Bedroom Insider

A blog about relationships, intimacy and sex toys.

Friday, January 18, 2019

How to Choose a First Sex Toy

Shopping for your first sex toy can be both exciting and overwhelming. So many options exist, but not all of them will fit your needs. Often, you might not even know exactly what your needs are! What size dildo do you like? Do you prefer broad or pinpoint vibrations? How strong do those vibrations need to be? When you’ve never tried a sex toy, you might not have the answer to these questions, but there are a few ways figure that out.

One of the trickiest aspects of sex toy shopping is balancing cost and quality. So many folks have spent ten bucks on a cheap vibrator only to toss it thinking they don’t enjoy sex toys, when the one that they tried simply wasn’t any good. However, sex toys can also be expensive, and not everyone can spend upwards of a hundred dollars on a dildo.

Finding the balance between budget and quality can seem difficult, but there is one thing you really shouldn’t skimp on, and that’s safety. The truth is that some sex toy materials are not safe for the human body, especially our most sensitive bits. Some materials leach toxic chemicals, which can irritate skin or cause allergic reactions, while some may harbor bacteria, even after being washed, and end up causing an uncomfortable infection. Steer clear of products labeled “TPR”, “TPE”, “PVC”, “jelly”, or any sort of “something-skin”. Instead, only buy products that are made of silicone, ABS plastic, glass, or metal. These materials are not only safe for bodies, but since they’re better quality, they’ll last longer, and you’ll get more for your money.

All toys share the overall importance of safety, but each one has it’s own different tips and tricks for a new purchase. Here are a few of those recommendations to help you find something that works for your both your body and your budget.


If you’ve never tried a vibrator before, chances are you might not know what you’d like. Vibrators come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and strengths, and everyone has their individual preferences. For example, some people prefer “broad” stimulation from a toy that will cover a large area (like a wand-style vibe), others prefer more “pinpoint” action from a toy with a point, (like a bullet vibe). For a first toy, look for something that offers both to see which one you prefer! On a similar note, try to find something with multiple vibration intensities and patterns.
Try: Blush Novelties Revitalize Massage Kit ($19.99), Blush Novelties Hue G ($36.99), We-Vibe Touch ($99.99), or Rave ($119.99)

Butt Plugs

When it comes to purchasing butt toys, safety is the most important thing to look for. Besides buying a silicone, glass, or metal toy (which is extra important for anal toys because of the bacteria in that particular part of the body), be sure the toy you choose has a wide enough base. Avoid any butt plugs with a ring on the end, as these often aren’t enough to keep it outside the body and may end up lost inside if inserted (definitely a trip to the emergency room you want to avoid). Instead, choose a plug with a base that looks like a T.
Try: INYA Spade Plug (small ($13) and medium ($16)) B-Vibe Snug Plug (Five different sizes $45-65)  nJoy Pure Plug ($73)


Often, the biggest issue folks have when purchasing a first dildo is estimating the ideal size. What may be considered small to someone may be large to someone else. Because of this, it’s best to get a ballpark measurement for what you’re looking for. If you use fingers or a penis regularly, measure the length and diameter to have a reference of what you already enjoy. Then, you can decide if you want something larger or smaller. If you hope to target the G-spot or prostate, look for a toy with a curve. If you plan to use a dildo anally, be sure it has a large base (like this) as opposed to no base (like this), so nothing gets lost in there!
Try: Blush Novelties Cici dildo ($25.99), BS Atelier Oben ($59.99) or Nude Realistic ($76.99)


Strokers or masturbators are a bit different in terms of cost and quality. Nearly all of them are made of TPR, but since they’re not being inserted into the body, bacterial growth isn’t as much of a concern. Single-use strokers can be found for as low as $8, but there’s always a chance to upgrade. Some strokers vibrate, some use suction technology, and some use a motor to provide extra pleasure. Whatever you choose, just don’t forget a water-based lubricant to keep things slippery!
Try: a Tenga Egg ($7.99), the Fleshlight Quickshot ($37.99), or the Fleshlight Flight Pilot ($59.99)

With any toy, you can always do a web search to see what others think of it. Although everyone has different preferences, folks can often tell how well the products works for it’s intended function. They can also tell you how firm or soft a dildo or butt toy is, how strong the vibrations are, and if it is faulty or easily broken.

As a final tip, keep in mind that not liking a toy does not necessarily mean you won’t like any sex toys. If this happens, try something totally different. Did you go for one of those bullet vibes? Try a wand instead. Stroker was too big or small? A web search can help you find something that will be the right size for you. Everyone is different, and you deserve a happy healthy sex life, complete with a toy that’s best for you!

By: Sammi
Follow on Twitter @Squeaky_Springs