Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

It’s Not You, Honestly! Why Your Guy Loses His Erections

Couple with Erection Problem

A very common, and sometimes embarrassing, situation for a man is losing his erection. Having a man who is consistently hard and ready to go is a common misconception. Between the countless commercials we see on television practically making every man question his own sexual prowess, it’s no wonder that there is so much pressure on men to perform. There are a whole host of possibilities of why your partner may be losing their erection and it is almost always never you. For instance, he could be…


Who doesn’t get nervous when hooking up with a new partner? Even if you and your partner are well established, a little case of nervousness can set off a whole host of reactions, including putting an erection in jeopardy. Subsequently, if your partner happens to lose their erection, the more pressure they put on themselves to get hard, and stay hard, will make it even more difficult for an erection to happen.


Contrary to popular belief, alcohol is a depressant. Many equate its effects to being an aphrodisiac or an “ice breaker” because it is known to lower inhibitions. Alcohol consumption thins the blood and can reduce muscle coordination. Some men are unable to achieve an erection or ejaculate depending on how much they have consumed, colloquially known as “liquor dick”.

A Smoker

A key ingredient to a strong erection is good circulation. Smoking can constrict blood vessels and result in a weak erection.


Being overweight can impact your partner’s circulation as well. Blood has a more difficult time getting into his spongy tissue to create a firm erection.

On Medication

Certain medications can interfere with your partner’s ability to keep or maintain an erection. If the medication your partner is interferes with testosterone, a key component in sex drive, an erection may be harder to achieve. Other medications can cause weight gain, which can impact energy level as well as the side effects listed above.

Loss of erection is bound to happen to everyone at some point in their life. Whether it is just once, or something that happens frequently, it is nothing to be ashamed of. Take care to remind your partner that you know that their loss of erection is not a reflection of how they feel about you. Sometimes just taking the pressure off of your partner by switching to a different sexual activity is all you need to do to bring back an erection. If your partner is still struggling with getting or maintaining an erection, there may be a medical issue going on. While there are prescription medications for erectile dysfunction, I suggest consulting your medical doctor for an accurate diagnosis about what is going on.

Remember, these things happen! Remind your partner that you still want him and that you don’t think he is a failure. There are many other activities that you can occupy yourself with while his little guy gets his head back into the game.  

By Megan Stubbs
Follow on Twitter @SexologistMegan