Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Anal Sex Adventures: Pegging Basics

Young Couple During Foreplay

Anal August is not only a good time to learn about all things anal, but to try new things. If you’re not too familiar with pegging, or have never heard of it before, here is a short primer to get you started. There is much to learn so you should just take this as a starting point. I also recommend doing some more extensive reading. There are some fantastic books and videos out there, as well as, helpful websites and podcasts.

Pegging is when a woman engages in anal sex with a man using a harness and a dildo. The name was chosen when Dan Savage asked his sex column readers to vote on a term for this sex act. The practice has been around for a while but has recently seen a surge in popularity. Pegging provides a great deal of pleasure since not only is the rectal area loaded with sensitive nerve endings, but is also an excellent way to stimulate the prostate. Manual stimulation of genitals is made easier with a strap on harness that leaves hands free to roam and explore. Women experience pleasure from pressure as the base of the dildo presses into the pubic area, or internal stimulation if used with a double-ended dildo. Pegging is safe and pain free if you take your time and prepare properly. As with anal sex in general, a generous amount of good lube and a generous amount of patience can lead to a pleasurable experience.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Sex Talk with jessica drake

Join Wicked Pictures Exclusive performer and director of the award-winning instructional series "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex" as she teaches you the ins and outs of better sex. Enrich your love life with the help of this exciting and informative workshop offering a candid look at how men and women really feel about oral sex. 

We'll discuss basic anatomy, tips, techniques, and orgasms, PLUS after class there will be a candid Q&A for all of your unanswered questions. Following the workshop, jessica will sign autographs and take pictures. Bring your partner and an open mind as you join us for Sex Talk with Wicked's very own Sexpert jessica drake

Admission is free but seating will be limited.

Friday October 2, 2015 7-9 PM
2925 Carpenter Road
Ann Arbor, MI

Saturday October 3, 2015 2-4 PM
6858 Telegraph Road
Dearborn, MI  

RSVP at 

Follow jessica drake on twitter @thejessicadrake

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Pleasures of Orgasm Control

The girl on the bed take a masturbation

Most people think of achieving orgasm as crossing the finish line. Sometimes the race to the finish line is a quick sprint, sometimes a long marathon, sometimes it’s anywhere in between. The goal is usually to keep going to the finish line, running enthusiastically through, finish line tape fluttering behind us, waving our arms in the ecstasy of the moment, all aglow yet nearly exhausted.

This is either the end of the event or at the very least an extended break before continuing again.

There are others that aren’t rushing for that finish line no matter how long it’s taken to get there. They are slowing down or stopping before the end, sometimes even turning around and running again. In a race, this would seem ridiculous but in sex, delaying the end result can bring on an even more satisfying and enjoyable finish. Extending the time to reach orgasm can make orgasm itself a mind blowing euphoric experience. This is the pleasure of orgasm control.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Electro Sex – The Art of Electro Stimulation

Zeus Deluxe Edition Twilight Violet Wand Kit

Erotic electro stimulation, electro-stim for short, is a form of sensation play used often in BDSM play but can be used for any kind of sexy time play. Electro-stim uses static electricity to stimulate the nerves in a way that can be soft and tingly to strong and stingy. Toys like the stronger Violet Wand to the soft fingertip pads of the Hello Touch X can be used against the skin for a pleasurable effect. The static discharge can be an amazing sensual experience, especially when focused on the genitals. Electro stimulation has a non-sexual physical therapy use but has also become a long time favorite for erotic stimulation too. It can feel everywhere from a mild static shock that just above a tickle to an intense zap depending on a several variables.

Early Electro-Stim Use

Since Luigi Galvani first showed how electrical current applied to a dead frog made its legs move in the 18th century, we’ve been developing forms of electronic stimulation. It wasn’t until the 1950’s that this kind of stimulation became more commonplace. At this time the first EMS (electrical muscle stimulation) units were developed like the Relaxacisor, which was used as a passive form of exercise. Of course the Relaxacisor became a pervertable when it was discovered that placing the contacts on certain parts of the body was sexually stimulating. The EMS works by stimulating muscles to contract and is not used much erotically today. The 1970’s brought us the TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation) unit. It was used medically to stimulate nerves as a form of pain therapy. Units made specifically for erotic use were developed in the 90’s and remain popular. TENS units are comprised of a box that regulates the current and pads that are placed on the skin allowing the current to pass between the pads. Nowadays you can even get specific toys for your TENS unit like dildos, butt plugs and other sexy accessories.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Masturbation Tips for Women

Sexy young woman dressed in lingerie

May is the time where we focus on this amazing thing we all do called masturbation. One on one sexy time with yourself can do so much more for you than ever imagined. It can help your overall health such as regulating blood pressure, boosting your mood and bolstering your immune system. Taking time to explore yourself more closely can give you a better understanding of your body during sex. So loosen those shackles of shame that have hovered over self-pleasuring since time unmemorable. Here are some tips to get the most out of solo time.

Set the mood

Sometimes it not enough to just flop down on a bed and rub one out. Sometimes you need to set the mood. It’s like a date with yourself. Put out candles and put on sexy music, whatever you feel will put you in the mood. Make sure the room is comfortable and you will have private uninterrupted time, this can be a challenge if you’re a mom. Have everything you need close at hand like lube, toys, etc. You can get into the mood by watching some porn. Maybe even try a new genre you’ve never watched before. Take out some erotica and not only read it to yourself but try to read it out loud. Or take some time to check out some of the amazing photos available online. You’re imagination can help with the sexy feelings by fantasizing about some really hot steamy scenes. Have some mental role play with your favorite celebrity or hottie you’ve been thinking about.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Masturbation Tips for Men

Young Sexy Man on a Bed

Masturbation May is the perfect time to explore the art of self-pleasuring in ways you never have before. Masturbation has hidden health benefits. It not only feels good but it helps improve sexual performance, can improve your overall mood, can boost your immunity, help to prevent prostate cancer and even help with premature ejaculation issues. Unfortunately society has tried to attach shame to masturbation and many have grown up hearing lots of myths to discourage it. Many have not even looked into this healthy way of exploring your sexuality fully. Even long time fans are stuck in a rut, sticking to the same routine. Here are some tips to make the most of solo playtime.

Get To Know Your Body

Rather than rush to your usual go-to routine, try to explore other areas of your body. The penis consists of the shaft and it’s bulbous cap called the glans. Areas sensitive to touch aren’t just the shaft and glans in general. The frenulum, the area that connects the foreskin to the coronal ridge of the glans, is dense with sensitive nerve endings. There’s also your testicles, the area between your testicles and your anus called the perineum, and the anus which is also rich in nerve endings and is the best way to reach the prostate, or p-spot, for stimulation. You also have nipples that are sensitive to touch and temperature. Nipple play is not just people equipped with breasts; all nipples feel good when touched so try to include some time with them. Experimenting and getting to know your body more intimately might help you to discover new ways of pleasuring yourself.

Don’t Just Hit It and Quit it

A common routine is to just bang one out, a quick full hand yank that barrels toward orgasm. Delaying orgasm can lead to a more intense and longer orgasm experience. The kink community calls this “edging” or orgasm control and is basically a stop-and-start method. Bring yourself right up to the edge of ejaculation and then stop. Take enough of a break to stay turned on, maybe have your erection soften a bit, then start all over again. Doing this a couple of times before you let yourself orgasm will lead to more powerful orgasms. The start stop method can also help with longevity. Discovering ways to control your responses could help with early ejaculation issues too. You may find longer more fulfilling sexual experiences once you’ve worked on controlling and elongating your response time.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Consent Is Not Just Sexy, It’s Mandatory.

There are lots of important things to talk about during Sexual Assault Awareness Month every April. Each year’s campaign puts a spotlight on issues like preventing sexual assault on campus, healthy adolescent sexuality and child sexual abuse prevention. One subject that comes up often is teaching and understanding the importance of consent. We need to get past the victim blaming/slut shaming techniques used in the past. Telling women they were “asking for it” because of the clothing they were wearing, or being flirtatious, being intoxicated, or even just walking alone at night is no longer acceptable. This takes the responsibility away from the perpetrators. Teaching consent starts with learning how to say no and receive a no, how to say yes, how to have a conversation about what you want, how a person’s way of expressing themselves with their clothes is not inviting you to violate them, and learning that we are not ever entitled sex… ever. It’s a long row to hoe (no slut shaming here!) but even the campaign telling us that consent is sexy fell a little short. Consent can be sexy, but it can also be difficult and awkward. No matter how it happens, consent is mandatory.

What is Consent?

The definition of consent, according to Merriam Webster, is “to give assent or approval.” Unfortunately, that approval has for a long time been somewhat fuzzy in its definition. Consent needs to be given in an honest, sober and willing manner. While Yes always means Yes, the absence of a No does not mean Yes. It’s more than just a Yes, too. Consent is about a mutually agreed upon expression of desire that includes the discussion of boundaries along with these desires. Consent isn’t a maybe, maybe is always a no. What you need to look for is enthusiastic consent, not an “I don’t know.” “I’m not sure.” or “I guess so.” When looking for enthusiastic consent also look at body language. Are they turning away, folding their arms around their body, stiffening up, or being unresponsive? Then stop what you are doing and check in with your partner. Consent is not being freely given so either this person changed their mind or was not an enthusiastic yes to begin with.