Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Dirty Talk for Shy Women

Dirty Talk for Shy Women

How many times have you been in the grocery store checkout line and seen the latest copy of Cosmo on the racks? Have you noticed how often the headlines include something about “talking dirty” for your man? It’s a popular topic and especially with the increase in sexting and online chats. But there are many other ways to utilize dirty talk or you may prefer naughty talk.

I’ve talked to many women that are intrigued by the idea of talking “dirty” to their partner, but they are concerned about how it may be perceived or they may not be comfortable using graphic words. Let’s talk about some ways you can work around both of these concerns.

How Will May Partner Feel About Talking Dirty

This is a logical concern and especially for women who tend to be more reserved or conservative. So, let’s look at some ways to ease into talking dirty. That will give you a chance to test the waters and see how your partner will respond.

You can start with some simple things. When he kisses you and especially if he kisses your neck or another spot you enjoy, moan softly. It doesn’t have to be an exaggerated moan, just enough to let him hear and to vocalize you are enjoying what he’s doing. You can also send a message or a text that says something as simple as “I can’t wait to see you when you get home” or maybe “I’d love to set aside some private time with you tonight”.

How to Reply to Him

Those comments are easy and simple, and should get a reaction. But you need to be ready for a reaction and follow through with your reply. If you moan and he likes it, next time moan a little louder and say something like “Mmmm that feels so good.” Remember that your tone of voice will make a difference in how it sounds and how he reacts.

If you text him and he replies with interest, you need to encourage him. You could follow up either of the ideas above, with something like “We need some private time together” or “Let’s turn down the lights, light some candles, and enjoy each other tonight.” Or something that sets the mood for him. You don’t need to elaborate on exactly what you would do to him or with him graphically, but start hinting at kissing, cuddling, taking a shower together, and on and on.

How to Turn Up the Heat

None of the suggestions above are graphic or drastic, but you should notice some reactions. Also keep in mind that many men like it when their woman makes the first move. Consider that he likely initiates most of the intimacy in your relationship and he would love for you to show your interest in him for a change.

When you want to turn up the heat – even if only a couple of degrees, these are some phrases you can try. Don’t worry about memorizing and reciting things back to your man. Instead, take a look at these ideas and think about what you would feel comfortable saying. Like I always say in my product reviews – get creative and have fun!

Which of these phrases do you like the best and what variations would you try? Feel free to share your thoughts below. Try saying these out loud and practice saying them in different ways, different tones of voice, start with a moan, whisper or say it slowly. There are lots of ways to make it sound sexier, just play with the possibilities and the more you say things, the easier it becomes over time.

Some ideas to get things started.

Does this look good?

You drive me crazy when you look at me like that.

You drive me crazy when you look like that.

Your wish is my command.

How do you want me?

Tonight – I’m in charge.

Tell me what you want.

For the next hour, I want to make you feel very good.

When things are getting more physical, you can try these -

I love when you kiss my ____.

Will you say my name when you do that?

Does that feel good?

Tell me what you want me to do for you.

I love it when you nibble on my ______.

What do you want tonight?

And, when you are ready to speed things up, try this.

I want to get naked with you now.

Use your mouth on my _____.

I want you so bad

You make me so horny

How do I taste?

Touch yourself and let me watch you.

Just about any time, your partner will like to hear one of these.

Oh, do that again!

I want more.

It is your turn. What will you say to your partner? Try out some ideas and when you find out he likes it, keep trying new things and just have fun. In the moment, if you want to say something more graphic, give it a try – but whatever you decide to say and do, keep having fun doing things you both enjoy.

By Nikki Leigh

1 comment :

  1. i'm very vocal when i'm being pleasured, either by him or if i'm masturbating. i moan, scream, but it seemed like i never said a word. when i first met my current husband, he told me to tell him what i wanted, for how long, and in what position i wanted it. i became a "dirty talker" 30 minutes after he walked in my door.
    he'd already fingered me to 2 orgasms while still on the couch, i decided it was time to get to the bedroom, i stood up and told him, "were going to the bedroom where you can fuck me properly" i led him down the hallway, almost to the door i couldnt wait any longer, i knelt down in front of him and demanded that he "show me your cock, i want to suck it right now" he slowly unzipped his jeans, i hurriedly grabbed it and started to pull it out. OMFG!!
    it just kept coming out, i muttered half to myself, "gawd, thats long... and wide.. i dont think it's gonna fit"!!!
    i took as much of him as i could into my mouth, as he leaned up against the wall..
    a few minutes of me "struggling" and he pulled me up, picked me up and tossed me on the bed. as i bounced, he kicked off his jeans, and stripped off his shirt.
    he asked what i'd like.. "eat my pussy" was all i could think of to say. he was obedient, his tongue founds it's way to places i didnt know i had, his fingers danced between my pussy and virgin ass. i was soon coming again, and again, and again.
    i finally had to push him away, my head was spinning,ears were ringing, and i could barely speak !!
    i'd had 5 orgasms already, all i wanted was his cock now. i reached out to grab him, "i want to suck you more before you fuck me" i could barely get the head into my mouth, but i tried so hard to take more.
    he pushed me back on the bed, got between my spread legs again, and licked my lips, and all in one motion pulled himself up ad inside me. "OMFG i'm gonna cum again" he worked his "magic" on me, stopping, starting, faster and slow, changing positions.. i felt another orgasm building, screamed "i'm gonna cum, fill my pussy with your cum, hurry, hurry"
    we both exploded at the same time !!
    later that night we had 2 more repeat performances. the next morning i was awake early, slipped out of bed, and made a call to my best friend. i was telling her about the night before, and how naughty i had been, she asked what was up with all the dirty talk?
    seems he brought out the "best" in me...
    little did i know he was standing behind me listening to me..
    he knelt down in front of me, lifted the long tshirt i was wearing, and started kissing my inner thighs, i dropped the phone on the floor, my GF heard a LOT of dirty talking going on, she never hung up....