Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Friday, February 15, 2019

New Year’s Resolutions: Sex Edition

Young passionate lovers lie

Opinions on New Year’s resolutions vary far and wide. Some folks view the start of a new year as a clean slate filled with endless opportunities for growth, while some see it as a month like any other. Most resolutions revolve around self-improvement, like eating a healthier diet, balancing finances, or reaching a fitness goal, but what if we made New Year’s resolutions for our sex lives? Our habits around sex influence both our mental health and our sense of intimacy with others. Those aspects of our lives deserve care just as much as our physical health and finances do. Whether you embrace the New Year as a time to start afresh or view it as any other day, here are some possible sex intentions to set for 2019.

Have More Sex

For many of us, it seems impossible to find time for intimacy. It seems like there’s always work to be done, bills to be paid, children to be cared for, and messes to clean up. Not to mention a partner to find. As with any goal, aiming to have more sex might mean you need to put some work into making it happen. That could be setting up an online dating profile or going on more dates, or it could mean scheduling time with your partner or finding childcare. It might even mean overcoming some personal hang ups around sex, which can be helped with a therapist. Whatever is preventing you from your ideal sex life, take a look at what it might be, and make some steps towards finding strategies to overcome or confront the issue.

Have Better Sex

The way to do so? Increase communication and honesty. Ask your partner what they like, what turns them on, and what body parts they like touched and how. Listen to their answers, and if they’re not too shy, ask them to show you how they like it. Advocate for your own needs and desires as well, and don’t settle for partners who won’t listen to them. This may mean having less sex. Say no to sex you’re not thrilled about. Praise and thank your partner for a job well done, and tell them what you want more of next time. For more examples of ways to talk about sex, check out our guide to communication.

Masturbate More

Maturbation is the number one way to find out what your body likes and dislikes, plus, it comes with a whole host of benefits! It can improve sleep, relieve stress, reduce menstrual cramps, help connect you with your body, and more. Creating time for masturbation means creating time for all those benefits, and of course, good feelings and orgasms!

Try New Things

What have you considered trying in the past but just haven’t been able to yet? Test a new toy or two, experiment with some new sex acts, or even get a little kinky! You could switch roles with a partner and unleash your dominant or submissive side, dabble in some rope bondage, or slow down and try tantric sex for some extra sensual connection. Make a list of things that interest you and see how many you can do before the end of the year.

Take Care of Your Sexual Health

Whatever your needs are, this upcoming year is a great time to check in with a medical provider and see if you’re due for any sexual health care. If you have a prostate, ask your doctor about a prostate health screening. If you’ve got a cervix (the hole that separates the vagina and uterus), see if it’s time for a pap smear (recommended once every three years). Paps detect abnormal cervical cells, and screen for cervical cancer and HPV. Speaking of HPV, the FDA just extended the approved age range for Gardasil, which vaccinates against the most high-risk strains of potentially cancer-causing HPV. If you’re under the age of 45, call your health insurance provider and ask if they’ll cover the three shots needed to keep you safe.

Get Tested

If you’re sexually active with more than one partner, or if your partner has other partners, it’s recommended to be tested for STIs (sexually transmitted infections) at least once per year, perhaps even more often depending on your levels of safer sex or frequency of new partners. The problem with STIs is that someone with an infection might not show any symptoms, but will still be able to spread the infection. Some STIs may be damaging to reproductive organs even without showing symptoms, so even if nothing “seems wrong”, it is important to be routinely tested to keep you and your partners safe.

Maybe your goals are nothing like these. Maybe you just want to be better with condom use or start a new birth control that better suits your lifestyle. Maybe you want to have less sex or become sexually active for the first time in a while. Whatever you want to do, write it down and take some baby steps. Your goals are unique to you. They’re valid. You deserve to have the sex you want, and you’re worth it. Happy New Year!

By: Sammi
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