It's far more common for men to orgasm during sexual
encounters than women, especially when it comes to casual encounters. Why is
this? Research has found that most women either need clitoral stimulation to orgasm or prefer it to
do so. But penetration alone typically provides little to no clitoral pleasure
for a woman.
This means that it doesn't matter how hard your erection
is or how long you can keep it up. However, the bright side is that you can use
your entire body to give her pleasure, which gives your penis a break. And if
you and your partner are willing to explore, you can discover how she can have
consistent orgasms.
Take Your Time
The first step to ensuring a woman has an orgasm is taking
time to ensure she's adequately aroused. Without this arousal, sex can be
uncomfortable or even painful. So don't rush to penetration. Use your hands and
mouth. Spend more time making out rather than just giving a few perfunctory
kisses. As a result, you'll be more aroused, too!
Understand Her Desire
Many people misunderstand how sexual desire works. For
many women who have responsive desire, desire can only appear after physical arousal,
which is one reason why taking your is important. On top of that, desire
problems can interfere with a person's ability to have an orgasm.
But it's not just about ramping up that sex drive. There
are things that inhibit the sex drive, too. This is known as the dual-control
model of sexual response, which was suggested by Bancroft and Janssen as a way
to explain desire. You can add all the candles and kisses you want, but if you
don't deal with things that kill desires such as stress, low body image,
relationship issues, and health issues including medications, it's like hitting
the gas while the parking brake is still on.
A sensual massage can release stress and get her mind and
body on the same page so she can really let go and enjoy sensual pleasure. She
may also benefit from mindfulness techniques.
If you're interested in some reading material, Emily
Nagoski's book Come As You Are expands on the issue of desire.
Get Handsy
Your hands are perfect for rubbing her clitoris until
she's writhing in ecstasy. Any time you have a free hand, reach out and touch
her most sensitive place! A few positions are especially conducive for this,
including doggie style and any position where you're behind her and don't need
both hands for stabilization.
Here's a way to spice it up: either place your hand over
hers to stimulate her clitoris, or place your hand under hers so she can guide you and show you exactly what she wants.
You can also place your hand around the base of your penis
when she's riding you with two fingers on either side similar to Spock's hand.
This allows her to grind against your knuckles.
Don't forget to use your finger and hands before and after
penetration. If your fingers are inside her, you can use your thumb to
stimulate your clitoris. For even more pressure, insert just your ring and
middle finger with your pinky and index finger resting on either side of her
labia. Bend your wrist up to stimulate her clitoris with the palm of your hand.
Become a Cunning Linguist
Although this wordplay might be a bit dated, the advice is
always fresh. Oral sex is a great way to help your partner become turned on and
experience an orgasm. To make sure she gets the most out of it, show enthusiasm
and don't rush through it. Pay attention to her bodily cues to see what she
responds to, and don't switch things up if orgasm is imminent.
Try a New Sex Position
Coital Alignment Technique, in which you move your body up
so you can grind against her clitoris was designed by psychotherapist Edward
Eichel precisely to give women more pleasure during sex.
Thigh Tide is a variation of Reverse Cowgirl where the
woman is on top but facing away from her partner. If you're the partner on the
bottom, lift one of your legs and bend your knee so that your foot is flat on
the bed beneath you. As your partner rides you, she can grind against your
thigh for clitoral stimulation.
Position pillows made from memory foam can change angles
to provide more pleasure for both of you. Your partner may also enjoy grinding
against them, and some pillows (such as those made by Liberator) even have
pockets to insert a vibrator, which brings us to our next point.
Fill Your Toolbox
One of the most effective ways for a woman to have an
orgasm is with the use of a sex toy. If you already know she finds it easier to
orgasm with her vibrator, you can use that toy or even shop together for one
that you use together.
Many people start with a small bullet vibrator that's not
intimidating, easy to use, and ideal for clitoral stimulation. However, bullet
vibes are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sex toys. You'll find
there are toys that each of you can enjoy alone as well as those you can use
together. Consider the following examples.
- The Magic Wand Original has been lauded for years as the “Cadillac” of sex toys by power queens
- Womanizer was the first to come out with a line of air pulsators that create suction around the clitoris, but many others have joined the game since then
- Try a G-spot vibrator with a curved head for internal stimulation
- She can wear a couples vibrator such as the We-Vibe during sex, and you'll get to enjoy it, too
- Put on a vibrating cock ring to stimulate her clitoris as you thrust
There are plenty of options to choose from, so don't think
you need to try all of them or break the bank by going for a luxury toy.
However, beware that not every sex toy works for everybody, and there is some
trial and error involved.
Experimenting with these tricks can bring her closer to
orgasm and the two of you closer together.
By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r
