Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Tips for a Safe Hookup

fashion studio photo of impassioned beautiful couple. sexy woman with blond hair and handsome brunette man
Now more than ever, hookups are on trend. There's no need to spend countless dates getting to know a good-looking stranger if all you want is something physical. Hookups allow both men and women to get theirs, and there's certainly nothing wrong with them.

However, a hookup isn't without risk, especially with apps and sites that match you up with strangers about whom you might not have a lot of information. Follow our advice for a hookup that's both safe and sexy.

Don't Forget About Safer Sex During Your Hookups

To start, you want to have safer sex. This means protecting against pregnancy and STI transmission. Even if you're on a type of birth control (the pill, patch or shot, for example), using condoms is important to protect against sexually transmitted infections. We don't mean to imply that your hookup partner is hiding anything from you, but some STIs can fly under the radar. Even if you're a woman, bring your own condoms just to be covered.

With that in mind, condoms don't protect against every type of infection. HPV, for example, is one STI that can be passed on via skin-to-skin contact, so condoms won't be effective. It's always smart to disclose your STI status before hooking up with someone, but this may not be possible or practical with a one-night stand, so safety is a must!

Some people like to go the extra mile by bringing along dental dams, which you can use when performing oral sex on a partner to reduce the risk of STI transmission. Non-latex gloves are great during manual stimulation, especially of the anus.

The last thing you should add to your safer sex kit is lubrication. It makes things slippery and smooth. It can also prevent micro-abrasions from the friction of sex, which sounds pretty safe to us! If you show up prepared for sex, your partner will definitely be impressed.

Your Personal Safety During a Hookup

In the age of cell phones, you might not know much about your partner. Perhaps you met him on Grindr or her on Tinder. Even if you met this person in a bar, you don't know much about them. Typically, women are more worried about their safety, but both men and women can benefit from taking a few steps to create a safe and fun experience.

  1. Inform a trusted friend that you plan to meet/go home with a stranger.
  2. Choose a check-in time with your friend. If you don't call, he or she can call you or even alert authorities. Be sure to check in at this time, even if you're having a good time and have lost track of time. Setting an alarm on your phone is the perfect way to not forget.
  3. Provide your trusted person with as much information about your partner as possible: name, address, phone number, photo, vehicle make/model and license plate number etc.
  4. Talk to the person on the phone before you meet to get a feel for his or her personality.
  5. Meet in a public place to check this person out if possible. If you get any negative vibes, you're free to leave.
  6. If possible, do not partake of any alcohol. Make sure you're in control of your decisions and actions.
  7. Take your own vehicle/form of transportation if going to his/her place.
  8. Don't take any valuables, just in case.
  9. Make note of points of ingress and keys.

You can also consider using a fake name and telephone number. Service such as Google Voice provide an alternative number, so you don't have to give yours out. You'd be surprised how much information a person can find out about you through your phone number!

Note that most of these tips require you to do some planning. Hookups are sometimes spontaneous; although, you may want to wait a bit if you can't ensure that you'll have a safe experience. This can even heighten sexual tension between the two of you.

Hopefully, you have nothing to worry about, and you'll have a sexy time. You never know if it might turn into something more. However, we have one more piece of advice for your hookup.

Boundaries and Consent

Discuss safe words. A safe words is something you say when sex is becoming too intense and you need to pause or stop an activity. Safe words are generally used in BDSM, but they can be useful when you're not familiar or completely comfortable with your partner. In BDSM, they advise against using words such as “Stop” or “No,” which may be used in a role. Find a word that the two of you agrees upon.

Setting a safe word or at least discussing boundaries ensures that you have a mutually-satisfying experience. If your partner is okay talking about boundaries, you can feel more comfortable. But if he or she is resistant to discussing boundaries, you might not feel comfortable saying no to activities, such as anal, that you normally wouldn't do.

The goal is to leave your hookup feeling satisfied and, hopefully, orgasmic. There should be no guilt, shame or confusion, and you definitely shouldn't feel like you've been taken advantage of.

Most of these rules for a safe and sexy hookup are common sense. However, common sense can fly right out the window when you're facing the prospect of having sex with a stunning stranger. Take a few moments to check this list and check in with a friend. Happy humping!

By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r