Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Masturbation Tips: For Men and Women

Female Hand In Pants Masturbation

One would think that masturbation would come naturally, that we would do it easily and often. Unfortunately, most of us were taught masturbation is bad when we were young. Many others were simply not told about it at all. Self-pleasure is something our bodies don’t always figure out on their own. If you haven’t spent a whole lot of time exploring your body or getting to know what types of pleasure you enjoy, you may not know what really rings your bell when it comes to masturbation. You might be using the same technique your whole life a “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” kind of way. These tips might help you get started if you haven’t explored much or give you something you may never have thought to try. They’re useful to all genders and orientations, so pick and choose what you like.

How We Work

Your body responds to both touch and pressure. There are well known highly sensitive areas like the clitoris for women and the frenulum for men, but there are many other areas that can be stimulated during masturbation. The clitoris has an external nub (glans) and extends into your body cradling the urethra and vagina. It is estimated there are about 8,000 nerve endings in the glans alone. The urethral sponge (area between the clitoris nub and the vagina) and the perineal sponge (area between the vagina and the anus) are sensitive to touch and pressure. Basically you have the entire area from your pubis to your anus as a self-pleasure playground. Clitoral stimulation may be your go-to way to get off but don’t forget these other areas. The penis is most sensitive at the glans (the head of the penis), particularly underneath at the area called the frenulum, but also along the underside of the shaft. The frenulum has just as many nerve endings as the clitoris. The penis is not the only area that feels good, pay some attention to the testicles and the perineum (area between the anus and testicles) and don’t forget the anus, which has many nerve endings. Anal play and fingering can add so much more to the experience.

Hands on experimentation

Learning about your body is a great way to find more ways to enjoy yourself. Vulva and vagina owners, take some time to get better acquainted with this part of your body. Lie down, get comfortable, maybe light some candles or put on some relaxing sexy music. Get out some lube and let your fingers take a leisurely trip around your secret garden. The clitoris is an amazing organ with a majority of it extending inside your body. (cue the “It’s bigger on the inside.” Doctor Who reference) You can stimulate it in more areas than just the nub that is exposed. Investigate your clitoris in different ways, apply pressure around the nub, massage or tap on the area surrounding it. You can use your fingers on the urethral sponge and perineum, touch and explore both your labia minora and labia majora, get to know your vagina a little better, maybe even find that g-spot you might have found elusive. Same thing for penis owners, the frenulum has lots of nerve ending so take time to experiment with pressure and touch. Explore the glans and under the corona (corona and sulcus is the edge around head of the penis and the underside area), and the underside of the shaft. Don’t ignore the testicles, as they like to be touched too. Also pay some attention to the perineum and the anus. And don’t forget to use lots of lube. Both penis and vagina owners shouldn’t forget other non-genital areas that feel great. Touch your nipples, your thighs, your lips (lots of nerve endings there), your butt, and your stomach.

Try Something Different

Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. It’s a good feeling rut so we don’t think to veer from the path. While the same old same old may do the trick, you’re not giving another possibly wonderful technique its chance to shine in the sun. Try something new, something different or something you haven’t tried in a while. Use a different hand, use both hands, penis owners can use different grips like turning your hand over to stroke or using a twisting motion. If you’re used to lying there relaxed but somewhat passive, try moving your hips more. Keeping your hands more stationary and letting your body get into it could mean a whole new level of arousal. Lie on your stomach and thrust onto (vulva owners) or into (penis owners) your hand. Try different positions, you don’t always have to be on your back. Try on your knees, on all fours, standing while leaning over something or sitting in a chair. Use just the tips of your fingers or the palm of your hand. You can even vary what you use to get you in the mood. Try some porn, a different kind of porn than you already watch, or read some hot erotica. Try different music, something rough and sexy or something slow and smooth. Experiment with a different location like the shower or bath using the water, a waterproof vibe, a sponge or even a suction cup dildo. In any location you can chose whether to have the lights on or lights off to change the mood. Playing with temperature like ice can be a fun addition.

Try a New Toy

A vibrator or dildo is the usual choice for the vagina owners while the penis owners often use a stroker. The shapes, styles, colors and sizes of vibrators seems endless. Experiment with a different shape, or a vibe with varying speeds and rhythms. If you favor a clitoral stimulator, try a g-spot vibe or a good rabbit vibrator instead. Penis owners can try a variety of strokers from the simple flexible sleeves to closed end strokers with a hard shell.  Strokers have a wide variety of textures and you can even take a flexible stroker like the Tenga Egg and place it inside out on a wand massager. Vibrators and massagers can be used on a penis for added stimulation. Use it on the penis itself or at the base and perineum. You can take your solo play up a notch and put a vibrator or dildo on a piece of sex furniture like the Liberator Bon Bon or Wing so you can use it like you’re with a partner. Try DIY toys like an electric toothbrush or a pillow; try lube or vasaline inside a plastic bag to simulate penetrative sex for a penis. Adding a warm towel is supposed to complete the feeling of real life penetration. Don’t forget anal toys, a plug or beads can heighten your pleasure.

Final Thoughts

There’s more to masturbation that just stroking it. By varying your technique or adding a new toy, you can take things to new heights while getting to know yourself better. 

By: Technogeisha
Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha