Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

What to Do When You Hate Your New Sex Toy

Woman holding anal balls in bed

There are few things are enjoyable as tearing open a package to reveal a new sex toy or rushing home after your trip to the local sex shop to try out your goodies. Except, sometimes the pleasure and orgasms you're expecting fail to appear, and you only experience disappointment. Sometimes you can even hate your new sex toy. What do you do then?

Try It Again

Perhaps you're stressed, feeling under the weather, or in part of your menstrual cycle when desire and/or pleasure are a bit harder to achieve. Plus, if you're simply getting used to a new sex toy, it might take a few tries for it to feel normal. This can happen if you've never used a sex toy before or if you're accustomed to using sex toys in a certain way.

Use It In Different Ways

This piggybacks on the idea that you may have to use a toy a few times before you like it. Instead of just using it again, however, you need to experiment with the way you use it. Perhaps you're accustomed to using your hand to masturbate or you may have had a previous toy with a different shape, size, or vibration effect.

Not only should you use your toy differently than you're used to, but you might benefit if you use it differently from intended. For example, you might not love a toy for G-spot stimulation, but it might feel nice stimulating your clitoris or nipples externally – even if it was intended for internal play. You could find that a toy designed for couples work better solo or vice versa. As long as you keep safety in mind, there's no wrong way to use a sex toy.

Use Lube

If your sex toy feels a bit large or has a texture that's more grabby or sticky, lube can be a lifesaver. It makes penetration easier and more comfortable and can enable you to play with your toy longer. Some people don't realize that playing with toys or having sex shouldn't hurt. If it does, lube might be an easy fix.

There are a few different lube recipes. In general, water-based lube is compatible with all toys, but some silicone toys may not be compatible with silicone-based lubes. You can perform a spot test by applying a small amount of lube on the base of the toy and rubbing vigorously for a few minutes. If the toy becomes gummy or sticky, it's not compatible with that lube.

Check Out The Toy's Material

Speaking of materials, what your toy is made of could be why you hate it. Some materials are lower quality and can lead to burning during or after play. This is especially true of porous materials such as latex, PVC, or sil-a-gel. Jelly toys can eventually start leaching chemicals, which makes them become misshapen or fuse to other toys. You may be to use a condom with a toy to make it more comfortable, but sometimes you just need to toss the offending toy and buy one made out of body-safe materials.

Remember, however, that just because a toy is made of high-quality materials doesn't mean you'll like it. Stainless steel is nonporous but it might be too heavy or rigid for some people. Others may not like a  toy that's slippery or can fall and break in the shower. Silicone can have a velvety texture that makes for a lot of drag.

Cut Your Losses

When you're experimenting with sex toys, you'll discover personal preferences that make a toy a bad match for you even if someone else might love it. Sometimes we simply have to eat the cost of discovery, which might be why you may want to hold off on a luxury toy until you know what you like better. However, nonporous toys can be sterilized and passed on to others who might enjoy them better.

 By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r