Bedroom Insider

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

Fetishes – Variety is the Spice of Life

Sexy Brunette Woman Laying on Floor

January 16th is International Fetish Day. This originated in the UK but went international a year later. While it may not be a well-known event, it’s a great time to talk about the word “fetish” and its somewhat clouded meaning. Words like “kink,” “fetish,” and “paraphilia” are all variations of similar ideas. Let’s look at their definitions and some examples. This article won’t provide a definitive explanation since the concept of “fetish” is continually evolving in the way it’s regarded in the medical and legal fields. The goal is to give you a greater understanding of the wide variety of fetishes out there, how they are practiced and experienced. Hopefully it will help you to understand that everyday ordinary people can have some interesting desires and still be healthy ordinary people.

Fetish is a word used for lots of things but the true definition is rarely known. The word first saw its use in the late 19th century. Merriam-Webster defines fetish as a need or desire for an object, body part or activity for sexual excitement. It goes on to describe fetish as an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. A fetish can be for a form, a media, an animate object or a combination of thereof. It can be a kink but not all things we consider a fetish or kink is absolutely necessary for sexual gratification. For some a little bit of bondage, spanking, flogging or humiliation can add some fun to sexy time but not necessary for sex to be satisfying. If you need any of these items, or any of a wide range of other things, then you may have a fetish. If your fetish is leaning towards the extreme, meaning you can’t attain any sexual satisfaction at all other than from your fetish or to attain your fetish it requires dangerous or illegal action it is considered paraphilia.

Paraphilia is defined as a pattern of recurring sexually arousing mental imagery or behavior that involves unusual and especially socially unacceptable sexual practices. Basically anything that is considered highly atypical. It is also defined as “optional” paraphilia that aren’t necessary for sexual fulfillment but can enhance sexual experiences or “preferred” paraphilia wherein the paraphilia is necessary for sexual gratification. This definition is fairly new, for a long time things like sadism, masochism, etc., which seem commonplace now, were all under the paraphilia umbrella. For years the definition of fetish and paraphilia weren’t really separate. Even now it’s hard to separate their definitions as I found lots of research articles that still defined basic bdsm as a paraphilia. Let’s look at some common forms of sexual fetishism.

There are many different types of fetishes. A form fetish is when the fetish takes a specific shape. The object could be used during masturbation, holding or touching the object during sex, or even just the sight or smell of the object can be arousing. There are far too many objects to even begin to list here. Most common items are women’s lingerie (bras, panties, stockings, etc.), shoes, boots and gloves. People can also find statues or mannequins arousing. For some it can be stuffed animals, Plushies are different from Furries that enjoy dressing as anthropomorphized animals; this fetish is for an actual stuffed animal. There’s even a fetish for trees. A media fetish is more about the material an object is made out of than the actual object. The material can be experienced just like a form fetish with holding, touching, sight or smell of the material being sexually arousing. It can be leather, silk, latex, plastic, rubber or fur. The previous fetishes are all for inanimate objects. There’s also animate fetish for parts of the body or living things. This can be a fetish for feet, hair, breasts, the buttocks, the stomach, armpits, legs, hand, or even eyeballs (licking eyeballs is a real fetish). It can be for amputees, insects or even animals. Some of these can be combined like feet in silk stockings, latex and asphyxiation used together in a latex vacuum bed or can be only the specific item.

Fetishes can be for specific acts like getting covered in food or getting very dirty. There are fetishes involving crushing objects under the feet or being sat on or seemingly crushed by a larger person. Some are turned on by fire, by dressing or acting like a child, or being used as furniture. It can be enemas, urination, or even piercings and blood. Almost anything can be sexually arousing to anyone, and if you invoke Internet Rule #34 there’s already porn for it. What’s important to know is that a vast majority of people with fetishes will practice them consensually and are usually no different that everyone else. I say usually because there is a small fraction whose paraphilia is triggered by either mental illness or other disorder. Most people are ordinary folk who find something outside the currently perceived norm as sexually arousing. While some will find their fetish manifests at a very early age, some can start well into adulthood. Often it can be linked to a specific event in their lives but some have no idea why that particular stimulus floats their boat. Many fetishes don’t even require sex (particularly penetrative sex) to be involved at all.

What’s important to note is the less we label people with unusual fetishes or atypical sexual preferences as freaky, disturbing or downright weird the more people will come forward to talk about their different fetishes so we can better understand them. I’ve only touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sexual fetish and paraphilia. Check out these websites for more info; The Kinsey Institute, Psychology Today and Sex and Psychology. Here are some interesting articles about fetishes and paraphilias; A list of paraphilias, some great background information about fetishes on io9 and a fascinating article about the truths about sexual fetishes from a dominatrix’s perspective at Cracked.

By: Technogeisha
Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha


  1. before i met my husband, i really had no idea about fetishes, role play, ect. my 1st husband/marriage was a "plain vanilla" type. all he wanted to me to do is suck him a little, then climb on,(missionary) give me a few pumps, unload, and all asleep. it left me frustrated and unfullfilled.
    when i met my current husband, everything in my sex life changed, multiple everything, positions,orgasms, and times per day/night. we went out for breakfast after our 1st night together, he helped me get dressed, found matching bra/panty, a flowered sundress, and a pair of low heels for me to wear that morning. the whole morning while we were eating, i could see his erection through his jeans.
    we went on a little shopping trip, he bought a couple brightly colored thong/bra sets, and matching pairs of heels.
    i started to understand his point of view, he wanted me to look "nice", and feel confident.
    6 weeks later we were meeting again, he had suggested it would be nice to have a chauffeur pick him up at the airport, i dressed the part, black pencil skirt, white button up blouse, black heels, thigh highs, matching white lace bra/thong. i see immediately see he approved as we exited the airport, as his erection was growing larger. the ride home was adventurous to say the least
    we eventually moved in together, i was working in a const company office, dress was typically jeans/workboots, but occasionally i needed to be "properly" dressed for client meetings. we went shopping for those times, he picked out all my clothes and accessories, all the way down to my underwear.
    one morning i was getting dressed for an important meeting that day, he didnt seem to like the outfit i had picked out... i was a little pissed off, but he insisted on me changing..
    i stripped while he watched, and he redressed me, purple blouse under a pinstripe skirt suit, complete with a lacy purple bra/thong, matching garter belt, stockings, and purple heels. i left for work, i was both scared and thrilled during my long drive to work. all day, i couldnt keep my mind off what i was wearing, knowing nobody else knew how "naughty" i was dressed under my formal suit.
    much to my surprise, late in the afternoon i got a message from my husband, we was working nearby my office, and told me to stay there until he arrived. it was 6pm before he showed up, i was alone in the office, my mind was racing, trying to figure out what he had planned.
    he didnt waste any time getting down to business, we played, sucked and fucked for hours for the conference room table, where just hours before i made made my presentation to a new client. i'm confident that my appearance played a huge part in getting the job.
    since them, my husband has come up with several "suggestions" for nice, but naughty things for me to explore.
    at my daughters wedding, he insisted that i should wear a garter belt and stockings under my long dress... i took his advice, i'm glad i did !!!
    one thing for sure, the bride wasnt "fulfilled" on her wedding night, mother of the bride had several orgasms that night, and into the next day. :-)

  2. i found out on friday aftrnoon, husband is leaving monday night( memorial day) to attend a training class. i was kinda bummed out and a little pissed off, until he informed me that he'd have a hotel room by himself, and i could come along if i wanted to !!!
    ROAD TRIP!!!!! these trips are usually very interesting, i love to play while he's driving, hotel sex is high on my list of "things to do"
    we've been picking out my wardrobe for the week, even ventured out to the mall for a short shopping trip to pick up a couple more thongs/bras, and a new pair of heels.
    at least this trip he'll be staying in a nicer hotel, restaurant/bar, day spa, pool and jacuzzi.
    i'm getting wet just thinking about the possibilities!!!

  3. the trip was interesting to say the least, after i dropped him off in the morning i spent the days wandering around town, exploring, investigating, and doing a little shopping. he liked the "curbside/after school pickup services" that i offered.
    after dinner and drinks every night, we spent the rest of our evenings playing at the hotel. i'm exhausted, and a little sore, but it's worth it!!