Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

An Introduction to Oral Pleasure - Fellatio

Romantic Couple

Fellatio, most commonly known as a blowjob or giving head, has myths and misinformation surrounding it just like it’s female counterpart cunnilingus. This is not something often covered in sex ed and even something you feel comfortable talking about with friends or family. Fellatio is still steeped in taboo for many and you can find laws against in it some states even today. Some just think they won’t enjoy giving it. Perhaps some information and myth busting will help make fellatio a more fun and enjoyable part of sexy time.

An Anatomy Lesson

The word fellatio comes from the latin fellatus, which is the past participle of fellare, meaning to suck. Merriam-Webster’s definition of fellatio is “the act of stimulating a man's penis with the mouth for sexual pleasure.” Just as the vulva come in all shapes and sized, the penis comes in various shapes, lengths, and widths. The tip of the penis is the glans (the head) with the urethral opening; then the foreskin (if you happen to be uncircumcised); the underside of the glans has an area called the frenulum and the rounded base of the glans is called the corona. The whole glans area has the highest concentration of nerves. The frenulum has the most nerve endings so can be the most sensitive part of the penis. The glans connects to the shaft. The ridge along the underside of the shaft is the raphe and it extends from the glans, past the scrotum to the perineum. This area is the most sensitive part of the shaft. The whole of the penis extends into the body, which includes the prostate. The opening of the urethra is called the meatus; I will pause for a moment to allow you to giggle about that.

Assumptions and Misconceptions

Many partners have balked at the idea of giving oral sex because they are concerned with taste and smell. Usually the body takes care of itself but because this part of the body is often encased in clothing, air circulation and sweat can be a factor. All you need to do is shower, just washing with soap and water will do. Diet and health can affect taste and smell. Smoking, red meat, fried food, asparagus, broccoli or cauliflower can bring on an unpleasant taste. This is more specifically a problem with semen. Drinking plenty of water (some say fruit and fruit juices help sweeten the taste of semen) and maintaining a healthy lifestyle will help. If taste is still a big issue for you, try an edible flavored lube or an oral sex flavored gel strip. Just make sure your lube is glycerin and paraben free. Another assumption is that, thanks to porn, deep throating or gagging is necessary. Fellatio is not just having a penis thrust into your mouth. Battling a gag reflex may make this seem nearly impossible. Some people can over come this reflex, others can’t. You can still give an amazing blowjob without feeling like a penis is battering your throat. If this is your thing, though, then by all means rock it. You also don’t have to swallow semen for a successful blowjob. You can choose to spit it out, use a condom, or let your partner ejaculate outside of your mouth. The sight of it landing on a part of the body can be very sexy. Fellatio can also be enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver. Pleasure can be derived from the motions and movement or from enjoying the receiver’s reactions.

Myths and Misunderstandings

You can’t get pregnant through the act of fellatio, even if you swallow. Oral sex is also not a way to get around practicing safer sex. It does not protect you from STI/STDs! There are ways to lower the chances, read on for safer sex tips. I’ve also read that semen can whiten your teeth. Sorry just isn’t true and may be one of the most creative ways any has come up with to get a reluctant partner to give more blowjobs. One of the biggest misunderstandings when performing fellatio is that you just stick the whole penis in your mouth and replicate the motions of penetrative sex. There’s more to it than that.

Spread The Wealth

While enjoying the entire length of the penis is often part of the fun for the recipient, take some time to concentrate on other areas. This is a great way to take a break from the often-tiring action of sucking. The head, rim and underside of the penis are all super sensitive. Playing with the frenulum alone can feel fantastic to your partner. Use your tongue to play around the head or run teasingly around the rim. Tickle, lick, or lap in all these areas while paying attention to your partner’s reactions will help you find all the sweet spots. Running your tongue along the length of the raphe ridge can send shivers up the spine. You can lick around the shaft too, like an ice cream cone. Don’t forget the testicles and the perineum; they’d like some attention too. The perineum is the spot between the scrotum and anus, right between thighs. This spongy spot has some wonderful nerve endings you can take advantage off. Taking a break from the penis to attend to these areas is just as exciting. Don’t forget the soft flesh around the base of the penis too. Pressure there with the fingers or running your hands around this area can add to a blowjob.

Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Not only is exploring different areas important, so is varying your technique. Keep your hands involved, stroke the shaft while you lick the head. Use your hands on other parts of the body; stroke thighs, run them down the stomach, reach around and grab some ass. Vary your speed and pressure. Change up your style with anything from fluttering tickles with the tip of your tongue, to deep strong sucks. Try different combinations. Something that didn’t work before might bring fireworks this time.

Safer Sex

There is a chance to transfer HIV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea and even HPV. You can minimize this by using a condom. Yes, a blowjob can be done while wearing one. Use one that is not lubricated (mostly because it usually tastes terrible) and add a little flavored lube if the condom doesn’t taste too appealing. Adding a little lube inside the condom really helps. The condom will move back and forth over the penis adding more pleasure to experience. Watch your teeth, as this could break the condom.

The Bottom Line

As with anything you try sexually, don’t knock ‘til you try it just trying it safely and consensually. Many partners are convinced they don’t enjoy giving oral sex have never tried or worked on other options to make it more enjoyable. Don’t leave out a great opportunity for some sexy foreplay, an alternative to penetrative sex, or a spectacular finish to some really hot sexy time. Talk, reassess, try new things, relax and be safe. You can have some amazing oral sex adventures in your future.

By: Technogeisha

Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha


  1. during most of my life i thought that giving head was "mandatory" i always did it because i thought i HAD to. my ex husband "demanded" it, but never seemed willing to reciprocate, and when we did go down on me,it was only for a short time. after my divorce, i decided i wasnt putting another dick in my mouth for any reason. when i met my (now) husband, we were sitting on my couch watching a movie, soon he was unbuttoning my top, his mouth on my erect nipples, his hand unbuttoned, and unzipped my shorts, and found it's way to my clit. i soon orgasmed, he then knelt down in front of me, pulled off my shorts and spent what seemed like hours with his tongue and fingers bringing me to 2 more orgasms. i decided "enough was enough" grabbed by the hand and was leading him towards the bedroom. i stopped in the hallway, and turned to face him, my hands found there way to his zipper, as i slowly unzipped him, i wanted his cock in my MOUTH!! i knelt down, he softly said,"you dont HAVE to do this if you dont want to" I really wanted to !!
    i released his cock and started to pull it out, it just kept getting thicker, and longer. OMFG i think i'm in trouble! anyway, i knelt down in front of him, and tried to wrap my lips around his shaft. i could barely get he head in my mouth before i started to gag, it flashed through my head, "i'm really "blowing" this, he's gonna jam this monster down my throat, and i'm going to gag.
    he stayed almost motionless, while i worked up and down as best i could, sucking, stroking, and fondling his balls. i'm now thinking should i spit, swallow, or let him cum on my face or boobs?
    i left him pulled my head back and helping me to my feet, and headed me towards the bed. i had 2 more orgasms from his tongue and fingers, now i wanted this cock INSIDE me right now!!!
    i finally got my wish, and was rewarded with a huge load deep inside my pussy, after i stopped shaking, i felt his mouth once again on my swollen clit. after a few minutes, i begged him to stop, i wanted his cum covered cock back in my mouth.
    this experience plays over and over in my mind, and makes me want him even more

  2. as today is fathers day, i decided to treat my husband to an early morning BJ. last night, after he fell asleep, i prepared myself, showered, shaved my pussy, and put on his favorite silky chemise before i went to bed.
    i woke up just as it was starting to get light, slowly and quietly i pulled back the sheets and maneuvered myself into position. he was still sound asleep as i started to fondle his balls,and stroke his cock. i sucked and licked him, his cock growing inside my mouth as he started to stir. he reached down and pulled my hair back, so he could watch.
    as usual he turned the tables on me, and his mouth and fingers brought me to a magnificent orgasm, before i could finish him off. i climbed on top of him, and rode him like a bucking bronco until he finally exploded inside me. i was a mess, still babbling incoherently, when he got up, stood beside the bed, and kissed me deeply on the lips.
    at that moment i knew i'd be at his beck and call all day long. i heard him rummaging around in my dresser and closet, i noticed he'd laid out my favorite spring/summer dress, a matching bra/thing set, and a pair of heels..
    he was still hard as he headed to the shower, i slowly composed myself, and went to the bathroom to try to fix my hair, and watched through the shower curtain. OMG i was getting wet again thinking about the possibilities !!

    he finished his shower, and took me by the hand back to our bedroom, slid my thong up my legs, fastened my bra, straightened the straps, all the while running his rough hands over my body. he buttoned up my dress, sat me down on the bed, lifted each leg slowly as he slipped on my heels, his hands caressing my inner thighs.
    he pulled on a tshirt, and a pair of jeans, i helped him get his still half hard cock stuffed in.
    we're heading out for breakfast now, wondering if it's ok to have dessert after breakfast??

  3. dont know why i'm having these feelings...
    i never thought of myself as orally "gifted", i gag, choke, my eyes water, and i could do without the taste and consistency of his cum in my mouth, and generally would rather have his "deposit" deep inside my pussy, or occasionally in my ass...
    he's ALWAYS gone down on me, ive never had to ask for that, ive tried my best with him, but (in my own mind) i just dont think i'm very good at sucking.
    he's the only one ive ever been with that doesnt "demand" or even ask for a BJ, he's always left it up to me, even when we are in a 69, sometimes i do my best to get him in my mouth, other times i dont..
    that is, until recently...
    all i seem to think about is having him in my mouth, 2 times this week, ive woken him up in the middle of the night sucking and stroking him until he's fully awake and erect, them climb on cowgirl and ride him to a quick orgasm. i recover, before he can slip out, i ride again until i feel him cum inside me...
    over the past month or so, ive just been "motivated" to have my lips around him...
    maybe it's because my 50th bday is this week, and it marks our 20th year together...