Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Fifty Shades of Play - Toys from the Erotic Trilogy

Dominating Beauty in Handcuffs

With the premiere of Fifty Shades of Grey the movie only a few weeks away, many people are feeling inspired to find ways to create their very own red room. With quick tips, some purchases, and an open mind, you’ll be on your way to living the life of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Here is a selection of toys to consider, straight from the pages of the books, and into your hands.

Blindfold

Nothing adds to erotic mystery like a blindfold. These can be lacy and sheer or totally opaque. It is up to you to decide how much you want your partner to be able to see. With one of your partners senses dulled, the remaining ones will be on high alert, waiting for your touch. A great way to experience a power exchange.

Restraints

From silk neck ties to handcuffs, restraints can be a key component to relinquishing control to your partner. Maybe even try reversing the roles to add to the spice. Be sure to be able to release your partner with ease otherwise adverse happenings may follow. You don’t want to end up using a saw to cut your headboard and carry it to the nearest locksmith.

The Bullet Vibrator

This is one of my favorite sex toys. Think of it as the gateway toy to sexual exploration. It is versatile, discrete, and very inexpensive. It is the perfect toy for clitoral stimulation and to use in any kinky situation you can imagine. *Pro tip – While the sky is the limit, do not use this for anal play as most varieties do not have a flared base. Your night may turn into fifty shades of red as you sit in the ER waiting to get it removed if it gets lost.

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Fetishes – Variety is the Spice of Life

Sexy Brunette Woman Laying on Floor

January 16th is International Fetish Day. This originated in the UK but went international a year later. While it may not be a well-known event, it’s a great time to talk about the word “fetish” and its somewhat clouded meaning. Words like “kink,” “fetish,” and “paraphilia” are all variations of similar ideas. Let’s look at their definitions and some examples. This article won’t provide a definitive explanation since the concept of “fetish” is continually evolving in the way it’s regarded in the medical and legal fields. The goal is to give you a greater understanding of the wide variety of fetishes out there, how they are practiced and experienced. Hopefully it will help you to understand that everyday ordinary people can have some interesting desires and still be healthy ordinary people.

Fetish is a word used for lots of things but the true definition is rarely known. The word first saw its use in the late 19th century. Merriam-Webster defines fetish as a need or desire for an object, body part or activity for sexual excitement. It goes on to describe fetish as an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. A fetish can be for a form, a media, an animate object or a combination of thereof. It can be a kink but not all things we consider a fetish or kink is absolutely necessary for sexual gratification. For some a little bit of bondage, spanking, flogging or humiliation can add some fun to sexy time but not necessary for sex to be satisfying. If you need any of these items, or any of a wide range of other things, then you may have a fetish. If your fetish is leaning towards the extreme, meaning you can’t attain any sexual satisfaction at all other than from your fetish or to attain your fetish it requires dangerous or illegal action it is considered paraphilia.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Sex Toy Storage Solutions

Sexy Couple Lying in Bed

We’ve made it past Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Diwali, New Years and quite possibly even Three Kings Day. If you’re extra lucky you celebrated a birthday, anniversary or other gift-giving event at the same time. You also may have been extra naughty and nice to get an awesome sex toy as a gift or maybe you treated yourself to one. This is usually the time when after holiday storage is front and center on store circulars and in the seasonal aisle. It’s the perfect time of year to think about better sex toy storage solutions. Either you need some way to keep your sex toy stash in order or need some way to hide your collection from eyes. There are many ways to handle sex toy storage.

Pre-storage Protection

Ideally you should start by making sure each of your toys has it’s own cover or box. Unfortunately not every toy comes with a nice case or bag to store your toy afterward. Even a high-grade silicone toy can often just come in a plain plastic container that’s not conducive to storage afterward. Rather than just piling up your toys or letting them roll around unprotected, put each toy in a fabric bag, case or even the original container if it’s feasible. Take into account the material your toy is made out of and whether it needs batteries. You want to make sure that your toys are kept free of dirt and dust. You can find a nice selection of silky sex toy bags like Sugar Sak online. If you’re crafty you can even make your own. Chose something soft and silky that won’t leave lint on your toys nor scratch them in any way. Smaller storage containers can also help you keep instructions, chargers and cables with your toys. Some of you may still have toys that will react badly if they touch each other like plastic or jelly toys. You want to make sure they are covered so they don’t come in contact with other toys. Even a plastic ziplock style bag can help. Choose something that will protect the toy from getting dirty and collecting lint then store in a cool, dry place. Take batteries out of toys before storing and it’s always a good idea to fully charge your rechargables before you store them so they can be ready to use when you need them again. Always make sure your toys are clean and dry before returning them to storage.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Sexy Time Strategies for the Holidays

Sexy Female Santa Seduces Man on Christmas

From Thanksgiving to New Years, we’re on an ever-speeding treadmill of events and obligations. We’re cooking, cleaning, shopping and spending more time with family and friends than at any other time of the year. The combination of stress and lack of free time makes it hard to even feel sexy much want to get sexy with anyone. We also eat and drink more than usual while having less time alone. It’s during this season that we need time to reconnect and take advantage of the great stress release and over all good cheer we get from sex. Don’t worry, these tips won’t get you on the naughty list but they might make both your and your partner’s spirits bright during the holidays.

One of the hardest things to do during the holidays is finding time to be sexy. The trick is to make time to be sexy. Even the smallest moments can make a difference. You can block out time to be together either early on a holiday morning before the rest of the house has awakened or scheduling a sexy break during the day or making time with an evening date. If you have to put it on a calendar or shopping list then make it so! Better to have sex on your to-do list than on your wish list. Set a reminder on your phone for a lunchtime lovemaking break or even just some sexy time alone after the kids have gone to bed. If you have kids get a sitter or, better yet, find someone who can take the kids for a little while. Put the grocery list aside and the shopping list away. Just focus on each other. Turning off all the problem solving, dinner menu planning and holiday logistics for even a short time is essential if you’re going to fully enjoy being with each other. It’ll all be there when you’re done and the release of hormones will combat stress and the revitalized feeling should help you go back to all that work with renewed vigor.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Prostate Health


Every November you’ll see men sporting mustaches in support of men’s health awareness called Movember. One of the important issues they often bring up is prostate health. Overall health and wellness affects your sexual health and wellness. In men, prostate health can be a major factor in their sex lives. As they get older the prostate can enlarge giving rise to a number of heath problems. These health problems can then cause issues that become sexual health problems. Let’s learn more about the prostate, where it is and how it works, and how it affects sexual health. Also, what can we do it improve prostate health.

What It Is and How It Works


The prostate is a gland found in male-bodied individuals. It’s located below the bladder, in front of the rectum, and surrounds the urethra. The urethra is the tube that carries urine from the bladder so the location of the prostate factors into certain health conditions. The gland is about the size of a walnut. It creates fluid that supports and nourishes sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate squeezes fluid through the urethra and the expelled fluid mixes with sperm coming from the testicles via the vasa differentia and seminal vesicle fluid to become semen. The prostate functions are regulated by testosterones. The milky white alkaline fluid, which houses the sperm, helps to neutralize the acidity of the vaginal track. It helps to prolong the life of the sperm and protect the genetic material they contain.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

A Guide to Erotica

Passionate Loving Couple

I’ve covered recommended non-fiction books on sexuality but there’s another genre that can also help your sex life, Erotica. Erotica, literature intended to arouse sexual desire, has been around for a long time. Humans have enjoyed reading and writing about sex in a variety of ways with a myriad of themes. It’s a way to explore fantasies by using the theater of the mind. Evidence of erotica dates back to ancient Greece and Rome. Today, erotica has been gaining momentum in mainstream acceptance and popularity. There is so much out there, though, that it can be hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, or if chaff is your thing to find the one that appeals to you. Here are some recommendations of authors and genres, from the dawn of erotica to modern times, to help guide you in your quest for some delicious erotica

Classic Erotica

From the time humans began communicating with written text they seem to be writing about explicit sexual adventures. Early examples only exist in fragments but you can start with a 15th century erotic tale like The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio. This book contains 100 tales of seven women and three men hiding in a villa outside Florence during the Black Death. The 16th century brought us The Heptameron by Margueritte De Navarre is a collection of erotic takes inspired by The Decameron. The 18th Century had a number of erotic novels; Fanny Hill – A Memoir of a Woman of Pleasure by John Cleland, Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert and Justine or The Misadventures of Virtue by Marquis De Sade. The 19th century gave us The Autobiography of a Flea by Anonymous, a story told from the viewpoint of a flea, The Romance of Lust by Anonymous which is four volumes about a young man’s sexual adventures, and Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoc who’s name was used to coin the phrase masochism.

20th Century Erotica


The 20th century managed to release the grip of the conservative and buttoned up Victorian era enabling readers to find more erotica than ever before. Early novels like D.H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterly’s Lover published in the late 20’s, Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller from the mid ‘30’s, Story of O by Pauline Reage, from the mid 50s’, Emmanuelle by Emmanuelle Arasan, in the late ‘60’s, Fear of Flying by Erica Jong in the early ‘70’s, Delta of Venus by Anais Nin and 9 ½ weeks by Elizabeth McNeil from the late 70’s pushed boundaries. The 80’s became saturated with content leaving no specific titles coming to the forefront. Perhaps Endless Love by Scott Spencer and the memorable BDSM trilogy The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Roquelaure (Anne Rice) in the early 80’s.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sexy Role-Play: Let’s Pretend!

SexyYoung Woman in Sexy Lingerie Holds Handcuffs


Your biggest sex organ is your brain. Using your imagination to channel ideas into sexy role-play can be very hot. Erotic role-play can help in a number of ways. Here are some role-play tips and ideas to find the level of role-play that suits you.

Character Development


First, what kind of role-play do you want to play? There are basics that come to mind, just don’t limit yourself. Think about your favorite story or fantasy. It can be as basic as a repairman fantasy or you’re really hot for firefighters. Maybe you think the barista is really sexy or perhaps you’ve always been hot for teacher (I brought my pencil). You can also think literary or cinematically so look into acting out a character in your favorite book or movie. You may have a TV character you really like. This is also a good time to look into edgy or unusual role-play. Pretending as characters is a great way to explore fantasies you may have been uncomfortable sharing or acting out before. Talk it over with your partner; they may have some great ideas to share.

Playing The Part

Once you’ve figure out what kind of role-play you want to try, you need to agree on how to go about it. Not all of us are comfortable acting out roles. Sometimes you can feel a little self conscious as you try to come up with things to say or you may feel silly wearing an outfit. If costumes feel like a bit too much, just try acting out the parts first. Go over your ideas beforehand; what role each of you will play, what are your goals, what is completely out of bounds, and if you want a cue or safeword that ends the scene. It’s ok to start with something simple. You don’t want to be so caught up with characters and costumes that it’s not sexy anymore. It can be as simple as, “when I come home tonight, I’m going to pretend I’m delivering pizza or come to fix your sink.” Or “At dinner lets pretend to be a king and his servant girl” or “Let’s act out this scene in this book tonight.” And if saying the words in character makes you or your partner laugh, that’s perfectly fine. It is role ‘play’ after all. Keep in mind that a sense of humor is sexy; so don’t take yourself too seriously. If playing the part throws you into a fit of giggles, just have a good laugh and move on. Laughter is sexy too.