Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Sexy Role-Play: Let’s Pretend!

SexyYoung Woman in Sexy Lingerie Holds Handcuffs

Your biggest sex organ is your brain. Using your imagination to channel ideas into sexy role-play can be very hot. Erotic role-play can help in a number of ways. Here are some role-play tips and ideas to find the level of role-play that suits you.

Character Development

First, what kind of role-play do you want to play? There are basics that come to mind, just don’t limit yourself. Think about your favorite story or fantasy. It can be as basic as a repairman fantasy or you’re really hot for firefighters. Maybe you think the barista is really sexy or perhaps you’ve always been hot for teacher (I brought my pencil). You can also think literary or cinematically so look into acting out a character in your favorite book or movie. You may have a TV character you really like. This is also a good time to look into edgy or unusual role-play. Pretending as characters is a great way to explore fantasies you may have been uncomfortable sharing or acting out before. Talk it over with your partner; they may have some great ideas to share.

Playing The Part

Once you’ve figure out what kind of role-play you want to try, you need to agree on how to go about it. Not all of us are comfortable acting out roles. Sometimes you can feel a little self conscious as you try to come up with things to say or you may feel silly wearing an outfit. If costumes feel like a bit too much, just try acting out the parts first. Go over your ideas beforehand; what role each of you will play, what are your goals, what is completely out of bounds, and if you want a cue or safeword that ends the scene. It’s ok to start with something simple. You don’t want to be so caught up with characters and costumes that it’s not sexy anymore. It can be as simple as, “when I come home tonight, I’m going to pretend I’m delivering pizza or come to fix your sink.” Or “At dinner lets pretend to be a king and his servant girl” or “Let’s act out this scene in this book tonight.” And if saying the words in character makes you or your partner laugh, that’s perfectly fine. It is role ‘play’ after all. Keep in mind that a sense of humor is sexy; so don’t take yourself too seriously. If playing the part throws you into a fit of giggles, just have a good laugh and move on. Laughter is sexy too.

Getting Into Costume

For some just acting out the role isn’t going to cut it. The only way they can really get into character is by putting on the costume. This is also an alternative to acting out the roles as you can just don the outfit. Some people find just being in a sexy costume like a saloon girl, sexy cowgirl or nurses uniform changes their perception of who they are, helping them to be less inhibited. There is a bevy of classic characters; doctor, nurse, cop, firefighter, maid, butler, royalty, servant, superhero, villain, cheerleader, athlete, boss, secretary, teacher, student, flight attendant, pilot, delivery person or repair person. Try something a little different like a chef or a period costume or something futuristic (think robot sex!). It’s a good time to experiment with roles you’re not sure if you’re ready for, like being dominant or submissive. Dressing up like a dominatrix may be a fun way to explore that fantasy without really getting into too much BDSM. You can wear as little or as much as you want. You can get an inexpensive Halloween costume or go full out and have someone make you the perfect outfit. Keep in mind that you will want to get out of it at some point so make sure it doesn’t hamper your progress and kill the mood. Just like acting out the role, if you start to feel silly or something won’t come off, be ready to laugh, relax and keep having a good time. Even experienced burlesque performers have reverse wardrobe malfunctions sometimes. I’ve seen them wrestle off a particularly stubborn piece of clothing and still keep it hot with the right attitude.

Other Role-play Ideas

Role-play is also a good way to try something edgy in a safe environment. You can cross dress and switch roles. You can try age play where one of you acts like a child, teenager or college student. A chef and server/guest role-play could include some erotic food play if you’re looking to take things up a notch. You can explore a more feral part of yourself by pretending to be animals. You can go all out like a furry (yep, people do this and it’s totally cool) or you can just take on the characteristics of an animal that makes you feel sexy or confident. In kink communities there different kinds of animal role-play like pony play (the person is costumed and pretends to be a horse and trainer) even puppy and kitten play (see pony play but at puppies/dogs or cats/kittens) so the possibilities are endless. You can pretend you’ve met a stranger and decided to take them home. You can pretend this goes well, or pretend that it doesn’t if you’re interested in exploring consensual non-consent. This means playing the “victim” but in a super safe way with LOTS of preparation and communication. You might be into clowns (Yes, this is a thing!) and not know it until you try. You may have a voyeur or exhibitionist fantasy where you just want to watch your partner from afar or be forced to watch while you are tied up.

Something For Everyone

Don’t be afraid to try something new but there’s also nothing wrong with playing the favorites. As with everything, it takes communication and an open mind. If you don’t feel comfortable coming right out with a suggestion, try reading a story together, or showing them a favorite scene. Make sure your partner is on board before committing to something expensive or elaborate. Also, make sure you’re supportive of each other’s fantasies; don’t make fun of their particular flavor. That Team Rocket (Pokémon role-play anyone?) your partner wants to try might be really hot. Also, don’t be insecure if your partner wants you to role-play someone you think is “cooler” than you. They’re not judging you by asking you to be they’re favorite rock star, celebrity or character. Explore your creative side; it’s not just for Halloween. Getting into character has never been sexier.

By: Technogeisha
Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha


  1. CFNM seems to be my husbands favorite type of play. he's the 1st one thats naked, at times, he will slowly undress me, other times i'm only partially undressed, sometimes i'm still fully clothed.
    i also like the "power" of being fully dressed, i make him wonder what i'm wearing under my clothes, sometimes letting him have a peek at a stocking top, or a subtle flash of my thong. he picks out most of my clothing and shoes for work, and all my undies.
    some of the most memorable encounters ive had with him were the times i was fully dressed, and he was exposed, especially when we could be seen by someone close by.
    i replay those times over and over in my head when i'm alone, and he's not around.
    the formal black tie banquet, after a company dinner in the elevator and hallway at a hotel, in the jacuzzi at another hotel, tent at several campgrounds, sunset on the beach.
    we have been "caught" in the past, my mother walked in on us while we were visiting her, both my daughters have found us in compromising positions more than once..

  2. i played a "hockey mom" last night...
    i'd kinda been on my husbands ass about getting some of his stuff organized. he has a large closet in the basement he keep some old athletic eq, jersey's ect in. so instead of our normal friday nite "date" i heard him bangig stuff around downstairs.. i went to investigate, and saw him toss several shoeboxes out onto the floor. crap!! i forgot i'd stored several pairs of my heels, and some ligerie that i seldom wear in that closet.
    as i stood there, more and more stuff came flying out of the closet, 25-30 hockey jerseys were in a pile on the floor. i was just rummaging through them, seeing what teams they were from.. i asked a few questions, seems there was a story behind each one...he'd played hockey from the time he learned to skate, and on many different teams. "who are the chiefs?"
    he explained the movie "slapshot" to me...
    before i knew it, i was wearing that jersey, it was HUGE, hung down to midthigh on me... then i realize my pants are being pulled down, and he was "installing" a black lace g-string on me.. soon my feet were in a pair of my highest spiked heels...
    he pushed me back into his desk chair, knelt down in front of me and started kissing and licking my thighs !!!
    my legs spread open easily, as his fingers, and then tongue worked their magic on me....
    we ended up on the floor on top of the pile of jerseys where i came 3 times before he filled me with his warm cum...
    maybe i'll let him keep the "stuff" hockey season will be starting soon !!:-)

  3. well i'm having a dilemma, we have a couple "special" days coming up, my bday and halloween. we'll be attending an "adult type" halloween party, (no one under the age of 21 is allowed) weve been to several of this host's halloween parties, but this year it's specifically adult only. ive been rummaging around through old costumes and clothing trying to come up with a "new" idea.. ive been modeling some of my choices for my husband, he hasnt said much at all about any of them. this afternoon i think i hit a perfect costume. cutoff overalls, a very tight plaid lumberjack type shirt, straw hat, and (slightly high) heeled cowboy boots, hair in pigtails... tonight should tell me if he "approves" or not since my daughter is working late, we'll have the house to ourselves
    for my upcoming bday, he's asked if i'd like to go someplace "special" for dinner. i think i'll put on something (extra) sexy and pick out a matching bra/thong/ garter belt, and "seduce" HIM. he has always tried to make my Bday special, going out to eat, or a short road trip to do something I want to do. maybe i'll find a place to eat out of town, and make an "overnighter" out of it. gotta make sure i pack everything we might need for a hotel night...