Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Another month long sexy celebration! We had Masturbation May and now it’s Anal August. A month to learn new things, try something different or just enjoy sharing some conversation on the subject. Anal sex has become much less taboo over the years and can be a highly pleasurable addition to your sexy time repertoire. Some may balk at the idea because it has been uncomfortable, or downright painful, in the past, or are concerned with the cleanliness factor. There are ways to get around that and make anal sex easy, safe and satisfying. Here are some tips and techniques to get you started or up your anal game this month.
For those of you who haven’t any prior knowledge, or missed my article on anal toys, here is a short lesson on anatomy. Anal sex is not just about the anus but the lower rectum, the perineum, the prostate as well as the clitoris. It is also not just about penetration with a penis but with fingers, tongue and sex toys. The anus and rectum have many nerve endings. They respond well to touch and pressure. The inner rectum has less nerve endings but is still sensitive to pressure and motion. Internally there is also a connection to the prostate and to the clitoral “legs” (part of the clitoris that extends on either side into the body) that enhances the pleasurable experience. Getting past the sphincter is what makes people think anal sex is painful or uncomfortable. The inner and outer sphincters will tense and tighten when stressed, scared or anxious. The rectum has delicate tissue so it’s important take the right steps to relax and lubricate to not damage them. Things to always remember are; take your time and use lots of lube. Ultimately it’s the ability to get your sphincter to not clench up too much that will alleviate most of the discomfort. Also taking time for the rectum to adjust to being pushed open will help. Start small with just a finger then progressively move up to larger things like more fingers, anal beads, a butt plug, dildo or penis. Orgasm can be achieved since anal sex stimulates the clitoral legs and clitoris, prostate massage through anal sex can also trigger orgasm.
If you’re wondering about cleanliness, there are steps you can take to minimize the possibility of messiness. Cleaning the area well either with just a basic wash in the shower or bath is a good start. You can also try a light douching with a small size anal douching kit found in stores. No need for a full on enema, that is overkill and can cause damage if not done properly. The smaller kits are meant for the lower rectum only and that is really all you need to be concerned with. Using condoms (and gloves for fisting and finger cots for fingering) is highly recommended both on a penis and sex toys. This helps with easy cleanup, minimizes the chance of transferring bacteria and will make switching from anal to vaginal or switching sex toys easier and safer. If you’re not using condoms, do not penetrate elsewhere without cleaning well first due to the risk of transferring infections and bacteria.
More Anal Concerns
Another reason for going slow and using lots of lube is to minimize tears and fissures. This will not only make anal sex very uncomfortable but leaves the receiver at greater risk for infections. A dental dam should be used during anilingus (oral sex that stimulates the anus, it’s a thing and it feels really good!) Toys made of silicone, metal and glass toys should be boiled or even put in the hot wash of a dishwasher. All other materials, a super hot wash and cleaned well. Another important thing to remember is “without a base, without a trace.” ALL anal toys should have a flanged or wide base. This prevents a toy entering too far or becoming irretrievable if you lose your grip. Flangeless toys have led to many a trip to the emergency. And should there be a little, say, accidental mess during or after, that’s nothing to worry about. Sometimes in anal sex, poop happens. It’s usually quite minimal and having a sense of humor about it can help to keep things sexy. Don’t let the possibility deter you; there is a greater chance nothing will happen. If it does, be prepared to handle it with aplomb or at least have a good giggle about it.
Pretty much every sexual position is achievable for anal sex; they just might not all be comfortable especially for beginners. One might first think of the receiving partner on hands and knees while receiving from behind. This position can sometimes make it hard to relax or the receiver’s arms may get tired causing them to tense up. This may also be an uncomfortable angle for penetration for some. Try this position on your elbows instead of hands. This will raise your pelvis up and give you more stability. You can also try side by side in a spoon position; this gives the receiver a relaxed position while the giver may find they have more control over speed and depth. It also affords the receiver a chance to shift legs and pelvis easier than on hands and knees. Some prefer the receiving partner on top, cowgirl style or reverse cowgirl style, giving them control over speed and depth rather than leaving that to the giver. The giver can help with supporting the receiver’s hips. You get sexy eye contact when facing forward on top too. You can try the receiver on their back, this also give you a different angle to experiment with and greater control by the giver. A pillow under the hips with knees raised up high will help to get the optimum position and gives you better access to genitals to help with stimulation. This can help the receiver relax to make penetration a little easier. The face-to-face helps too so you can gauge your partners level of discomfort. There’s also that sexy eye contact here. You can also try a variant of receiver on top with the giver seated or sitting up. This will get you in closer proximity to each other than if the giver was lying down. Using furniture or pillows as you kneel or stand can help give you the support and angle you need. As you get more relaxed and comfortable you can try just about any position.
In The End (I couldn’t resist)
Anal sex can be highly enjoyable if you take the time. Don’t forget the possibility of pegging too. Pegging is anal sex with a strap on harness and dildo. All the above are possible with a strap on. More attention to speed and depth needs to be taken as the giver cannot feel through the dildo like a penis or hand can. The most important thing is getting over your fear, do lots of prep beforehand, communicate with your partner, and get ready for some really hot sex.
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