Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.


Monday, September 26, 2016

Kinky Toys for Couples

Riding crop, a whip flogger and blindfold mask on red satin, kinky sex toys for dom / sub sexual games and other forms of kink
If you and your partner are just venturing into kink, you might not know where to start. There are plenty of toys available to satiate your every desire, but there are also those that are quite costly or unsuitable for the newly-kinky couple. Below you'll find some of the most common toys you may want to add to your toy box, so they'll be ready for the next playtime.


1. Blindfolds


The blindfold is simple and might seem, to some, like it's not adding a whole lot to your kinky repertoire. But they're wrong! Simply blinding yourself – or your partner – can heighten playtime. Plus, an elastic blindfold can double as a sleep mask when it's not playtime.

Even if you do the same things you always do, you'll feel an increased sense of anticipation when waiting for your partner's next move or touch. And all that anticipation? Leads to an increased payoff in the end!

The blindfolds that come with other kits tend to be low quality and quite small. If you want to achieve full blackout, choose a blindfold that has a more defined shape in front and is larger than the space around your eyes. Elastic means a blindfold will fit a variety of wearers, but some are adjustable.


2. Restraints


The concept of restraints is actually quite broad. There are many times, from those that simple bind together ankles or wrists (or both) to those that secure over doors or under beds to restraints that are standalone furniture. Most people don't have the space or desire for the latter, so we'll focus on the most common and accessible.

Cuffs come in many shapes, colors and sizes. They'll be wider and longer for use on ankles as opposed to wrists. You can get them in leather, nylon and metal, among other materials. They secure with Velcro, padlocks, metal mechanisms or through loops similar to belts.

Do you want cuffs that look pretty but are more delicate? Do looks matter less than performance? You can start with Velcro cuffs as you become comfortable with the idea. Metal cuffs with a quick release also provide a sense of assurance to new kinky players. But as you demand more from your cuffs, a pair of locking, leather cuffs might become your prize.

Cuffs can attach to pretty much anything, too. Wrap them around the shower rod or headboard. Secure wrist and ankle cuffs together so your partner is perfectly hogtied. Switch our your favorite cuffs with the generic ones that come with restraint systems.

We especially like under-the-bed-restraints, which fit under your top mattress and rely on your own weight to create resistance. A single, able-bodied person can “install” the restraints; although, it'll go easier with help. These systems typically come with their own novice-friendly cuffs, so you can use you're comfortable enough to do so.


3. Spanking Instruments


Rest assured that you don't need anything for a good spanking. The warmth of your hand will do the trick. But if you want to give your hand a break or provide your partner with a new sensation, then it's time to do some shopping.

There are a number of spanking instruments available:

  • Paddles are narrow, flat spanking instruments. They may be outfitted in leather, fur or another material. They sometimes have words embossed into them to create an imprint on your skin.
  • Slappers are similar to paddles, but they have another layer that delivers a secondary blow after the slapper makes contact.
  • Whips have a single tail and you “throw” them through the air to create contact. Whips require more practice than paddles and can cut open the skin. Be sure to practice on a pillow to perfect your aim.
  • Floggers are multi-tailed toys made from fur, leather, silicone or nylon, among other materials. You can purchase beginner-friendly floggers with shorter tails that are easier to manipulate or made from softer materials. It's generally easier to swing a flogger softer than you can a whip, and you can swing from above, below or in a Figure-8 pattern.
  • Canes are narrow metal or wooden rods that you smack across your partner's backside. They're especially severe, so work your way through other spanking items before trying the cane.
  • Crops are designed after horse-riding crops. They consist of a short rod and a flat, leather end. A basic end is a folded piece of leather; although, some crops come with ends shaped like hearts or some other novelty shape.

Anything can be used as a spanking implement, of course. A kitchen spatula has its own impact, even though it wasn't designed for kinksters.


4. Ball Gags


Most people don't think about mouth bondage, but ball gags fill that need quite nicely. A gag can quiet someone who tends to be loud, or you might just like it for the power play. The gag prevents speaking while allowing breathing to continue unhindered. Some gags can create quite the mess, too. If you're a dominant, then you'll love seeing your partner unable to speak thanks to a ball gag.

Gags come in the traditional ball shape, including those with breathing holes, cylinders that may be more suitable for your mouth shape/size and even novelty shapes such as a penis. You can start with a smaller gag – they're measured by diameter – and try to move your way up as you go.

Gags secure with straps like other restraints. Some use Velcro or elastic while others rely on buckles to stay in place no matter what you might be doing while wearing one.

With these basics in your toy box, you can create a variety of scenes. We recommend caution whenever trying something new. For example, add a blindfold to regular sex by itself. Have cuffed sex with your eyes unencumbered. Then, you can combine the two. Start with the lightest of spankings and increase intensity. Plus, an elastic blindfold can double as a sleep mask when it's not playtime.

Being kinky isn't a race, and you can do real damage to yourself or your partner if you rush. But if you take your time to explore the toys and options available to you, you might find yourself having the best sex of your life!

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r

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