You know, there’s this pervasive idea that masturbation makes partnered sex less fun. While it certainly can cool off one's raging libido, masturbation is definitely no substitute for a cuddles, smiles and everything else a partner brings into your sex and life. Even more, when done with care, masturbation actually does way more good than most people give it credit for.
Let's take a moment to think about the phrase "masturbation makes sex less fun;" there's so many problems with it. Like, firstly, masturbation is sex. I know people usually mean partnered sex, but masturbation can and often does happen during sex with someone(s) else, so... what's the problem?
Though I feign ignorance, I know that beneath all various complaints about masturbation, the true problem: fear that our partners can be replaced by the convenience of masturbation alone.
There's so much more to sex than masturbation can provide. Even the pleasure of masturbation isn't quite the same as the pleasure of intercourse or even simply human connection. Still they aren't at odds. In fact, here’s a few of the most thrilling ways masturbation can make your partnered sex even hotter!
Knowing how to please yourself is essential to pleasing others and better sex overall. Luckily, masturbation is a crash course in what gets you off. RuPaul said it best, “if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else.” Yeah, she's talking about love of self in a spiritual sense, rather than masturbation. Still, the statement holds true.
Although learning to pleasure yourself is incredibly important, with all the stress and hustle of life, few people ever learn how to enjoy this essential bit of self-care. It’s not so hard to do, but it does require you learn to stay in touch with your body. Because it's a freaking superstar, masturbation is one of the easiest and most effective ways to stay in contact with your body.
Your body is always communicating, but in its own unique language. As you learn more about pleasure in general, you'll also come to learn how to tune into your body. Masturbation puts you in the position to best understand what your body is trying to say. Pleasure offers very noticeable feedback to your brain through your hands and whatever else your touching.
Even if you’re pretty familiar with what you enjoy, a bit of experimentation can take you far. Masturbation, puts the pleasure completely in your hands... or devices. As such, you ca touch, rub, squeeze and caress absolutely anything on your body. You are free to ride the wave of pleasure wherever it takes you. You might be surprised by you learn about what you enjoy and everything you learn you can take back to share with your partners.
Learning to please yourself to your best ability, will lead to a more consistent and understandable sex drive. So, you will also find that masturbation makes you want to have sex more often and for longer periods. It takes a little more work for some people to figure out how to do that without the energy drain of ejaculation, but dang it masturbation helps with that, too.
No matter what kind of genital configuration you're rocking, orgasms alone tend to have an energizing effect on the body. Very few kinds of orgasms involve ejaculation, yet people usually experience only one of just a few kinds. With all the other benefits of masturbation, you can begin to ejaculate less and orgasm a whole lot more. Yes, that means even those who are ejaculating a little bit too soon can find some relief, too.
Utilizing a bit of patience, open mind, lube and deep purposeful breaths, you can follow previously undisturbed paths to quivery, gentle, thunderous, loud, sudden, throbbing, energizing, and all the other kinds of orgasms you can experience. You can even enjoy your orgasm during masturbation to charge your sexual energy and to save the ejaculation for your partnered sex. In essence masturbation can be used as strength and endurance training for your libido.
While, of course, you can experience all this on your own, you can also experience these things with a partner as well. Whether you masturbate mutually or alone together, you’re sharing an experience of pleasure along with all the knowledge you’ve gained about how to please your respective bodies. Share your knowledge back and forth for results that will confirm what I’ve already proven: Masturbation, when done with purpose, makes your partnered sex even hotter!
By: Jerome Stuart Nichols
Follow on Twitter @NotJeromeStuart
