Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Friday, April 28, 2017

12 Things Porn Gets Wrong

sexy couple in shower

With the ubiquity of porn, it seems like many people see others having sex before they take a sex ed class. Porn might be a great way to enjoy some downtime (and we have nothing against it in general), but it isn't a good source for sex ed (unless you're watching a hybrid porn/sex ed flick like those by jessica drake), and the lessons you take out from it can be misleading if not dangerous. It's not always easy to spot what's real, fake or harmful, either. Read on to discover 12 things porn gets wrong.

1. Perpetual Erections


Men in porn always have impressive boners. They never get soft. And they can keep it up, literally, for hours. But erections aren't always never-ending (nor does every man have an 8-inch penis – or need to!).

2. Cunnilingus


It's awesome to see people going down on women in porn as it's a reminder that the orgasm gap between men and women may slowly be closing. But you have to remember that porn is filmed to please the viewer (who is often male), and that what's happening may not be realistic.

When it comes to oral sex, this means there's more movement than there may actually be, including awkward motorboating of vulvas. You don't see the consistent techniques that are often necessary for a woman to get off. After all, that would quickly become boring for the audience.


3. No Foreplay


In porn, everyone is ready to go at a moment's notice. But that's now how it works in real life. Both men and women need some time to connect with their partners and bodies. Enter foreplay: making out, dry humping, fingering, oral sex and sensual massage, just to name a few. But these activities in porn films are often rushed and lackluster.

4. Long Fingernails


Most porn starlets have French tips that would be beautiful in most settings but don't actually make sense when it comes to sex, especially fingering. One of the basic tenets of fingering either a vagina or anus is to keep your nails tripped short and filed clean to prevent possible scratches or cuts in your partner's most intimate parts. And those scrapes aren't just painful in the moment; they can make it easier to get an infection (bacterial or STI).

If you do like your manicure, you can still finger someone. Just push a cotton ball into the end of a rubber glove that you wear during the activity to make it more comfortable and safe.


5. Position Switching


Switching it up unrealistically doesn't just happen during oral sex. To keep things interesting, actors switch positions all the time. They might even do it in between cuts, so you don't see the actual transition.

Why is this a problem? It leads people to switch positions just because they think they should. If you're one of the people who needs consistent stimulation to achieve pleasure or orgasm, you know exactly what we're talking about. It's absolutely okay if you stick to the same position or two if it gets the job done.


6. Lesbians Scissoring


According to porn, lesbians get down by scissoring. After all, this awkward position brings their genitals in contact. In real life, women enjoy a multitude of other positions and activities including oral and manual stimulation, strap-ons and playing with sex toys. Many of them have tried scissoring but just didn't get anything out of it.

7. Condoms + Birth Control


Talking about protection isn't exactly sexy so that you won't see a lot of it in porn. However, it's something everyone should be doing with new partners. And if you use a cervical cap, sponge or NuvaRing, you're not going to see anyone popping it in before sex in porn.

8. Orgasm Without Clitoral Simulation


Many women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, but porn would have us believe that they'll magically orgasm from the special touch of a penis or toy, even if it's nowhere near the clitoris. No wonder so many women think they can't orgasm from sex – they're just not getting what they actually need.


9. Simultaneous Orgasm


Both men and women fake it in porn, which is a shame. We should never have to fake orgasm! When you're faking it, it's easy to create the impression of simultaneous orgasm, which some people tout as the ultimate goal in sex. While simultaneous orgasm can be nice and achievable, it's not possible or even preferable for everyone.


10. Ass-to-Mouth or Ass-to-Vagina


We get it. There's something appealing about these taboo subjects, and some people do participate in these activities. But they're not hygienic and can even lead to bacterial infections because different bacteria live in the anus than the mouth or vagina. So keep that in mind after having anal sex.

11. Lack of Diversity


In the real world, not everyone is Hollywood attractive. Breasts come in all shapes and sizes, even those that don't match. The same is true for vulvas, penises and any other part of the human body. People who are tall, short, thin, fat, dark and light all have sex with each other (and themselves), but what you see in porn represents only a small portion of what exists.

This can be detrimental to someone's self-confidence if they don't see people who look like they do on the screen.


12. LGBTQ Representation


The falseness of lesbian scenes is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how mainstream porn deals with members of the LGBTQ community. Gays and lesbians simply cater to the view of straight watchers, and the lack of genuine representation of trans people (who aren't “she-males”) is appealing. Porn also suggests that every woman is bi, even if she doesn't know it. The real world doesn't quite work that way.

It might seem like porn doesn't get anything right, but it all depends on the porn you watch. There are certain companies, directors and actors working toward making authentic and safe porn where the viewer knows the actors are truly enjoying themselves. It can take a bit of work to find those films, but it's well worth it. And you don't need to stop watching your favorite film just because it's problematic as long as you acknowledge the fact that porn has flaws.

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

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