Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes: Erogenous Zones That Aren’t Your Genitals

sexy girl in with bare lies on the silk bed

What body parts turn you on when touched? I mean, besides the obvious clitoris, vagina, anus, penis, and testicles? Humans are sexual creatures. Our bodies have all sorts of places that, when touched, have the ability to get our juices flowing. Erogenous zones are these such areas, and they’re different for everyone! What may feel dreamy to someone may send someone else into a giggle fit from the tickles, or make another cringe in discomfort. Here are just a few of these sexy spots from head to toe!


There’s a reason the phrase “nibble your ear” exists. Ears have all sorts of delightfully sensitive nerve endings. Try working your way up from kissing their neck to the earlobes, then to the top where a cartilage piercing might be. Speaking of piercings, be careful not to accidentally munch any jewelry while you’re sucking, nibbling, and kissing.


Speaking of sucking, nibbling, and kissing, you lips and mouth are a great tool to use for exploring other erogenous zones, since they themselves are a sexy spot. I’m of the opinion that the only way be a bad kisser is by not reading the other person’s body signals. Since everyone has their own special kissing style, two people’s styles might just not line up. If you pair someone who likes a lot of tongue with someone who doesn’t like tongue, neither will be happy, and they’ll probably call the other a bad kisser. Really, the only thing that made those individuals bad kissers is not adapting their kissing style to suit the other person (but when you have completely opposite styles, can you blame them?.


Perhaps one of the most popular erogenous zones, the neck is often the site of purpleish spotted bruises called hickies. Hickies occur when skin is sucked to the point where blood vessels break under the skin. Some people love them, some hate them, so it’s always important to ask your partner if they’re okay with some souvenirs before you turn them into a vampire victim. Neck makeout sessions don’t have to involve hickies, though. Try licking, kissing, nibbling, using your hand to hold the back of the neck just below the head, or holding just below the chin to tilt the head to yours. Try spots like along the jaw, down to the side of the throat, behind the ear, or the collar bones.

Breasts and Nipples

Did you know that the nipples of some people are so responsive to touch that these folks can orgasm just from nipple stimulation? That’s right, no genital touching needed. While not all of us have this superpower, nipples can still be a great source of pleasure. Make sure not to squeeze too hard at first, some are sensitive! For some extra fun, try using nipple clamps, suckers, or a vibrator on them.


Tracing someone’s hips is such a teasy move. Your hands are so close yet so far. It’s a good opportunity to trace circles around the hip bones or run a finger along the band of their pants. Hips (and belt loops) are also a heavenly place to pull someone closer for a kiss.

Inner thighs

Even more teasy than the hips are the inner thighs. Your face is right there, perfectly prepped for oral, but instead of roaming the genitals, you’re kissing and sucking right around them in a torturous but delicious way. Try tracing different shapes with your mouth, using different pressure or tongue movements, and see how close to their junk you can get until they grab your head and pull you closer. Even a massage along the thighs makes for some fantastic foreplay. If hickies are a no on the neck, the inner thighs are a great, more secretive place for them, just remember to ask first!

Because everyone will react differently to these touches, it’s important to ask your sex pal if it’s okay to touch these spots. It’s also great to read their reactions. For example, a giggle might mean “ooh yes, that feels good and I’m happy”, or it could mean “That tickles!”. On the flip side, if you know you like a certain spot touched or kiss, ask your partner to go there, or guide them to the spot. Really any part of your body could be an erogenous zone, and it’s up to you to discover them.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

College Student Sex Hacks

A shot of an ethnic college student studying on campus

Sex can be awkward no matter who or where you are. Genitals make funny sounds, teeth bump, and sometimes you fall off the bed (No? Just me?). Some issues, however, are particularly applicable to university students. Just try parading down the hallway to the communal bathroom with a lubey dildo in your hand. These tips can help ease some of that awkwardness and send you on your safe and sexy way!

Fix That Awful Dorm Bed

A tiny squeaky rickety twin-sized bed is possibly the furthest thing from an ideal place for sex. To make things a little comfier, pile on mattress toppers, pillows and blankets, and be sure to have multiple sets of sheets in case things get messy. To stop the incessant squeaking, you have three options:
1. Oil the springs (Both vegetable oil and WD-40 are fine. Even silicone lube can work!).
2. Place a flat sheet between the springs and your mattress.
3. Get rid of the whole bed and put the mattress on the floor. Bonus point: loft the bed frame, put your mattress on the floor underneath, and hang sheets around it. Congratulations, you’re now 20 something years old and sleeping in a blanket fort every night. Sexy.
Those beds do have one thing going for them. Usually the frames offer a whole new world of places to tie rope. If you’re interested in bondage, now is a great time to get creative.

Discreetly Wash Your Sex Toys

Cleaning your sex toys is important. Washing away your gunk after playing keeps your toy from growing infection-causing bacteria on it, especially if it’s made of porous materials. Understandably, not everyone wants to walk down their dorm hallway carrying a fluid-covered dildo to wash in the communal bathroom. To keep things a little more discreet, place used toys in your shower caddy and take it with you when you go shower. For extra sneakiness, cut the bottom out of an old shampoo bottle and hide your toy inside to ensure no one sees it.

Get Free Stuff

If there’s a place on earth to get free stuff it’s on a college campus. Besides the T-shirts and can cozies, you can often find sex-related things too. The head of your dorm or the student assistants may have free condoms and dental dams available, and so might your university health services or LGBT center. These locations may also offer free and confidential STI testing, as well as access to support groups for queer and trans students.

Be Safe

If weekend parties are the way you find your sex pals, make sure to keep yourself safe and sound. First, parties are better (and safer!) when you arrive and leave with a friend. Stay safe getting home, too. Most universities have what’s called the “blue light system”. From anywhere you stand on campus you should be able to see a blue light, and from any blue light you should be able to see another one. Pressing the button alerts the police that you feel unsafe and require assistance. Many universities also have student safety officers who monitor the campus on weekends, or who you can call to drive or walk you home.

College is stereotypically a time for sexual exploration and rambunctiousness, but whether you’re out looking for a hookup every weekend or tucked in bed with your favorite sex toy (or doing nothing sexual at all!), make sure to get consent, communicate, and stay safe.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Why You Should Care About Sex Toy Materials

Many pink female vibrators, with red shoes on a white background

Let's establish a few things. Sex toys aren't regulated by an organization such as the FDA. Without regulations, sex toy makers can make less-than-true statements about their products, including what they're made of and how body-friendly those toys are.

Some sex toy makers care more about profit than your health. Companies have sold millions of toys, the quality of which is as low as the price. There are no ramifications if they mislead the customer. And every time you replace a cheap toy, the company pads their pockets even more.

Sadly, it's up to you, the consumer, to know what your sex toys are actually made from and why it matters.

It gives you an idea what using it will feel like

Glass, metal, wood and ceramic are all rigid. Textures feel more pronounced on these toys than softer materials. Silicone can be nearly rigid or soft enough to bend in half. It can also have a slick, shiny texture or a velvety feeling that's more “grabby.”

Glass and metal are especially receptive to temperature change. You can dip them in warm or cool water to change how they feel.

You could have a reaction to your toys

Checking the package allows you to avoid both materials that are known to cause discomfort to others and those materials that you personally have issues with. Say you have a known latex allergy. Any toy made from latex would be on the no-go list. Although latex toys are increasingly less common, some dildos and even strap-on harnesses are made from it. Unknown allergens could also be haunting sex toys.

Sil-A-Gel, for example, is an additive in some Doc Johnson toys. It might sound like it's made from silicone, but those toys contain PVC and often phthalates (the plastic softeners that cause that shower curtain smell). It is advertised as antibacterial, but many people have had reactions. Some even have chemical burns from dildos made with Sil-A-Gel.

Heads up: if you want to test any toy that's labeled as pure silicone, you can do a silicone test. Pure silicone may develop a dark smudge, but it won't melt or burn.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

5 Sexy Spooky Role-Plays for Halloween


Today is Halloween and you know what that means. It’s costume time! Costumes don’t have to be reserved for the 31st though. Try bringing one into the bedroom for some role-playing! The grown-up version of playing pretend, role-play is a great way to test out a power dynamic, explore kinks, or just pretend to be someone (or something) else! You can play out fantasies by using props and costumes, or with nothing but the most powerful sexual organ you’ve got, your brain. Here’s a list of bone(r)-chilling role plays to spice up your sex life this spooky season!

A Vampire

Although plastic vampire teeth have no business around anyone’s genitals, rumor has it vampires are great at sucking things. What a perfect excuse for endless neck kisses. Trailing sharp claws over someone’s skin has never been so sexy, but leave the stakes to the real bloodsuckers.

A Dominatrix

If you’ve ever imagined yourself as a leather-clad dom, but have always been too nervous that you wouldn’t fit the part, now is your chance. Domming someone can be nerve-wracking and vulnerable, and one way to make it easier is to turn it into a role-play in which you pretend to be a formidable and unforgiving mistress or master. Accessories like a whip, riding crop, or wrist and ankle cuffs will help you get in the mood to drip hot wax all over your sub’s body, or perhaps gag their mouth so they can’t say a peep when you paddle their rear end.

A Kitten

If you reside on the other end of the domination/submission spectrum as a SUB, perhaps a spooky little black kitten would be more up your alley. Kitten-play celebrates innocence, gentleness, and care taking, so if you’re into being loved and cherished, put some sweet little ears on your head, maybe try out sporting a swishy tail, or slip a collar and leash around your neck. Purr.

A Trick or Treat Candy Basket

You know those gag gift candy thongs, underwear, and bras? Now is the perfect time to finally have the excuse to bring those suckers out. All dolled up, you’d be the perfect treat for your partner. Kick up the sweetness by drizzling some flavored lube over your most delicious parts too!

A Sorcerer, Witch, or Wizard

Enchant your partner by casting a spell on them to make them fall in love with you, or for something a little kinkier, make them do your bidding. Lure them to the bedroom with a siren song, or use your Magic Wand to bewitch them into pleasure. 

Now, if you’ve never done this before, perhaps it’s best not to surprise your lover by suddenly appearing in nothing but kitten ears and candy nipple-tassels. Instead, talk about it beforehand, establishing that whatever costume you choose is something you both want. Then you can decide whether a surprise or a thoroughly planned-out night is right for you. Whatever you choose, role-play is a great way to explore sex in new way. Have a Happy Halloween!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

7 Reasons We Love Lube

What do you consider a must-have for amazing sex or solo time? We think that most people would benefit by adding lube to that list. However, people sometimes feel hesitant to use lube because they don't realize how awesome lube can be and that there's nothing wrong with using it. We're here to change a few minds about that, however. Without any further ado, here are seven reasons we love lube (and think you will, too!)

1. It Can Help You Get Pregnant

If you're trying to conceive or TTC, you'll find lube available to you that helps you to get pregnant. While most lubes are actually detrimental to sperm because of their osmolality – a measurement of particles dissolved in the solute – TTC lubes have an osmolality in the same range of sperm, which means the sperm remain healthy as they travel through vagina and cervix into the uterus.

Astroglide TTC, Pre-seed and Yes lube are among your options if you're trying to conceive.

2. It Makes Things More Comfortable

What does lubricant do? Well, it lubricates! This means added slickness and slipperiness when you're in the throes of passion. Even if you're young, healthy and incredibly turned on, you can benefit from lube. And if you take any medication or suffer from a condition that makes it difficult to produce your own lubricant, then personal lubricant is your friend.

Let's not forget about anal sex. The anus doesn't self-lubricate at all, so lube is a must! We recommend a thicker lube to provide cushioning for anal sex.

And lube isn't just for making it feel better for whoever is on the receiving end. Lack of lubrication can be unpleasant for the penetrating partner, too, which is why lube is everybody's friend!

But if you're going for a little solo play, lube is also a great tool to keep in your gear box. Water-based lube is compatible with everything, but you can use silicone lube with most inert toy materials (glass, wood, ceramic, plastic and metal) as well as high-quality silicone toys. Do a patch test on the base of a silicone lube and rub vigorously to see if it interacts.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Butts and Beaches and Bathing Suits, Oh My!: How Masturbation Can Help You Love Your Body

Four beautiful African American Bikini girls on the beach.

“Swimsuit Season” is upon us, and while some are thrilled to shed their clothes and show some skin, others dread the pool, beach, or lake, fearing what others will think of them for their body size. While there isn’t an overnight fix to overcome years of negative feelings about your body, there are some small steps that can help, and one of these unconventional tricks requires nothing more than your hand.

Feeling positive about your body is extremely difficult in a society filled with magazines emblazoned with the word “DIET” residing in every checkout line, the exact same body type on every movie screen, and jokes in which a larger bodied person is the punchline. Nearly every day we are told we are not attractive enough. Combating that takes work.

No matter one’s size or shape, everyone deserves to feel good about their body, and there are so many ways to do so: wearing clothes you love, exercising the way you like to, or practicing positive self-talk in the mirror. All of these are great options, and everyone will have a different preference for their source of good-feels. However, there might be another practice you haven’t yet thought of, and that’s masturbation.

From a physical and biological approach, masturbation simply feels good. Pleasure and orgasms cause chemicals called endorphins to be released in the brain, and these little hormones cause feelings of happiness and relaxation. Orgasms also cause muscles to relax, and encourage blood circulation throughout the body. For these physical reasons, masturbation (and sex in general!) is great for stress relief, helping to release physical and mental tension.

Masturbation is a great distraction from stress, and can also be an intentional moment of mindfulness. The goal of mindfulness, a practice often used in managing anxiety and stress, is to build the habit of focusing on the present moment instead of worrying about the past or what’s to come. Masturbating is an excellent way of bringing your attention away from worries and into your body, enjoying the pleasure at hand.

Pleasuring yourself is also just that, giving yourself pleasure. If having sex with someone is called “making love”, then masturbation could be akin to making love to yourself. Your body deserves to feel good. People have sex with one another because they’re attracted to one another, so why should sex with yourself be any different?

Just like sex has the potential to connect two people, masturbation can connect you with your own self. Both having control over and getting to know your body can give you a boost of confidence. Through self-pleasure, you learn what your body likes and how to make it feel good. Although it may seem like a stretch, feeling good in your body (Pleasure and orgasms!) can totally translate to feeling good about your body (Confidence and self-love!).

Masturbation may be often viewed as nothing more than a naughty secret act, but if you’re reading this little article on a sex toy store’s blog, than you may know that experiencing pleasure is neither naughty, nor does it need to be secretive. It has so many physical and mental health benefits, and using masturbation  to accept and appreciate your body is just one of it’s many perks. So get down to some self-lovin’ and lovin’ yourself.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Three Firework-Worthy Strokers to Spark Pleasure

Playful male hand in pants.

Independence day has come and gone. Perhaps you’ve chowed down on classics like burgers and watermelon or gone swimming with family and friends. Chances are, you probably watched some fireworks. These splashes of light were probably all sorts of sizes, shapes, sounds, and colors, right? Well guess what? So are strokers.

Strokers are tube-like toys that stimulate the penis by mimicking any hole you would normally put a penis in, whether that’s a mouth, vagina, or anus. Inside the tube is often a pattern of squishy ridges or bumps designed to give the user extra pleasure. Any stroker has the potential to feel great, but these three are especially interesting. These unique strokers will have you seeing fireworks of your own!

Tenga Egg

A Tenga Egg is one of the cheapest options out there in the stroker world. Inside the plastic egg is a small masturbation sleeve. There’s no fancy case, and all you need to operate it is your hand. These toys are one of my favorites because unlike traditional hard-cased strokers, you can exactly control how tight the sleeve fits around the penis just by squeezing your hand to your regular masturbation or handjob strength. The eggs come in many different textures, from swirls to waves, and while technically single-use, you can definitely get a few uses out of it with proper cleaning. They’re also incredibly easy to hide, just don’t leave them out around Easter time if you have kids!

Fleshlight Quickshot

Another one of my personal favorites, the Fleshlight Quickshot offers something most strokers don’t. It’s about a quarter of the size of a conventional masturbator, which makes this great for at least two things. Firstly, it permits what I like to call “super-powered blowjobs”. Have your partner hold the Quickshot in their hand, moving it up and down the shaft while they use their mouth on the tip! This may get a whole lot of lube in their mouth, so try something tasty like Wicked Aqua Flavored Lubricant (It comes in flavors like pomegranate and salted caramel). The Quickshot is also great for those with more sensitive tips. This stroker can more easily be focused on the shaft, leaving the head of the penis free if overstimulated.

Hot Octopuss Pulse III Solo and Duo

Possibly the most unique toy in this list, the Pulse III is a vibrator for your penis. The Pulse can be placed on your penis whether it is flaccid or erect, which makes it a great helping hand for those that may struggle with erections. The solo is operated via the toy itself, but the duo comes with a remote for play with a partner. As cool as this toy is, penises can be picky with vibrations. Some people absolutely love them, and can even have a hands-free orgasm simply by placing the Pulse on their peen and cranking up the vibrations. However, some might find a toy like this unexciting and unarousing. All bodies are different and will respond differently to the Pulse. After all, part of what makes sex toys so exciting (besides pleasure, that is) is trying new things!

With all of these toys, you’ll want a water-based lube to keep things nice and slick. Toys for penises are often overlooked, but these ones are sure to light up your night.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Monday, August 7, 2017

Four Sex Toys to Heat Up (Or Cool Down) Your Summer

Attractive anonymous couple on a date, summer love concept

It’s official. Summer has arrived, and so has the heat that comes with it. While some of us thrive in sticky humidity and scorching sun, others turn into sweaty grumpy blobs. I think many people would agree that ninety-something degree days aren’t exactly a time where they feel most sexy, but fear not. Here to end those steamy days with some even steamier nights are four sex toys perfect for summer. Whether you’re planning on lounging by the beach or hiding inside with the air conditioner blasting, one of these toys may just be the perfect fit for you!

Wicked Ultra Chill Lubricant

This slip and slide is for adults only! Perfect for cooling off on hot summer days, Wicked Ultra Chill lube is specially formulated to cause a cooling sensation wherever applied. It’s silicone formula has only a few simple ingredients, and includes menthol for it’s namesake chill. Lube is great for all sorts of sexy activities, whether you’re using hands, a penis, or a toy. In my humble opinion, a lube that tingles like this one does could be regarded as a sex toy on it’s own. Try putting it in the refrigerator for some extra shivers!

Pipedream Icicles No. 46 Glass Massager

If cooling lube isn’t enough to beat the heat, try temperature play! Glass (and metal) toys hold temperatures wonderfully, making cooling down or heating up your sex life as easy as pouring yourself a glass of water. Try putting this prostate massager in cold water for a bit before insertion (never put in the freezer; you don’t want frostbite down there) to cool things down. Alternatively, soak your glass or metal toy in warm (never hot!) water to add some heat.

We-Vibe Tango

For vacations both near and far, pack a punch with a small, travel-friendly vibrator like the We-Vibe Tango. This isn’t one of the most popular small vibrators for nothing. It’s incredibly strong for it’s size, rechargeable, and waterproof (so it’s perfect for a relaxing bath or shower!). Small and lipstick-shaped, it’s a wonderfully discreet toy perfect for stowing away in your purse, carry-on, or suitcase.

Bonus tip: To avoid sex toys turning on during travel, pack in appropriately sized boxes. The We-Vibe Tango easily fits in a glasses case or even a pill bottle.

BS Atelier Oben Silicone Anal Dildo

Planning a stay-at-home vacation this year? No problem! With BS Atelier’s Oben dildo, you can bring the beach to you. These colors remind me of either the sand meeting the waves, or a fancy poolside beverage. Either way, the blue and yellow gradient creates a beautiful, tropical toy. The Oben comes in three sizes, all of which are perfect if trying out anal play is on your summer bucket list. It’s made of body-safe silicone too, which makes cleaning a (summer) breeze.

No matter your summer plans, trying out new things is a great way to spend such a lovely season, and these toys are perfect ways to do that. Summer vacation may be designed for the kids, but that doesn’t mean adults can’t play too!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Sex Talk with jessica drake

Sex Talk with jessica drake

Join Wicked Pictures Exclusive performer and director of the award-winning instructional series "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex" as she teaches you the ins and outs of better sex. Enrich your love life with the help of this exciting and informative workshop. 

This informative workshop will cover basic anatomy, tips, techniques, and orgasms, PLUS after class there will be a candid Q&A for all of your unanswered questions. Following the workshop, jessica will sign autographs and take pictures. Bring your partner and an open mind as you join us for Sex Talk with Wicked's very own Sexpert jessica drake

Admission is free but seating will be limited.

Thursday September 28, 2017 7 PM
24940 Lorain Road
North Olmsted, OH

Friday September 29, 2017 7 PM
2925 Carpenter Road
Ann Arbor, MI 

RSVP at 

Follow jessica drake on twitter @thejessicadrake

Thursday, July 13, 2017

When to Replace Sex Toys

Sex toys
You can now buy sex toys are your corner pharmacy, which means that more people than ever own a vibrator, dildo or butt plug (and some of us own quite a few of each!). Of course, few things last forever. Glass breaks, motors die, and softened plastics lose their integrity. What are the signs that a toy has provided its last pleasure and that you need a new one? Find out!

Not All Materials Are Equal

Jelly toys are porous, to begin with, which means you can never quite clean them all the way. Aside from not sharing your jelly you, you'll want to replace it (potentially with a body-safe sex toy) more frequently than nonporous toys. The porousness means that infections could potential infest your toy, so you'll want to replace those toys as soon as you realize you have a bacterial, yeast or sexually-transmitted infection just to be on the safe side. Needless to say, you want to ditch any toys that cause a reaction or infection because those toys are not compatible with your body!

Similarly, you shouldn't use porous toys vaginally after anal insertion. Not everyone knows this, however, so you may have used a toy that couldn't be sterilized in both orifices. As soon as you realize this fact, however, you'll want to get new toys for vaginal use (although, you could keep the toy for anal use).

Eventually, however, porous toys will often become stained or pick up smells that you can no longer remove no matter how diligently you clean those toys. This is, again, related to the toy's porosity.

Toys made from jelly and similar materials will eventually start leaching the chemicals that are used to produce a soft texture. They'll become oily and quite unappetizing if we're being honest. When jelly toys are stored together, they can become misshapen, fused together, and discolored during this process. At first sign of this leaching, you should toss your toy and not risk your health by using it any longer.

Although sometimes billed as safer than jelly/latex/PVC, TPE is another material that is softened with a chemical – mineral oil – and toys made from TPE will experience a similar effect over time. TPR is a similar substance that will suffer the same fate.

Chemical leaching over time and porosity isn't an issue with all soft sex toys, however. Silicone is a stable material that has no pores, allowing you to fully sterilize your toys (without motors or seams). In fact, you can even light silicone on fire safely (you'll need to wipe away some soot, but it won't damage your toy!).

The softest of silicones may leach a bit of silicone over time, but this is comparable to silicone-based lube and doesn't make the toy less safe to use. Harder silicones won't suffer this fate (nor do you need to worry about a reaction when storing your silicone sex toys close together), and you could feasibly keep a silicone sex toy for your entire life!

There is one exception, however. If you use silicone-based lube with your toys of the same material, a reaction will occur. The surface of the toy will become gummy. If you notice this, assume your toy is no longer nonporous and consider replacing it (and being more careful with lube in the future!).

Toys from inert materials including metal, glass, plastic, ceramic and treated wood could potentially provide a lifelong relationship. You could even will your favorite stainless steel dildo to someone upon your passing! Short of breaking your toy, you can keep them forever. This is why so many sex toy reviewers and bloggers recommend upgrading from your unsafe jelly toys, which have a limited lifespan, to body-safe materials.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Three Reasons Why Yes/No/Maybe Lists Rule

Couple wearing underware in sexual foreplay

Recently here on Cirilla’s Bedroom Insider we’ve been chatting about how to talk about sex with a partner. We’ve written about how to communicate before, during, and after sex, but I saved my absolute favorite tip for its very own post. In my opinion, yes/no/maybe lists are the bee’s knees. Also known as a want/will/won’t list, a yes/no/maybe list is a chart of sex acts you create to communicate which sex acts you’re thrilled about (the “yes” or “want”), which ones you might be willing to try (the “will” or “maybe”), and which ones you’d rather stay away from (the “no” or “won’t”). This handy guide will by no means be the end-all be-all of your sexual adventures, but it’s a great place to start and build conversations. Here are a few reasons why these handy-dandy things rule, and some tips on how to create your own!

Yes/no/maybe lists give you a chance to reflect upon your own sexuality.

A yes/no/maybe list starts with thinking about your own sexual habits. What do you like? What do you hate? Considering how you would categorize your favorite and not-so-favorite sexual activities is a great opportunity for some self-reflection. To sort through the multitude of sex acts and get inspiration for things to go on your chart, try peeking at Lindsey Doe’s video of a list of sex acts. You can also watch porn or read erotica to get ideas, and perhaps even peruse some sex toys for inspiration. Whatever you do, take some time to imagine yourself in these situations. You just might find yourself turned on by something you never would have thought of!

They spark conversations about sex and consent.

Yes/no/maybe lists are easy ways to get the ball rolling in giving and receiving consent. These lists aren't set in stone, however. What’s written on the paper may not reflect how you or your partner is feeling at any time, so although using a bondage set might be in the “yes” category, that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to tie or be tied every single time you have sex. Yes/no/maybe lists are great for creating dialogue and negotiations around what type of sex might be on the menu for the day. Just ask!

They give you your own homemade reference list to spice up your sex life.

“Hey, remember all these cool things that you can do with your bodies?”- Your yes/no/maybe list when you get bored of your usual sex routine. When once fiery passions turn into the same-old humdrum pattern, turn to your handy dandy list to rediscover other activities you might like to try. You might have to shift some sex acts from column to column, but you’re bound to find something new, or even uncover something you used to do that just doesn’t happen enough anymore.

Remember, your yes/no/maybe list is just a starting point for a conversation, and with time and experience, wants, wills, and won’ts may change! For more resources and information on yes/no/maybe lists, check out Lindsey Doe’s video and list of sex acts, a cool worksheet-style list, a kinky list, or check out Bex Talks Sex’s beautifully detailed blog post. Happy communicating!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Three New High-End Sex Toys We're Dying to Try

Masturbation is different for everyone. While some people use masturbation to quickly and frantically orgasm ASAP, touching oneself can also be a special time for others. It’s a chance to let go of worries and spend some time getting to know and love your body. Luckily, these toys should be great for both these sorts of folks (or anyone in between!), and man do they feel fancy. All of them are pricey at over $100, rechargeable and made with silicone so your bits stay safe. These toys are like caviar for your clitoris, prosecco for your penis, or truffles for your tush. They’ve just been released within the past few months, and everyone is dying to get their hands on them.

The b-Vibe Triplet 

b-Vibe first became popular for their Rimming plug, and then came out with the Trio and the Novice. The Triplet is their latest edition to the lineup, and these vibrating anal beads are cool for so many reasons. First of all, it has two motors; one in the bottom and one in the middle portion. These bumps are a classic anal bead shape, with the largest bead at the bottom (1.2”), and smallest at the top (.8”). If you’ve ever wanted a partner to make your butt vibrate with the push of a button, now is your chance because this baby is operated via remote control. Even if you’re not handing it over to a partner, how fab is it to not have to reach down to change the settings?

The We-Vibe Wish 

Squishy, soft, and sweet are three words to describe this adorable vibrator. Meant for buzzing against external body parts like the clitoris or penis, the We-Vibe Wish is a palm sized toy perfect for broad stimulation, but with the added bonus of a small tip for more precise action. It features a “PowerPulse” Technology that delivers a pulsing sensation different from any other toy on the market. Described as “waves of pleasure”, the tech sure sounds fun to us! Like the Triplet, you can hand over the controls to a partner either in your bedroom or across the world via the We-Connect app. Use a pre-programmed pattern, create your own custom settings, or tap the screen to control the vibes. The choice is yours.

Le Wand 

Everything about this vibrator feels luxurious: the shape, the colors (grey and pearl white), the simple yet elegant buttons. Heck, even the name sounds fancy. The Le Wand massager is a powerful thing, rumored to be wonderfully rumbly with ten vibrations strengths and twenty patterns. Unlike many wand vibrators, this one has a flexible neck perfect for getting just the right angle. Continuing the theme of luxury, the Le Wand comes with a handy little travel case, as well as a neat head cover patterned with a different texture for a different kind of pleasure.

So if you’ve been hankering to treat your body to some fancy new toys, check out the Triplet, Wish, or Le Wand. It only takes some imagination to close your eyes and picture yourself lounging on silk sheets pressing these toys into or against your pampered body. Lay back, relax, and enjoy your fanciest wank yet.

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs

Thursday, June 15, 2017

How to Talk About Sex Part Three: After Sex

Happy young couple lying and hugging in bed
We all love that moment after a good shag when we finally roll off one another, panting heavily with sweat pouring down our backs. Flopping down on the bed and lying in a metaphorical (or physical) puddle of pleasure is nothing short of divine, but after that rush fades to a glow, it’s time to talk.

Talking about the sex you just experienced with your partner (or partner for the night) can bring you closer, help you explore kinks, and best of all, improve your sex! As we’ve mentioned in the past few posts on communicating about sex, doing so can be hard. Cultural norms and our own shyness can prevent us from speaking up about sex, but once we practice doing so, it becomes so much easier. Don’t know where to start? Here are five things you should chat about right after a romp.

How you’re feeling

First things first, check in with yourself and your partner. Sex can leave us feeling euphoric, but it can also cause feelings of vulnerability, discomfort, and other less-than-stellar emotions. Letting your partner know how you’re feeling can also let them know what you need, whether that might be a snack, some space, or some cuddles.

The good

Everyone loves compliments, and sex is something so many people are self-conscious about. Your words of encouragement can help combat all the negativity people are bombarded with everyday. Be sincere in these compliments. In the short term, saying nice things can give a great confidence boost and make your partner happy. Voice what you really love, and next time they might take the hint and do it again. In the long term, repeated guidance toward the aspects of sex that drive you wild will help form the best sex ever.

The bad

If the person in your bed will only be there for the night, feel free to skip this conversation and send them on their way. However, If they’ll be back, it might be handy to let them know they were a little too toothy with that blowjob. This shouldn’t be a list of criticisms intended to hurt their feelings, but one or two comments on not pulling your hair so hard or avoiding ticklish spots will go a long way.

Friday, May 26, 2017

12 Sex Myths That Are Untrue

Sexy young couple kissing and playing in bed.

No matter how much we try to educate people are sex, some sex myths just keep getting passed around. These urban legends are so persistent that you might believe them to be true, but we're here to shed some light on the subject.

Myth: Guys Always Want Sex and There's Something Wrong If They Don't

This goes hand-in-hand with the sex myth that a guy is always hard and ready to go, but both are simply wrong. Not every man wants sex all the time, and a man who wants sex may not be able to get erect, even if he's younger than is typically associated with erectile dysfunction. But society expects men to be on standby at all times when it comes to sex, and men who don't want sex at a given moment or who can't get hard are treated as less masculine.

One thing to remember is that a semi-erect penis can still function, and sex can include all sorts of activities that aren't penis-centric.

Myth: The Goal of Sex Is Orgasm

This sex myth is dead wrong if only because there's no one goal of sex. It might be pleasure, which you can achieve without orgasm. Perhaps you want to feel desired or closer to your partner. You might want to cheer them up. Sex might be giving your mood a boost.
There's no one reason to have sex (or to masturbate!), and that's perfectly fine.

Myth: Women Only Want Sex for Men and Need to Be Convinced to Have It

Many women like sex and some enjoy and desire sex more than men or their partners. Secondly, we should never coerce people into sex. That only perpetuates rape culture. When it comes to sex, only an enthusiastic “Yes” is a yes.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

How to Talk About Sex Part Two: During Sex

Gentle young couple lying and making love in bed

Watching a hollywood sex scene would have you thinking that the way sex works is a neat little equation of two people making out, the scene fading to black, and some moaning. The next second, the pair is lying in bed with the sheets pulled up to their chests.

As much as movies and porn will try to make you believe it, sex is not seamless. Just as there are moans and giggles and pleasure, there are hydration breaks, spilled lube, an accidental knee to the stomach, and bumped teeth. There are farts and queefs and even *gasp* talking.

If you feel uncomfortable speaking up in bed, don’t worry, you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. Our culture tells us it’s weird and awkward to use our words during sex. We’re just expected to know exactly what to do. Of course, this isn’t the case at all, and it leaves so many people without the pleasure they deserve. In the heat of the moment, it can be so hard to say the words “Um, actually, my clit is a little to the right”, so here is a little guide with different ways to get you more comfortable using your voice in bed.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

How to Talk About Sex Part One: Before Sex

Tender young couple lying and hugging on couch

For some reason, sex tips from popular magazines always involve some type of physical movement. Usually it’s “wiggle your tongue this way” or “move your hand that way”. They’ll list uncomfortable, wild positions or expensive lingerie that they claim will get you in the right mood, which will naturally lead to flawless sex. Of course, in practice, these grand ideas often fall short.

The truth is, the best way to get the sex you want is to ask for it. Your partner can’t read your mind, and as effortless and perfect porn may make sex look, what porn and movies don’t show are the directions given beforehand on what the people should do to make it look so effortless. The reason it looks effortless is because they planned it to be that way by talking about it. This series on Cirilla’s Bedroom Insider tackles what you should be talking about to get the best sex ever, as well as ways to make talking about sex less awkward. Here we’ll focus on what to talk about before any sex even happens.

Protection and boundaries

Of course, the first step to getting the good stuff is avoiding the bad stuff. Talking about STI and pregnancy prevention methods and your personal sexual boundaries before you even hop into bed is a way to make sure everything is clear and laid out. It helps avoid stressful in-the-moment situations. Ask your partner about their preferences by simply saying “What sorts of pregnancy/STI protection do you use?” (For example: condoms, dental dams, hormonal contraceptives), and let your partner know your own protection preferences by saying something like “Is it cool if we use condoms? I get so much more into it if I know I’m having safe sex”. If you’re adventuring into kinky territory, come up with a safeword, and clarify boundaries by asking “Are there any parts of your body you don’t want touched?”.  If you explicitly mention what you don’t want, achieving what you do want will be so much easier.

Friday, April 28, 2017

12 Things Porn Gets Wrong

sexy couple in shower

With the ubiquity of porn, it seems like many people see others having sex before they take a sex ed class. Porn might be a great way to enjoy some downtime (and we have nothing against it in general), but it isn't a good source for sex ed (unless you're watching a hybrid porn/sex ed flick like those by jessica drake), and the lessons you take out from it can be misleading if not dangerous. It's not always easy to spot what's real, fake or harmful, either. Read on to discover 12 things porn gets wrong.

1. Perpetual Erections

Men in porn always have impressive boners. They never get soft. And they can keep it up, literally, for hours. But erections aren't always never-ending (nor does every man have an 8-inch penis – or need to!).

2. Cunnilingus

It's awesome to see people going down on women in porn as it's a reminder that the orgasm gap between men and women may slowly be closing. But you have to remember that porn is filmed to please the viewer (who is often male), and that what's happening may not be realistic.

When it comes to oral sex, this means there's more movement than there may actually be, including awkward motorboating of vulvas. You don't see the consistent techniques that are often necessary for a woman to get off. After all, that would quickly become boring for the audience.

3. No Foreplay

In porn, everyone is ready to go at a moment's notice. But that's now how it works in real life. Both men and women need some time to connect with their partners and bodies. Enter foreplay: making out, dry humping, fingering, oral sex and sensual massage, just to name a few. But these activities in porn films are often rushed and lackluster.

4. Long Fingernails

Most porn starlets have French tips that would be beautiful in most settings but don't actually make sense when it comes to sex, especially fingering. One of the basic tenets of fingering either a vagina or anus is to keep your nails tripped short and filed clean to prevent possible scratches or cuts in your partner's most intimate parts. And those scrapes aren't just painful in the moment; they can make it easier to get an infection (bacterial or STI).

If you do like your manicure, you can still finger someone. Just push a cotton ball into the end of a rubber glove that you wear during the activity to make it more comfortable and safe.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

What Goes in a Sex-On-The-Go Kit?

Woman holding condom behind her back

You’ve waited for this moment all day. Clothes are coming off, breathing is getting heavier, hands are roaming. As passions escalate, you both pause, looking at one another with the “time to get a condom” face. You didn’t bring one. They didn’t bring one. You’re condomless and heartbroken.

Whether you’re off on a one night stand, casual fling, or a date with your committed partner, being unprepared for a sexual encounter is certainly a mood-killer. To make things a bit easier, we recommend packing up a “sex-on-the-go” kit, a case filled with safer sex supplies and a few other handy tidbits to grab when you’re in a hurry. Of course, these are only a few ideas, and you’re free to take creative liberties as you please. Fit three condoms and a lube packet in a coin purse, or fill a backpack to the brim with dildos. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.

Barrier methods:

Whether you use condoms, dental dams, gloves, or in-condoms, a hookup kit always starts with safer-sex materials. Pack your favorite protection, but also keep a few different options on hand (non-latex if you don't know your partner’s allergies, or condoms of different sizes to ensure a comfortable and safer fit!). Remember that if this kit goes unused for some time to check the expiration dates, as expired condoms are more prone to breakage. (Bonus tip: In a pinch, a dental dam can be created by unrolling a condom and cutting it up the middle.)

Monday, April 17, 2017

Know Your Birth Control Options

Woman holding condoms

Birth control is crucial to preventing pregnancy, and you'll find the right option no matter your lifestyle, price range or preferences. But there are so many options, how do you choose the best fit? Keep reading to determine which birth control is for you.

Barrier Methods

A barrier method blocks sperm from moving into your uterus where it would fertilize the egg. Most barrier methods can be paired with spermicide to further increase efficacy. It is worth noting that Nonoxynol-9, which is the active ingredient in spermicide, is quite abrasive and can cause micro-tears to sensitive tissue. Studies have shown that using spermicide can actually increase the rate of STI transmission.

Barrier methods of birth control typically don't have the same sort of side effects as hormonal methods. You might have a reaction to latex in your condoms, but you can simply choose to use condoms made from a different material.


How it works: A thin sheath of latex (or polyurethane, lambskin or polyisoprene for those with a latex allergy) prevents ejaculate from leaving the vagina. Use a condom once and toss it.

You can buy condoms in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. They even come in various flavors. Some include lube and spermicide for extra protection. Unique textures can add to the experience.

Condoms are available from a variety of retailers at an affordable price, and you may be able to get them for free from your family planning provider.

Who it's for: Everyone who wants to prevent pregnancy and transmission of certain STIs, anyone who does not have birth control coverage, and people who do not like hormonal birth control.

Female Condoms

How it works: The female condom doesn't look like the male condom. It's a much larger bag-like tube with a reinforced lip that you pinch to insert. Part of the condom remains outside of the vagina,

Who it's for: People who want extra skin-to-skin STI protection, well-endowed partners, and women who want to take control of their sex lives.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

5 App-Controlled Sex Toys for Tech Geeks and Sex Geeks

Technology is advancing by leaps and bounds these days. TVs are getting bigger, phones are getting smaller, and even sex toys are getting upgrades. Gone are the days where the only sex toy options were a realistic dildo or a massive wand vibrator. This is the future, a future in which you (or your partner) can control your vibrator, butt plug, and more all from your phone. The toys below feature fun, interactive settings, neat ways to create your own patterns, and special features for long-distance play with a partner. Even better, they’re all rechargeable and made of body-safe silicone or ABS plastic. Whether your goal is to play in public or connect from across the world, these toys have you covered.
Ohmibod BlueMotion Bluetooth Vibrator

For Secretive Play: The Ohmibod BlueMotion Bluetooth Vibrator- $129.99
Compatible with: iPhones, iPads, iPod Touches and Android.

This handy-dandy panty vibe is designed to be placed in the included (one size fits most) thong underwear. Where you decide to wear it is up to you! The small vibrator itself features a shape contoured to the body, with a mound that rests over the clitoris, providing pleasure exactly where needed. The app features numerous ways to take control: using the volume control buttons on your phone, tapping your screen, waving the phone around in the air, voice control, and even an option to let music guide the vibrations. If these sound too fancy, no worries. There are four easy pre-set vibration patterns to choose from too.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Sex Toys for Men

Shirtless sexy male model lying alone on his bed
Although there aren't quite as many sex toy options for men, there may be more than you realize. From tools that make masturbation easier and more intense to sex toys that you can use during sex, there are plenty innovative sex toys for men on the market!


The Fleshlight might be the most men's toy available. It's encased in hard plastic that looks like a flashlight for giants. When you take off the cap, you're greeted by an opening – vagina, mouth or anus depending upon your model. Many are designed after famous porn starlets, and there's even a line designed after lusty male stars!

The soft material inside of Fleshlights surrounds your penis, and there are literally dozens of textures, some of which are limited edition. You'll be swatched in ridges, bumps, swirls and more. Can it get better? Yes!

Fleshlights allow you to add suction by twisting over the opposite end of the toy. Plus, you can choose the color of the case and sleeve, the latter which is available in clear, blue and beige. The Fleshlight you buy is unique to you.

Accessories allow you to mount your Fleshlight to the shower wall or use it with your iPad, too.

If you're looking for a similar toy, try the Autoblow line.


Strokers and other masturbators are made from soft materials. You use the grip of your hand to provide sensation, and you can easily rinse strokers before storing in between uses.

Masturbators come in all sorts of shape and sizes, from realistic body parts to contemporary designs that are more discreet. A few even allow you to use a bullet vibrator in conjunction. Sleeves aren't necessarily known for their resilience, and many of them eventually rip. But they can help you determine the materials and textures that you prefer.

One particular note is the Tenga brand whose disposable strokers come in adorable eggs that you break open to reveal their prize. The Soft Cup line encases the Tenga sleeves in an adjustable cup, and the Tenga Flip Zero Masturbator is a revolutionary sex toy that enables you to insert your penis seamlessly thanks to the folding design.

Another unique type of stroker is the kind that has a handle. Your penis slips through a hole similar to an enlarged bubble wand, and you use the handle to stroke yourself. These strokers may vibrate or have another function as is the case with the Sqweel. This sex toy for men features soft silicone “tongues” that lap at your shaft as you use it.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

How Sex Changes in Your Thirties

There's an adage that men reach their sexual peaks in their 20s while women reach their peaks in their 30s. Although it's obviously incorrect that a man will no longer desire sex once he reaches his thirtieth birthday, many women do feel more comfortable with their sexualities once they pass those same birthdays. Why is this?

Multiple factors are involved, and we'll discuss them.

  • They're more likely to be in a stable relationship. So they can ask for what you want without fear of judgment, and they've got time to explore anything from role playing to BDSM. Plus, you might focus on preventing pregnancy (or trying to get pregnant) without the fear of STI transmission so that you might ditch condoms for the first time in exchange for other types of birth control.
  • They're aware of how time is passing. Many people no longer feel young, mentally or physically, once they're in their thirties. Time is passing, and you can't get it back. So you try to make better use of time, and who has the time to be having bad or mediocre sex? This freedom allows women to speak up to get theirs when, previously, they may have just lay there and taken it.
  • They recognize that everyone is self-conscious about their bodies. Other women. Their partners. So they take a deep breath and get into positions that might not be flattering but feel good. They have sex with the light on for the first time. They're sexually emboldened and having better sex because of it!
  • They've had more partners and more time to masturbate. This allows women to better know what they like, which is vastly different from what men may like or even other women. The knowledge paired with a little timely impatience means women go for what they want.
  • They've ditched culturally-imbued slut-shaming. Humans like sex, both men and women! But girls and women are often taught that it's bad to show this desire. Once a woman hits thirty, she might give up on denying herself that pleasure for another decade, and we think that's great!