The recent interest in all things kinky has sparked the
desire to learn more about BDSM. If you’re new to BDSM, I’d like to introduce
you to the “B” in that acronym: Bondage. Bondage can be a sexy bit of kink easily
added to your routine.
You may be tempted to go all out in your first bondage
attempt but I highly advise you start simple and work up. Getting frustrated
with a complicated shibari rope dress that makes you feel more like you’ve
failed getting your boy scout badge will not make for a sexy evening. Nor will
trying something too uncomfortable or painful help either. There are many ways
to explore and many types of restraints. You can DIY or pick up at your
local Cirilla's store or shop online. The type of restraint you use has to do with
how quickly you’d like to be able to undo the restraints, what feels
comfortable on your skin, and how much restraint you desire.
Rope is often the first type of restraint that comes to
mind. I highly suggest you don’t just pickup that roll of twine you keep in the
kitchen. Rope that is too thin will cut uncomfortably into your skin and the
roughness may not be what you’re looking for. Single braided nylon rope can be found
in any hardware store or Cirilla's. You can also get natural fibers like hemp,
cotton, and linen that have more tooth so are less slippery than nylon. Most
importantly, you should always have a pair of surgical scissors or blunt tipped
household scissors handy to use for quick emergency release.
Bondage tape is an easy and inexpensive alternative to rope.
Made of PVC, it comes in a variety of colors in a roll like packing tape.
Bondage tape only sticks to itself, not to skin or hair like conventional tape.
You can wrap it around wrists, arms, legs, even the whole body if you have
enough. One roll goes a long way and if you’re patient you can roll that baby
back up and use it again. The tape will break if pulled on too hard so don’t
use it to support body weight. Bondage tape can also be easily cut in an
emergency.
Bondage cuffs don’t require any knot tying knowledge and can
be found with buckled closures, velcro closures or both. Cuffs are an easy way to
get the job done. They can be clipped to each other or onto other accessories using
snap clips or carabiners. They come in leather, vinyl or cloth in a variety of
colors. You can find them lined with soft material, even fur! This is a great
alternative to handcuffs that may look entry level but come with their own set
of problems. Handcuffs can be very uncomfortable and over tightening can damage
skin or even cause nerve damage. You need fully adjustable cuffs that lock so
they don’t tighten by accident and always have two sets of keys. Bondage cuffs
wont tighten accidentally and can be removed by unbuckling or just ripping open
the Velcro. The wider cuff also provides more comfort if you are looking for
restraint without pain.
There are other options like collars and arm binders, even
straightjackets and full body encasements. As I said earlier, lets start simple
and work your way up. You have other household items at your disposal too.
Scarves, pantyhose, even neckties can be used as restraints.
Before you start using any of these items, the discussion of
safe words is a necessity. Words like “Yellow” for “Warning, I’m not feeling
comfortable.” and “Red” for “Stop immediately!” quickly alerts you that your
partner is not roleplaying and action must be taken immediately. But hey, if
you prefer words like “Swordfish!” or “Justin Beiber!” please feel free to use
them. “Stop” is also perfectly acceptable; just make sure your partner knows
this too.
You can start by tying your partner’s wrists together. Not
too tight, a little wriggle room is fine. You can tie in front which will leave
the option for the tied up partner to control their arms, to let you hold them
down, to put them behind their head or tie them to the headboard. If your partner
feels comfortable you can tie wrists apart to bedposts. If you don’t have
bedposts there are kits you can buy that attach straps to your bed you can tie
to. You don’t even have to start in bed; you can tie your partner while seated
in a chair. You also don’t need to jump straight into sex. Tease them by
undressing while they are incapable of touching. Having your body close enough
to touch if they weren’t tied down can be a great turn on. Kissing, touching
with fingertips (or a feather, fuzzy mitt or scarf), using a favorite sex toy
or teasing with a vibrator can make them wriggle in sexy anticipation. Some
people prefer to be untied before sex, and that’s ok. Bondage just as foreplay
can be lots of fun. Bondage during sex can be fun too. The feeling of having
limbs restrained or tied to something often heightens arousal and can add to
the intensity of an orgasm.
You’ll have a better idea of what more you’d like to explore
after you’ve had your first bondage experience. You may decide it’s just not
for you. I know people who have trouble giving up that kind of trust even to a
close partner or simply don’t enjoy giving up that much control. Do what feels
good for both of you while never forgetting things like the importance of trust
and communication. Who know, you may find yourself interested in trying some of
those other kinky letters in BDSM.
By: Technogeisha
Follow on Twitter @Technogeisha
