for Sex Talk with Wicked's very own Sexpert jessica drake

Admission is free but seating will be limited.

Thursday September 28, 2017 7 PM
Cirilla's
24940 Lorain Road
North Olmsted, OH

Friday September 29, 2017 7 PM
Cirilla's
2925 Carpenter Road
Ann Arbor, MI 

RSVP at facebook.com/Cirillas/events 

Follow jessica drake on twitter @thejessicadrake

Thursday, July 13, 2017

When to Replace Sex Toys

Sex toys
You can now buy sex toys are your corner pharmacy, which means that more people than ever own a vibrator, dildo or butt plug (and some of us own quite a few of each!). Of course, few things last forever. Glass breaks, motors die, and softened plastics lose their integrity. What are the signs that a toy has provided its last pleasure and that you need a new one? Find out!


Not All Materials Are Equal


Jelly toys are porous, to begin with, which means you can never quite clean them all the way. Aside from not sharing your jelly you, you'll want to replace it (potentially with a body-safe sex toy) more frequently than nonporous toys. The porousness means that infections could potential infest your toy, so you'll want to replace those toys as soon as you realize you have a bacterial, yeast or sexually-transmitted infection just to be on the safe side. Needless to say, you want to ditch any toys that cause a reaction or infection because those toys are not compatible with your body!

Similarly, you shouldn't use porous toys vaginally after anal insertion. Not everyone knows this, however, so you may have used a toy that couldn't be sterilized in both orifices. As soon as you realize this fact, however, you'll want to get new toys for vaginal use (although, you could keep the toy for anal use).

Eventually, however, porous toys will often become stained or pick up smells that you can no longer remove no matter how diligently you clean those toys. This is, again, related to the toy's porosity.

Toys made from jelly and similar materials will eventually start leaching the chemicals that are used to produce a soft texture. They'll become oily and quite unappetizing if we're being honest. When jelly toys are stored together, they can become misshapen, fused together, and discolored during this process. At first sign of this leaching, you should toss your toy and not risk your health by using it any longer.

Although sometimes billed as safer than jelly/latex/PVC, TPE is another material that is softened with a chemical – mineral oil – and toys made from TPE will experience a similar effect over time. TPR is a similar substance that will suffer the same fate.

Chemical leaching over time and porosity isn't an issue with all soft sex toys, however. Silicone is a stable material that has no pores, allowing you to fully sterilize your toys (without motors or seams). In fact, you can even light silicone on fire safely (you'll need to wipe away some soot, but it won't damage your toy!).

The softest of silicones may leach a bit of silicone over time, but this is comparable to silicone-based lube and doesn't make the toy less safe to use. Harder silicones won't suffer this fate (nor do you need to worry about a reaction when storing your silicone sex toys close together), and you could feasibly keep a silicone sex toy for your entire life!

There is one exception, however. If you use silicone-based lube with your toys of the same material, a reaction will occur. The surface of the toy will become gummy. If you notice this, assume your toy is no longer nonporous and consider replacing it (and being more careful with lube in the future!).

Toys from inert materials including metal, glass, plastic, ceramic and treated wood could potentially provide a lifelong relationship. You could even will your favorite stainless steel dildo to someone upon your passing! Short of breaking your toy, you can keep them forever. This is why so many sex toy reviewers and bloggers recommend upgrading from your unsafe jelly toys, which have a limited lifespan, to body-safe materials.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Three Reasons Why Yes/No/Maybe Lists Rule

Couple wearing underware in sexual foreplay

Recently here on Cirilla’s Bedroom Insider we’ve been chatting about how to talk about sex with a partner. We’ve written about how to communicate before, during, and after sex, but I saved my absolute favorite tip for its very own post. In my opinion, yes/no/maybe lists are the bee’s knees. Also known as a want/will/won’t list, a yes/no/maybe list is a chart of sex acts you create to communicate which sex acts you’re thrilled about (the “yes” or “want”), which ones you might be willing to try (the “will” or “maybe”), and which ones you’d rather stay away from (the “no” or “won’t”). This handy guide will by no means be the end-all be-all of your sexual adventures, but it’s a great place to start and build conversations. Here are a few reasons why these handy-dandy things rule, and some tips on how to create your own!


Yes/no/maybe lists give you a chance to reflect upon your own sexuality.


A yes/no/maybe list starts with thinking about your own sexual habits. What do you like? What do you hate? Considering how you would categorize your favorite and not-so-favorite sexual activities is a great opportunity for some self-reflection. To sort through the multitude of sex acts and get inspiration for things to go on your chart, try peeking at Lindsey Doe’s video of a list of sex acts. You can also watch porn or read erotica to get ideas, and perhaps even peruse some sex toys for inspiration. Whatever you do, take some time to imagine yourself in these situations. You just might find yourself turned on by something you never would have thought of!

They spark conversations about sex and consent.


Yes/no/maybe lists are easy ways to get the ball rolling in giving and receiving consent. These lists aren't set in stone, however. What’s written on the paper may not reflect how you or your partner is feeling at any time, so although using a bondage set might be in the “yes” category, that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to tie or be tied every single time you have sex. Yes/no/maybe lists are great for creating dialogue and negotiations around what type of sex might be on the menu for the day. Just ask!


They give you your own homemade reference list to spice up your sex life.


“Hey, remember all these cool things that you can do with your bodies?”- Your yes/no/maybe list when you get bored of your usual sex routine. When once fiery passions turn into the same-old humdrum pattern, turn to your handy dandy list to rediscover other activities you might like to try. You might have to shift some sex acts from column to column, but you’re bound to find something new, or even uncover something you used to do that just doesn’t happen enough anymore.

Remember, your yes/no/maybe list is just a starting point for a conversation, and with time and experience, wants, wills, and won’ts may change! For more resources and information on yes/no/maybe lists, check out Lindsey Doe’s video and list of sex acts, a cool worksheet-style list, a kinky list, or check out Bex Talks Sex’s beautifully detailed blog post. Happy communicating!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Three New High-End Sex Toys We're Dying to Try



Masturbation is different for everyone. While some people use masturbation to quickly and frantically orgasm ASAP, touching oneself can also be a special time for others. It’s a chance to let go of worries and spend some time getting to know and love your body. Luckily, these toys should be great for both these sorts of folks (or anyone in between!), and man do they feel fancy. All of them are pricey at over $100, rechargeable and made with silicone so your bits stay safe. These toys are like caviar for your clitoris, prosecco for your penis, or truffles for your tush. They’ve just been released within the past few months, and everyone is dying to get their hands on them.


The b-Vibe Triplet 

b-Vibe first became popular for their Rimming plug, and then came out with the Trio and the Novice. The Triplet is their latest edition to the lineup, and these vibrating anal beads are cool for so many reasons. First of all, it has two motors; one in the bottom and one in the middle portion. These bumps are a classic anal bead shape, with the largest bead at the bottom (1.2”), and smallest at the top (.8”). If you’ve ever wanted a partner to make your butt vibrate with the push of a button, now is your chance because this baby is operated via remote control. Even if you’re not handing it over to a partner, how fab is it to not have to reach down to change the settings?

The We-Vibe Wish 

Squishy, soft, and sweet are three words to describe this adorable vibrator. Meant for buzzing against external body parts like the clitoris or penis, the We-Vibe Wish is a palm sized toy perfect for broad stimulation, but with the added bonus of a small tip for more precise action. It features a “PowerPulse” Technology that delivers a pulsing sensation different from any other toy on the market. Described as “waves of pleasure”, the tech sure sounds fun to us! Like the Triplet, you can hand over the controls to a partner either in your bedroom or across the world via the We-Connect app. Use a pre-programmed pattern, create your own custom settings, or tap the screen to control the vibes. The choice is yours.

Le Wand 

Everything about this vibrator feels luxurious: the shape, the colors (grey and pearl white), the simple yet elegant buttons. Heck, even the name sounds fancy. The Le Wand massager is a powerful thing, rumored to be wonderfully rumbly with ten vibrations strengths and twenty patterns. Unlike many wand vibrators, this one has a flexible neck perfect for getting just the right angle. Continuing the theme of luxury, the Le Wand comes with a handy little travel case, as well as a neat head cover patterned with a different texture for a different kind of pleasure.

So if you’ve been hankering to treat your body to some fancy new toys, check out the Triplet, Wish, or Le Wand. It only takes some imagination to close your eyes and picture yourself lounging on silk sheets pressing these toys into or against your pampered body. Lay back, relax, and enjoy your fanciest wank yet.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs