There are few things are enjoyable as tearing open a package
to reveal a new sex toy or rushing home after your trip to the local sex shop
to try out your goodies. Except, sometimes the pleasure and orgasms you're
expecting fail to appear, and you only experience disappointment. Sometimes you
can even hate your new sex toy. What do you do then?
Try It Again
Perhaps you're stressed, feeling under the weather, or in
part of your menstrual cycle when desire and/or pleasure are a bit harder to
achieve. Plus, if you're simply getting used to a new sex toy, it might take a
few tries for it to feel normal. This can happen if you've never used a sex toy
before or if you're accustomed to using sex toys in a certain way.
Use It In Different Ways
This piggybacks on the idea that you may have to use a toy a
few times before you like it. Instead of just using it again, however, you need
to experiment with the way you use it. Perhaps you're accustomed to using your
hand to masturbate or you may have had a previous toy with a different shape,
size, or vibration effect.
Not only should you use your toy differently than you're
used to, but you might benefit if you use it differently from intended. For
example, you might not love a toy for G-spot stimulation, but it might feel
nice stimulating your clitoris or nipples externally – even if it was intended
for internal play. You could find that a toy designed for couples work better
solo or vice versa. As long as you keep safety in mind, there's
no wrong way to use a sex toy.
Use Lube
If your sex toy feels a bit large or has a texture that's more
grabby or sticky, lube can be a lifesaver. It makes penetration easier and
more comfortable and can enable you to play with your toy longer. Some people
don't realize that playing with toys or having sex shouldn't
hurt. If it does, lube might be an easy fix.
There are a few different lube recipes. In general,
water-based lube is compatible with all toys, but some silicone toys may not be
compatible with silicone-based lubes. You can perform a spot test by applying a
small amount of lube on the base of the toy and rubbing vigorously for a few
minutes. If the toy becomes gummy or sticky, it's not compatible with that lube.
Check Out The Toy's Material
Speaking of materials, what your toy is made of could be why
you hate it. Some materials are lower quality and can
lead to burning during or after play. This is especially true of porous
materials such as latex, PVC, or sil-a-gel. Jelly toys can eventually start
leaching chemicals, which makes them become misshapen or fuse to other toys.
You may be to use a condom with a toy to make it more comfortable, but
sometimes you just need to toss the offending toy and buy one made out of
body-safe materials.
Remember, however, that just because a toy is made of
high-quality materials doesn't mean you'll like it. Stainless steel is
nonporous but it might be too heavy or rigid for some people. Others may not
like a toy that's slippery or can fall
and break in the shower. Silicone can have a velvety texture that makes for a
lot of drag.
Cut Your Losses
When you're experimenting with sex toys, you'll discover
personal preferences that make a toy a bad match for you even if someone else
might love it. Sometimes we simply have to eat the cost of discovery, which
might be why you may want to hold
off on a luxury toy until you know what you like better. However, nonporous
toys can be sterilized and passed on to others who might enjoy them better.
By: Adriana Ravenlust
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r
Follow on Twitter @adriana_r
