Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Dirty Talk for Shy Women

Dirty Talk for Shy Women

How many times have you been in the grocery store checkout line and seen the latest copy of Cosmo on the racks? Have you noticed how often the headlines include something about “talking dirty” for your man? It’s a popular topic and especially with the increase in sexting and online chats. But there are many other ways to utilize dirty talk or you may prefer naughty talk.

I’ve talked to many women that are intrigued by the idea of talking “dirty” to their partner, but they are concerned about how it may be perceived or they may not be comfortable using graphic words. Let’s talk about some ways you can work around both of these concerns.

How Will May Partner Feel About Talking Dirty

This is a logical concern and especially for women who tend to be more reserved or conservative. So, let’s look at some ways to ease into talking dirty. That will give you a chance to test the waters and see how your partner will respond.

You can start with some simple things. When he kisses you and especially if he kisses your neck or another spot you enjoy, moan softly. It doesn’t have to be an exaggerated moan, just enough to let him hear and to vocalize you are enjoying what he’s doing. You can also send a message or a text that says something as simple as “I can’t wait to see you when you get home” or maybe “I’d love to set aside some private time with you tonight”.

How to Reply to Him

Those comments are easy and simple, and should get a reaction. But you need to be ready for a reaction and follow through with your reply. If you moan and he likes it, next time moan a little louder and say something like “Mmmm that feels so good.” Remember that your tone of voice will make a difference in how it sounds and how he reacts.

If you text him and he replies with interest, you need to encourage him. You could follow up either of the ideas above, with something like “We need some private time together” or “Let’s turn down the lights, light some candles, and enjoy each other tonight.” Or something that sets the mood for him. You don’t need to elaborate on exactly what you would do to him or with him graphically, but start hinting at kissing, cuddling, taking a shower together, and on and on.

How to Turn Up the Heat

None of the suggestions above are graphic or drastic, but you should notice some reactions. Also keep in mind that many men like it when their woman makes the first move. Consider that he likely initiates most of the intimacy in your relationship and he would love for you to show your interest in him for a change.

When you want to turn up the heat – even if only a couple of degrees, these are some phrases you can try. Don’t worry about memorizing and reciting things back to your man. Instead, take a look at these ideas and think about what you would feel comfortable saying. Like I always say in my product reviews – get creative and have fun!

Which of these phrases do you like the best and what variations would you try? Feel free to share your thoughts below. Try saying these out loud and practice saying them in different ways, different tones of voice, start with a moan, whisper or say it slowly. There are lots of ways to make it sound sexier, just play with the possibilities and the more you say things, the easier it becomes over time.

Some ideas to get things started.

Does this look good?

You drive me crazy when you look at me like that.

You drive me crazy when you look like that.

Your wish is my command.

How do you want me?

Tonight – I’m in charge.

Tell me what you want.

For the next hour, I want to make you feel very good.

When things are getting more physical, you can try these -

I love when you kiss my ____.

Will you say my name when you do that?

Does that feel good?

Tell me what you want me to do for you.

I love it when you nibble on my ______.

What do you want tonight?

And, when you are ready to speed things up, try this.

I want to get naked with you now.

Use your mouth on my _____.

I want you so bad

You make me so horny

How do I taste?

Touch yourself and let me watch you.

Just about any time, your partner will like to hear one of these.

Oh, do that again!

I want more.

It is your turn. What will you say to your partner? Try out some ideas and when you find out he likes it, keep trying new things and just have fun. In the moment, if you want to say something more graphic, give it a try – but whatever you decide to say and do, keep having fun doing things you both enjoy.

By Nikki Leigh