Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Queer Porn Talk

Latex Lesbians

In honor of Pride month, I want to talk about queer porn. Queer porn is an inclusive and often subversive genre that showcases performers of many sexual orientations and gender identities which are seldom included in mainstream porn. The genre is steadily growing but there are still a lot of people who aren't familiar with it. So, let's look at the “who, what, when, where, and why” of queer porn!

            Courtney Trouble and Shine Louise Houston are responsible for some of the most popular queer porn sites and production companies. Trouble runs the websites Indie Porn Revolution (formerly NoFauxxx) and Queer Porn TV, as well as her own production company TROUBLEfilms.  Houston is the creator and director of the Crash Pad Series, which is made by her company Pink & White Productions. She also runs PinkLabel.TV, a streaming site that features her films and films from other queer porn producers. Both Trouble and Houston (and their production companies) have won multiple Feminist Porn Awards, Xbiz Awards, and have been nominated for AVN awards. Aside from these two fantastic producers, there's a growing number of other indie porn producers and individuals creating sexy queer porn. As for queer porn performers, they are a wonderfully diverse group of people. You'll see lots of different gender presentations, body sizes, ethnicities, kinks, etc.

            So what exactly is queer porn, and how is it different from other porn? Well, most importantly, queer folks are involved in the whole process: directing, starring, and buying. Its focus is on representing different sexual orientations and gender identities, usually in a way that is very authentic and sometimes also educational or political. Unlike most mainstream porn, it's target demographic isn't necessarily straight white men. Courtney Trouble explains it like this: “I feel like [queer porn] is porn that's been taken a step above and beyond what 'lesbian porn' or 'gay porn' has offered. It includes all genders, all identities, and shows sex between queers in an honest, respectful, and artistic light.” Similarly, Chelsea Poe, a trans porn actress, put it this way: “I think the reality of queer porn is it's art and it's about creating space for marginalized people.”
            Queer porn inherently means showing many kinds of sex acts and ways to have sex. You're more likely to see people using sex toys, strap-ons, and lube, and practicing safer sex. It's typically less scripted and more authentic. This is how Kitty Stryker explains being on a queer porn set: “You really feel the electricity of how these various people have sex together... The goal is to have sex in the ways that feel good for you and your partner/s, right at that moment. As a performer I’ve found it very freeing; as a [production assistant], I find it healing and informative to watch.”

            A lot of queer porn is being made is San Francisco and the Bay Area, which makes a lot of sense considering the area's long history of having a large LGBTQ+ community. As the genre grows, an increasing number of retailers are selling queer porn films.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

How to Incorporate Sex Toys Into Your Bedroom

Sex toys for adults
Sex toys aren't just for solo play. They can be great with your partner in the bedroom, too! Find new ways to pleasure your partner and strengthen your bond when you add sex toys to your next bedroom

But Aren't I Enough?

Some people flinch when their partners suggest using sex toys in the bedroom. You might be wondering if your partner is boring or if you're somehow not good enough. That is not true. Think of it like ice cream: there are hundreds of flavors, and you might have a favorite. But it's okay if you sometimes want to try something new or add some toppings. This doesn't mean your favorite is any less good. Sex is much like that, and variety is the spice of your sex life!

Many women are already familiar with sex toys because they provide the clitoral stimulation that most women need to get off, and it's a lot less stress on hands and wrists when a toy can do most of the work. You might be surprised how much fun you have shopping for and using new items, and toys and accessories can open up doorways to roleplay, bondage and other types of kink.

Friday, June 3, 2016

National LGBT Pride Month


Rejoice spread across the nation when the US Supreme Court finally made same-sex marriage legal nationwide June 26, 2015. In the year since the queens of the court set up the most legendary QueerPride & History Month of my lifetime, it’s been relatively quiet.

Then again, there’s few events beside the release of Lemonade and T’Challa’s life-altering catwalk in Civil War that have made as much of a stir. Even still, it’s been one heck of the year.

Montana, New York state, and the city of Charlotte now offer their LGBT citizens legal protections against discrimination. Unfortunately, North Carolina had to show out at the function passing the infamous and much protested HB 2 bathroom bill. My favorite president and America’s dad jumped in with a directive to public schools nationwide to allow students to use the bathrooms that match their gender identity. See NY Times article

If he could slap the spit out of North Carolina Governor Pat McCory’s stupid mouth, he probably wouldn’t; Barry O is all class, which why part of why we love him. Instead, he’d sit back, wait and then so something like this:  Obama Issues Pride Month Proclamation

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2016 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month.  I call upon the people of the United States to eliminate prejudice everywhere it exists, and to celebrate the great diversity of the American people.”

He's so dreamy <3

Friday, May 20, 2016

Masturbation Is Essential for A Better Sex Life

You know, there’s this pervasive idea that masturbation makes partnered sex less fun. While it certainly can cool off one's raging libido, masturbation is definitely no substitute for a cuddles, smiles and everything else a partner brings into your sex and life. Even more, when done with care, masturbation actually does way more good than most people give it credit for.

Let's take a moment to think about the phrase "masturbation makes sex less fun;" there's so many problems with it. Like, firstly, masturbation is sex. I know people usually mean partnered sex, but masturbation can and often does happen during sex with someone(s) else, so... what's the problem?

Though I feign ignorance, I know that beneath all various complaints about masturbation, the true problem: fear that our partners can be replaced by the convenience of masturbation alone.

There's so much more to sex than masturbation can provide. Even the pleasure of masturbation isn't quite the same as the pleasure of intercourse or even simply human connection. Still they aren't at odds. In fact, here’s a few of the most thrilling ways masturbation can make your partnered sex even hotter!

Thursday, April 28, 2016

CB-6000 Male Chastity Device Review

Before I was offered to review the CB-6000 Male Chastity Device, orgasm and chastity control sat on my list of things to try eventually - once I wrap my mind around it. While I still haven't quite done that, it's safe to say CB-6000 is an excellent device to explore this burgeoning kink of mine.

My first thoughts about the CB-6000 could be summarized as thus: Wow this thing has a lot of parts. Metal locks, plastic locks, two-part cage system, plus a bunch of spacers, lube, and other various doodads to customize the fit of the unit. It’s great that there's a ton of things to play around with. Still, it’s an intimidating number of options.

As a beginner in the world of male chastity and only two years or so into exploring kink in my life, the most important thing for me is accessibility. I don't mind instructions, but I shouldn't feel like I'm putting together Ikea furniture, either. On our first time testing CB-6000 together, we didn't use the instructions and found it very easy to jump into.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Ways to Feel Confident in The Bedroom

Beautiful Young Girl in a Sexy Lingerie

Although tips on sex toys and techniques are valuable for any person who wants a satisfying sex life, it's advice about feeling sexually confident that proves invaluable to our readers. This is especially true for women, who want learn to compare themselves to other women at an early age!

No matter your height or weight, the amount of experience you have or how in love you might be, you're never impervious to feeling a little anxiety. No one is.

The good news is that it's not a terminal issue. With time, practice and even a little help from your partner, you can raise your confidence inside the bedroom – and this confidence might even spill over to other areas of your life. Keep reading to learn how!

Fake it 'til you make it:

Remember that no one is impervious to criticism. Stripping down in front of another person is vulnerable, no matter who you are. Do you know the secret of people who don't seem so vulnerable? They fake it, at least a little bit!

If you're incredibly uncomfortable, it shows. And it can be a turn-off. So instead of hiding behind the blanket, keeping your clothes on every time or refusing to turn on the lights, try this: take a deep breath, smile, and forge ahead as if you're not as bothered as you are.

One way to do that is to simply visualize yourself as the sexual create you can be – and are! Eventually, you will feel more confident. Plus, your partner will find this confidence a turn on!

Dress the part:

No one feels sexy after a long day at work. If you want to feel more confident, do a little makeup (if you'd like), style your hair and wear something that makes you feel like you just have to be touched. Perhaps it's your partner's t-shirt, a sexy chemise or your favorite bra and panty set. Whatever makes you feel good? Rock it!

Monday, March 28, 2016

Sex Toys Are a Man's Best Friend Too

Muscular young sexy man lies on the bed

There's a common idea that men are all self-satisfied horn dogs who get whatever kind of sex they want because they're guys and that's what they do. While people mean well when they say that, it couldn't be farther from the truth.

Sure, women often get called names for having many sexual partners while men typically get a gentle chiding for the same behavior. Still, quantity and quality are not the same. Men might have sex with more people, but they aren't really allowed to enjoy it.

While there's a lot of attention and time spent educating and teaching women to advocate for their sexual pleasure, we actively discourage men from fully enjoying their sexuality. There's tons of examples of this in our culture, but one the saddest is the stigma against men using sex toys.

While this is fading with time, I really don't think it's moving fast enough. As a former victim of this continuing social plague, it's important for me speak openly about my love of sex toys and all the joys they've brought into my life.

I once believed wanting to try something more than just penetration was a sign of weakness. Now, I'm proud to have a sex toy box to rival my childhood X-Men & Power Ranger action figure collections. The change came gradually with a few restrained attempts at keeping up the facade of stoic masculinity followed by several purchases that changed my mind about the kind of pleasure I was capable of having.

While most of the specific products I bought aren't really sold anymore, the categories have only gotten better. So, let's go over a few sex toys that changed my life and could help step your sex game up, even if it's solo dolo.